To be genuinely worried that I won't love the new baby as much as I love dd?

[Pinkjenny]

I know this is natural, to a certain extent, but I was hoping that after my 12 week scan, I would feel a bit more excited and, well, emotionally attached to this baby.

I bought a pregnancy journal, as I have one that I wrote for dd, and I thought it would be mean not to do one this time, but I feel no enthusiasm about it at all.

I am sad for this new baby, because I remember how excited I was last time, and somehow I feel like it's already getting the short end of the stick. Everyone keeps telling me that I absolutely will love this baby as much, but I feel like deep down I won't.

I stick have quite bad morning sickness, and I think that is sucking some of the joy out of the experience. Also, because I'm an only, I have no concept of a sibling relationship at all, only ever having been number one

Am I vile?

That's lovely Ineedacleaner.

Almost everyone I know felt like this when they were pregnant with their second baby. Your relationship with you first baby is so intense and all encompassing, that it hard to imagine that there will be any room in your life for another person. We all know how hard it can be to give enough time and attention to dh's!

However, we do manage to do this. You will be very pleasantly surprised when dc2 arrives about how much easier everything will seem compared to first time around. You will still be very busy because looking after two young children is not easy, but you will not be on the steep learning curve that first borns bring.

As for having enough love to go around, well as everyone else has said, there is plenty of that. My dh helped me when dd2 was born by giving dd1 special trips out. This was great for both of them. dd1 enjoyed her trips to the zoo and spending one on one time with her dad. It was also good for dh.

not vile - normal!

I felt the same - its like i felt guilty for loving the new baby. I coudlnt believe that i would love her as much as i love DD1. This was exacerbated by a huge age gap. The way you feel about your children changes as they get older. When DD1 was born i loved her so much, instantly - it knocked me for six. I was very young and a single mum. With DD2, 15 years later i loved her, but i did think it was less intense. I was probably prepared more emotionally. The overpowering love took a couple of days to kick in if im honest.

Don't worry, you'll love your new baby just as much - i promise!

Please don't worry! When I went into labour with my second I left my then 3 year old asleep in his cot, I felt like I was betraying him in the worst possible way by leaving him to wake up without me. Everything will fall into place!

Awww PJ - I clicked because I feel exactly the same. I just can't get my head round being able to have the emotional energy to love another one as much as I do dd.

Am off to read the, no doubt, helpful replies

You will love this child just as much, but it might not be the same sort of love.

I have four DCs - I love them with equal intensity, but differently, because they have four such different personalities. I love DS1's laidbackness, DD's fieryness, DS2's eccentricity, DS3's determination etc etc - what I mean is that you won't be getting a replica of your DD, you're getting a whole different person.