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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

- A Genuine AIBU?

40 replies

Mintyy · 03/07/2009 13:58

I have thought and thought about this, canvassed one or two rl opinions and tried to step back from my instincts and look at the issue objectively - but still I can't honestly say if ibu or not. So, Mumsnetters, I ask:

AIBU to write a letter to my dc primary school outlining my strong objections to male members of staff dressing up in drag complete with enormous false bosoms (balloons) at for eg., the Christmas parties and last nights talent contest?

The character last night was meant to be "Jordan" and there was this man dressed in pink, baseball cap on, long dark wig, and two fucking balloons stuffed up his shirt.

AIBU to think this is sexist/cheap/ nasty/tacky and just thoroughly yuk at a primary school event?

Or am I an old fogey?

OP posts:
Stigaloid · 03/07/2009 14:00

Old fogey

Although it is crass kids won't mind - just think it is a parody and someone dressing up being silly - like a clown.

JoesMummy09 · 03/07/2009 14:01

Mintyy you are an old fogey but I don't think YABU.

I think it sounds a bit tacky and not really age appropriate for a primary school.

I must be an old fogey too

FairLadyRantALot · 03/07/2009 14:01

hmm...can see why you are having a hard time to decide if yabu or not...
will ponder about this for a while...because...am not sure if yabu or not, neither

TrinityRhino · 03/07/2009 14:02

total old foegy

it is crass but the kids will just see someone dressing up silly and being fun

JoesMummy09 · 03/07/2009 14:03

Panto dames ok. Jordan no.

I wouldn't write a letter, I would have a word with the head if they are approachable.

AandK · 03/07/2009 14:05

Maybe taking it too far writing a letter.

Some peoples sense of humours are different to others thats the way of the world unfortunately.

One of the teachers in my ds school dressed in drag as dorothy once and he's openly gay brings his husband to xmas fayres, plays etc

I think its a way of teahing diverdity and its ok to be who you are and show your personality

fizzpops · 03/07/2009 14:05

My first thought was as in panto which is fine imo, Jordan - not nice but at least no little girls will feel tempted to model themselves on her following that!

Merrylegs · 03/07/2009 14:08

Yes. Think I agree with Joesmummy. I would feel a bit if it happened in my kids' primary but I think it's more to do with the fact that a teacher is dressing up as Jordan in front of 5 year olds. It may go over their heads but I hate this assumption that we should all know about pointless celebrities and are exposed to them ubiquitously.

There. I think I am an old fogey too!

Writing a letter though? I don't know. I think I would just ask the teacher(s) concerned why they thought it was a good idea?

Original poster
Mintyy · 03/07/2009 14:10

Actually, there was no good reason for this tool to be in drag last night. He was a judge in the talent contest - it wasn't a play or a panto.

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 03/07/2009 14:11

Aw, Mintyy, know what you mean, but it is all in the fine old tradition of panto dames, just updated for these days.....

Rhubarb · 03/07/2009 14:12

No, I wouldn't like this. They are taking the piss out of someone for a start and ridiculing the notion of having large breasts. Would it have been ok for female staff to don Tarzan costumes and stick those long balloons down their loincloths?

It sounds bad taste to me.

AandK · 03/07/2009 14:14

Maybe that was his talent

MummyDragon · 03/07/2009 14:18

I'm going to come across as an ancient fogey then, coz I think YANBU at all. I don't think that dressing in "comedy" drag in front of 5-year-olds is appropriate at all. Exactly what kind of message was this teacher trying to convey??

I'm on the fence re. whether I might feel differently about the drag if the children were older and the costume was non-specific - i.e. nameless old crone etc. (Come to think of it, why would he dress up as a young woman with big boobs in front of young children???? Isn't that totally weird? Why not dress up as a sweet old granny in a cardie? - still funny but not remotely sexual).

But: dressing up as Jordan (or any sleb or civilian) is totally not on; young kids should not be taught to take the mickey out of individuals for laughs.

If I were in your shoes Mintyy I would be writing that letter, no question.

EyePeam · 03/07/2009 14:18

not sure if you're being U or not in terms of your reaction - but do think that writing to complain is a bit OTT and will only serve to mark you as an uptight / old fogey parent and may damage relations with the school? possibly not worth taking it that far. would just steam on it quietly and then let it go ....

Stretch · 03/07/2009 14:24

Agree with Rhubarb.

MildredRoper · 03/07/2009 14:32

I agree with you that this is not appropriate behaviour for all sorts of reasons.

However, I think if you complain you will probably just get branded as a member of the 'pc gorn maaaad brigade' or something.

It depends how strongly you feel about it really. I suppose if they were dressing up as some other kind of 'comedy' stereotype (a racial one for instance) we would all be telling you to complain.

Sorry, not being much help.

chegirl · 03/07/2009 14:38

Its not nice. I wouldnt like it. I am not sure a letter would be in order though. I think plenty of parents wouldnt mind and the kids wouldnt make the sexist/porn type connections.

That other one (the rival of Ms Price, her name escapes me) visited the ward where DD was once. The ward was for little ones up to 12 and I thought it was vile that she visited and I certainly didnt want her near my kid

Its not that I thought she was evil, I didnt think that a porn star visiting a children's ward was that appropriate s'all.

So YANBU for thinking it is rubbish. But I wouldnt bother with a letter because you will get looked at all

posiedullardparker · 03/07/2009 14:38

YANBU

Original poster
Mintyy · 03/07/2009 18:53

Bump for evening crowd.

So far (I think):

Old fogey = 5

Notbu = 9

But letter writing v definitely frowned on.
So am I supposed to seethe quietly?

I wish to express my feelings everybody. Do I really have to zip up and put up?

OP posts:
DisturbinglySexuallyInactive · 03/07/2009 18:54

old fogey

I think you are over-analysing this!

TheFool · 03/07/2009 19:08

Dames I would have no issue with, but can't really see the point in the random Jordan.

Not worth writing about though.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 03/07/2009 19:09

YANBU it feels all wrong for lots of reasons.

But I think it would be hard to put together a letter explaining why it's all wrong without sounding like a bit of a loon. There are so many reasons but each by itself sound a little trivial if you're not of that way of thinking, but all things taken together it is definitely nasty. For me the idea that it's basically taking the piss out of the (albeit ridiculously enhanced) female form is nasty.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 03/07/2009 19:21

YANBU

Being 'Jordan' is a bit distasteful in a primary school.

screamingabdab · 03/07/2009 19:24

YANBU and Merrylegs has explained why, so I won't do so again

bumptwitknocker · 03/07/2009 19:30

YABU. I love to see teachers dressed up as women. Teaching is well known as a very camp/drag profession. Especially in private schools. That's why I prefer home schooling, although I occasionally dress up as Gary Linekar to entertain my children at home talent shows...

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