to be annoyed about other people not minding their kids

[woodlands35]

dh had day off work yesterday & seeing as i was up 4 times during the night with our dd trying to settle her back to sleep i was tired so dh suggested we go out for dinner .
( this was the first time we have gone out for dinner in over a year) so we went to a nice little country pub for lunch , just as we arrived there were 2 toddlers running around , we smiled at them but decided to sit away from them as we had our own 2 dc's with us , just as the food arrived at the table the 2 toddlers (about 3yrs) came over & sat at our table & started picking food off our ds plate their parents were sitting facing us & didn't seem to care less about what their children got up to , 3 times we heard the bar man shout at them & he gave us a funny look as the were sitting at our table im sure he thought they were our kds in the end we left & didnt enjoy it a all . i was very tempted to ask their parents to remove them from our table but wimped out in the end . AIBU.

I feel for you, OP - it does sound like the other parents were remarkably thick-skinned (to put it nicely).

I have fond memories of the landlord at our local when I was growing up, who never put up with any nonsense from anyone - he was the sort of person who would've stepped in to sort out a situation like this! I suspect it's different now many pubs have managers.

sherazade were you out for lunch yesterday with 2 toddlers by any chance

nope.

If my children had done that as toddlers i would have gone over and sorted them out and apologised to the family they were disturbing. But as I introduced social skills to my children at an early age to include eating out then this has rarely been a problem for me as they know how to behave.

Of course toddlers are toddlers, but they're not at nursery or a playground where they are free to run around and do as they please.

I do agree the barman shouldnt have shouted at the toddlers, instead he should have told their parents to keep their children under control or leave!

i cant beleive you didnt say go away no/go find your parents to the children or call to the other parents to controllook after their own children

there is no way i would put up with what those children did

you let it happen so its 50/50 blame, their parents and you are both to blame

if they had of been a little bit older then yes maybe i would have told them to " go away" but they were only about 3yr olds ,
i suppose i reckoned that if i gave out to them they would cry & that would cause a scene , & as it was our first meal out in a long time i just let it go but it did annoy me that their parents didn't seem to care less who their kids annoyed .

Pick one up, put it on your knee and feed it from your plate whilst crooning 'Poor starving babe'
Watch the panic spread.

what kazzi said

and lolgoblin!

god,can't abide it when wet parents say things like'oh,they're only little,they don't understand,i don't want to upset them...etc' they bleedin' DO understand,from a very early age.when are you going to teach them how to behave in public if not from the beginning?
are you gonna wait until they go to school and start picking food off the other kids' plates in the dinner hall..they'll be popular then,won't they?

my children are 3 and 16 months and there is no way they would do that.my 3 year old has excellent table manners,through hard work/repitition on our part.waitresses often comment how well beahved they are and how much easier/less stressful it makes their job.

their cousins on the other hand,are 6,9 and 10.they are a complete nightmare and i will go to great lenghts to avoid a social situation if they will be attending.

they tear the place up whilst their parents sit deliberately ignoring them(which takes some doing,let me tell ya). The 5 year old took someone's handbag off the table at my dd's christening and flung it accross the room spilling the contents everywhere.
everyone looked at the bag.then looked at the mum.who looked away!
bottom line,people make excuses for their kid's behaviour because they can't be arsed instilling the basics.

aaaaand exhale!

Message withdrawn

me too by the way...my rant was directed at parents of the other children..not you op!sometimes it's difficult to know what to do in situations such as these.people are unpredictable,and you don't want a potential scene in front of your d.c's.plus,you had had a bad night(we ALL empathise with how that feels)and couldn't face it.they were totally to blame

thanks pitchounette, finally some1 on here that understands the situation , i also am a bit shocked at some of the replies ,
motherbeyond we also have had people commenting on how well behaved our dc's are its lovely when you can take the dcs anywhere & not have to hang your head in shame at their behaviour . my son (10) went to the cinema with my dh last month & the man serving them their treats gave my son 2 large bags of sweets for free just because my son used his manners the man told my dh it was very refreshing to see such a polite boy my ds was chuffed with himself & we are very proud .
motherbeyond we also have nephews (like your own) that are exactly the same in fact i have had to stop having parties in the house for our dc's because it means having to invite these nephews along , last year the 6yr old took batteries out of TV remote & i caught his hand just b4 he threw them at TV screen ( new lcd tv) & likewise their mother never corrects them,

we too have insisted on good manners since a very early age but not all parents do that any more hence SO many little brats darlings .

well done you ,for putting in the hard work at the start.it's not THAT difficult to lay down the basic rules and mold as you go along.
though you'd think so,as so many people don't bother.i
n the end,it'll be the kids who come off worse.noone wants to be friends with a brat.and brattish children who get away with whatever they want,usually turn into adults who are morons.and again,who want to be friends with/marry/work with, a tit?!
it's nice when you are rewarded for your diligence by an acknowledgment,such as the one your son got at the cinema.
nice for the parents.
nice for the child(as you point out..he was chuffed)
nice for the recipricant of said good manners!
everyone's a winner {grin]

You're right, manners do matter. I was very very proud when ds1 (6) came home with a sticker from school saying he was the only boy out of 20 heard to say please and thank you to the dinner ladies at lunch

And what a way to end a bad day, if this had happened to me I would have insisted that the parents paid for another meal, I wouldn't have let my DD eat anything after a couple of toddlers had had their mits on it.

And shame on the parents as ultimately it's their fault.

atwnw , the toddler only got to pick 1 chip from ds plate then i pulled the plate away & said no , otherwise yes i would have had to get ds a new meal , the toddlers just sat there picking their noses & staring at us (yuk) i was more annoyed at their parent tbh even after the barman had words with the father he still let the kids come back over to us .
verygreen thats lovely , i agree with motherbeyond it is great when some1 awards dc's for their manners ,