to think that being "sexual" in front of dc is wrong

[happydaisy]

Picture this scene. I'm getting dressed and DH turns to DS (8) and says, "hasn't Mummy got a lovely body". I throw him a "stop talking like that in front of the kids" look and he says "no, I'm not being like that, I just think you have". On the one hand, lovely comment, on the other hand, odd that he should be asking the question of DS. Should I be concerned??

I would find it a bit odd, but (I think) because

(a) I don't think that 8 year old boys should have particularly strong opinions on whether women have lovely bodies. Or perhaps I don't think that 8 year old boys should be encouraged to think that they ought to have strong opinions on whether women have lovely bodies.
(b) In context, your husband is asking your son whether you are sexually attractive, and that would weird me out a bit whether the son was 8 or 38.

If your husband had said to you "you have a lovely body" then I think that would be entirely appropriate and non-weird.

thank you for all comments - gratefully received. Truth is - I'm in a bit of a mess at the moment and trying to get some reality checks going on in my life.

I know his compliments are good (I do think its a bit wierd in front of ds) but he only ever compliments on my body (bum, boobs and legs mainly). wherethewildthingsare I did start a thread about abuse because he gets very angry with ds and dd and I wanted to see what you all thought of him doing this and whether it was "normal" for dhs to be like this with kids.

I didn't have a great time over the weekend because of our argument on Sat night and I am off work today with a stinking cold. I'm really not sure what to do next.

It's good to get your thoughts and the funny comments do make me laugh and cheer me up. Please don't get me wrong though - I'm just another fucked messed up woman...

So the only positive stuff you get from your H are about your looks, and then only your body.
You need to spend time with him so he can find out all the other stuff he fell in love with is still there too.

i'm sure they're must be other things he is positive about but i can't think of any. he finds a problem with most things and never really seems to be happy or relaxed. i just get the impression that he doesn't really want to be married or have kids. he never suggests going out together and i've tried to get him interested in doing things but i now have a separate social life cos i can't stand just sitting and watching TV every night.

It's not sexual to say someone has a lovely body is it?

I am always telling DS he has a beautiful body. I want him to love himself and his body and not grow up with the selfconscious hang-up I have.

YANBU. I'd feel uncomfortable with this too. To me that comment has sexual undertones, thus wouldn't be appropriate to say it in from of dc.

I mean "in front"

Yanbu, I would feel quite uncomfortable. It is encouraging your son to look at your body in an admiring way which makes me wince a little