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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stick anonymous note through neighbours door about BBQ?

29 replies

1dilemma · 02/07/2009 21:25

Ok I'm feeling cranky but fragile don't usually post here since I'm not brave enough!

Neighbours are on their 3rd BBQ of the week, it is about 3 feet from our back door, it smells like they are using petrol (whole house smells like a car is on fire), dcs rooms at back of house so windows are shut, back door is shut, washing is not out, dc sitting in chair crying because it is too hot to sleep.

Am I being unreasonable to stick polite but anonymous note through door asking them to burn sausages on grill in kitchen and eat in garden.

Living in London we are not partic. neighbourly, we rent and are looking to move ASAP, I could knock and ask but maybe the guy is prone to violence who knows, I don't want a dispute with the neighbours I just want to coexist happily, I figure you have to be a bit dumb not to think 3 bbqs in this weather in such a tiny space is out of line (or even wonder why it is so quiet in your garden and noone has door/window open or washing out because they do in the rest of the street)

SO AIBU?

OP posts:
cornsilk · 02/07/2009 21:26

It'll probably rain tomorrow - I'd leave it.

EyePeam · 02/07/2009 21:29

surely they'll know it's you? don't do it anonymously! you'll just wind them up.

smallchange · 02/07/2009 21:29

Tbh I think a note through the door would be more likely to annoy/cause problems than a quick knock and "your bbq is sending smoke into my house" (obv with the obligatory British sorry/would you mind/I hate to ask etc etc)

serin · 02/07/2009 21:32

YABU,

Have a BBQ yourself and invite them round, show them how to do it properly

I can't imagine living next door to people that I didn't know.

Original poster
1dilemma · 02/07/2009 21:35

welsome to London Serin!!

TBH there are maybe 8 gardens who could easily complain (all within a few feet all only a few feet long-we're on a corner)
I can't see how they'd know it's me they obv. havn't heard my rants about it or if they have they don't care.

Hoping for rain here cornsilk but I still need to dry my washing

OP posts:
PrincessToadstool · 02/07/2009 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

riddley · 02/07/2009 21:39

I'd just nip round, smile sweetly, introduce yourself, explain that it's a bit stinky (in a sweet and empathetic manner) and ask if they can give you 30 minutes warning next time so you can get your washing in.

...shit, I hope it's not us

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 02/07/2009 21:39

I think yabvvu.

It is very cheeky to tell someone what/ how to cook.

I also think you're a bit fussy tbh. I've left clothes on line when barbecue was going in next door or even in my own garden and it doesn't make any difference.

If I got an anonymous note asking me not to have a barbecue I'd be slightly freaked out.

IlanaK · 02/07/2009 21:39

We currently are in a flat with no garden so no BBQ. But when we lived in a house out of London years ago with a garden, we BBQ's at least every other night. We basically used our BBQ as a grill. It was just outside our kitchen door but this meant it was also not far from the fence which divided us from our neighbour. It was a gas BBQ so no petrol smells, but the food itself smelled and there was some smoke. We were good neighbours I think, but it would never have occured to us not to do it. And, even if we had a note through our door, we would not have stopped. It was a part of our life that we enjoyed.

We are in the process of moving to a place with a garden and will have a BBQ again and will probably use it a lot.

crokky · 02/07/2009 21:42

serin - just leave it. I can understand why it is annoying you, but IMO it isn't worth falling out about - because falling out with neighbours can be an almighty pain.

Mutt · 02/07/2009 21:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katiestar · 02/07/2009 21:45

YABU .I can understand why you are sick of it but you can't tell folks not to have a BBQ in their own back garden !!
Sending the note especially anonymously, will get their backs up and they'll do it all the more !

DesperateHousewifeToo · 02/07/2009 21:47

I hate it when our neighbours bbq. Luckily they don't do it very often.

I have to run around the house closing all the windows - which I do very loudly

I would never complain though, just gently steam behind closed doors (and windows)

londonartemis · 02/07/2009 21:54

I absolutely hate it when our neighbours light up. We lived next door to some New Zealanders at one point in London who bbqd every night in the summer. The smoke blew directly in, the clothes on the line needed rewashing. I was too big a coward to say anything to their faces, but I certainly muttered behind closed doors.

Buddleja · 02/07/2009 22:01

I think its part of the summer sadly I've done the mad dash to get the wash in when my neighbours light theirs (they had breakfast bbq the other day)

If you look on the plus side it means that the weathers good!!!

Also it must taste yuck if they are using petrol

I think putting a annoynmous note through is risky - if he's prone to viloence he could just take it into his head that it is you or wrongly someone else and make a bee line for them - not a good thing

If you are moving soon take grin and bear it

EyePeam · 02/07/2009 22:03

should say - I live in London and I know all my neighbours! there is no law that says you can't just because it's that there London.

2rebecca · 02/07/2009 22:10

UABU if it bothers you ask them to move BBQ further from your door if it's possible or see if they could use a different lighter. Summertime folk get noisier, barbecues, late night gangs of drunks coming down the street etc. If it's not illegal you just have to put up with alot of it, the cold rainy weather returns soon enough. Have your own barbecue.

SomeGuy · 02/07/2009 22:14

Buy them a pack of paraffin firelighters. THey don't smell.
A chimneys starter would be another alternative.

Original poster
1dilemma · 02/07/2009 22:22

umm we do BBQ sometimes but not 3 times a week

reading Pricesses post gave me an idea buy a hose and put it over the fence next time, then I thought why waste my money just call the fire brigade (and we have front windows open would open front door but we're virtually on high street)

I should say I am using 'garden' loosely what I really mean is 6 foot patch of concrete.

OP posts:
MissSunny · 03/07/2009 00:20

Message withdrawn

cheesesarnie · 03/07/2009 00:26

i think you are jealous because theyve not invited you

yabu if you stick a note through the door-bit bah humbug...this comes from a veggie who can smell dead animal most evenings atm.

EldonAve · 03/07/2009 21:44

why is your washing still out at 9.30?
DH would bbq everyday if he had his way

trixymalixy · 03/07/2009 22:09

YABU, we used to be able to smell our neighbours curry cooking smells in our house, could you imagine their response if we asked them not to cook curry?!?!?!?!?

It would be ludicrous of us to do so and ludicrous of you to ask them not to BBQ.

If washing is a problem then you could ask them to give prior warning so you can bring it in.

Hulababy · 03/07/2009 22:14

Hmmm. We have had 2 BQs this week and would have had another one tnight had we got back in time. I did warm my neighbours the first day as they had washing out.

I don't use petrol or anything though, just coals and matches, and a few herbs thrown in towards the end.

But TBH it is so rare we get decent enough weather -- this week I'd have been happy for our neighbours to have had one every night.

random · 03/07/2009 22:17

Only summer for a few days..live and let live and all that

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