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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to go out on the p1ss and leave my 11 week DD at home

27 replies

Roopoo · 02/07/2009 14:03

Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to go out and get drunk on Saturday night for my birthday leaving my DH and 11 week DD at home.

Bearing in mind Im still the size of a small elephant after giving birth have no appropriate clothes. Plus she is still sleeping in our room and have only recently got her sleeping through and don't want to disturb her when I come in. And I don't like the thought of leaving her when she is so little.

My friends (who are childless) and sister have told me to stop being so boring?? am I turning into a boring old woman!! Christ is it me or are they being unreasonable??

OP posts:
belgo · 02/07/2009 14:06

YANBU.

I hate this attitude that you have to drink to have a good time, that you have to leave your baby with someone else to enjoy yourself, and if you don't conform to that attitude you are labeled as boring.

Original poster
Roopoo · 02/07/2009 14:07

Thank You!!! Im glad someone sees my point!!! x

OP posts:
BlackLetterDay · 02/07/2009 14:08

No YANBU, your choice, lots of people don't feel ready to leave the baby until much later. I however cannot wait to have a good drink so horses for courses.

flowerybeanbag · 02/07/2009 14:09

Well I went out for a hen do when DS was 10 weeks, but it was a very close friend and disruption to DS was zero really. It was all about me missing him too much rather than anything else!

Having said that YANBU at all, I wouldn't at all have done that just for my birthday - close friends' hen nights are a one-off - and you are not being a boring old woman for not wanting to leave your tiny baby so you can go out to get drunk.

flowerybeanbag · 02/07/2009 14:10

You would also NBU if you did want to go. But not wanting to go is fine.

Original poster
Roopoo · 02/07/2009 14:11

BLD - Don't get me wrong I have enjoyed a glass of wine of an evening with hubby at home. Just can't think of anything worse than being stuck in a sweaty bar rammed full of people and missing my DD xx

OP posts:
melmog · 02/07/2009 14:11

yanbu.

It's up to you when you go out for the first time. I'd stay in with a couple of bottles of wine and dh if I were you.

Poledra · 02/07/2009 14:11

YANBU - do what you want and are comfortable with. FWIW, I haven't been out to get drunk since DD1 was born - 5.5 years ago!

belgo · 02/07/2009 14:12

I took dd1 to a hen night when she was 6 weeks old and to the wedding when she was 8 weeks. Needless to say they were heavy drinking nights out.

Hope you have a lovely birthday doing what you want to enjoy.

sarah293 · 02/07/2009 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

belgo · 02/07/2009 14:14

I mean they weren't heavy drinking nights out

TrillianAstrahasaJOB · 02/07/2009 14:17

It's your birthday therefore you get to decide what is fun and what is boring. If they want to go out they don't need to use you as an excuse.

MrsMattie · 02/07/2009 14:17

YANBU. It's totally up to YOU and how you feel.

I was definitely ready by then with both babies for a good old booze up, but each to their own. You aren't boring to go with your instincts.

Poledra · 02/07/2009 14:18

Actually, I took DD3 to a hen night in March this year - she was 7 months. I was driving though, so not drinking.

OrmIrian · 02/07/2009 14:21

Of course you aren't if that isn't what you want to do. IIRC I was the same although I find it hard to beleive now. And your mates should be more understanding.

Original poster
Roopoo · 02/07/2009 14:40

Thanks everyone. Never thought I would be turning my nose up at a night out. Don't think it helps that Im still wearing maternity jeans and the only shoes that fit are flip flops ha ha ha

OP posts:
JemL · 02/07/2009 14:43

YANBU If you aren't ready. It took much longer than 11 weeks before I went out for the evening. I twitched the whole time and kept losing the thread of conversations becuase I was distracted.

Aside from the whole just had a baby thing, I can't stand it when people who don't want to go out on the lash are automatically boring!

Boys2mam · 03/07/2009 20:54

Just picked this thread up now....

...YANBU - my DS is 10 months old and I have only been out a handful of times since he was born, mostly for a few drinks then home to enjoy the peace til 6am and our lovely wake-up call

P.s., 11 wks and sleeping though....make the most of that x

Firawla · 03/07/2009 21:17

no yanbu at all!!!

icedgemsrock · 03/07/2009 21:34

I still haven't been out without my ds and he's 1!! and i'm very happy not to go out.

wilkos · 03/07/2009 21:39

you arent being boring, they are.

big birthday piss up on a saturday night - how original

and you won't be the one with the hangover in the morning!

GabriellesMummy · 03/07/2009 21:56

Ive just joined mumsnet and have been reading this thread and am feeling pretty similar. My dd is just over 7 weeks and my dp's friend and girlfriend have asked us out for a night out at beginning of August - dd will be about 12 weeks old. My mum has offered to take her overnight to let us go out for the night - I've not really decided what to do yet, I'll miss her loads and loads if we do go out but I worry that if I dont let our families take turns of watching her (not always overnight) that, when she gets a bit bigger, she might not be able to go to anyone else - just me and her daddy.

not sure what everyone else thinks?!

thanks

icedgemsrock · 03/07/2009 22:00

I didn't leave ds with anyone till he was 11 months old.
I then left him in a creche, with people he'd never met before, whilst I did a course and he didn't cry once - not even a little bit!!
so gabrielle I wouldn't worry about that just do what you want to do.

sweetnitanitro · 03/07/2009 22:06

YANBU. My DD is 9 months and I still haven't felt like a proper night out. If you don't want to go then don't, you are certainly not boring and it's a bit childish of them to suggest you are.

TheProvincialLady · 03/07/2009 22:07

GabriellesMummy your DD couldn't learn anything from the experience at that age and for a long time yet, so basically it is up to you. I have to say that I would have been miserable at leaving my boys overnight and it would have spoiled any night out.

I think that your instinct is the way to go - if you think you will be unhappy then don't do it. There will be many many chances to do it later on and in fact you will get to the stage where you are desperate for it

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