to find it very hard to post on threads

[2shoes]

if I don't mention dd's sn......
for example the tve thread, I could have explained that they had tv's in their bedrooms, as dd has sn ans ds need some where he could watch a tv in peace, and as she has severe cp she can't do much.
but since I was told last week that mentioning the fact that your dd has severe sn is "trumping"
so wtf do you do???

*now

some people are just nasty. ignore. ive got a son with AS and i often refer to it if its relevant. its just an example of someone else being small minded and pathetic. im finding on MN it takes all sorts.....

What the hell is trumping? And what a load of bollocks. As others have said, quite apart from the fact that these people should toss off, it is important that people like you and Riven and others post because a lot of us don't encounter anyone with sn and we should be aware of these things. Not that that's the only reason you should post and that's not all you should post about 'cos your children are children firstly and sn secondly and but oh fark, you know what I mean, I hope

O dear, that is very sad on so many levels. There is a big difference between someone saying, o well you can't disagree with me because I've suffered X, Y Z or my children have and shedding light on your response by reference to yours and your children's circumstances!

Surely this is the whole point of a forum like this, that we can share and learn from other people's experiences? And to do that, you have to share what those experiences are.

So I agree you should just ignore and carry on as you were

2 shoes that's awful - poor you. Ignore the ignorant fool and post as you always have.

lol at Starlight shutting them up

I always like your posts
There are some very odd people around, ignore the stupid woman.

That's really shit 2shoes

i missed that one

So you're not supposed to talk about your life because it's out of someone else's comfort zone and, god forbid, challenges their prejudices?

I think possibly for those of us without direct personal experience of SN, even those of us who aim or need to have a decent level of knowledge/empathy/understanding of the issues (thinking of myself and need to be knowledgeable and inclusive for work - one of my schools is SLD) it is difficult to think all the time about all those occasions where a situation is totally altered by the fact that a child has SN. Therefore, it is a little making to be reminded that it's a whole different ball game for many parents.

If I posted ignorantly about soemthing and you came along with the SN perspective I'd feel a twat, and rightly so. My reaction could range from apologetic to defensive and I'm sure many understanding and intelligent posters might feel the same and would therefore be at risk of responding negatively at the time.

I think you should post intuitively and let the rest of us deal with it, badly or otherwise!

Great post hobbgoblin

I can't believe that someone would say such an awful thing, as if life isn't difficult enough. Sounds like sour grapes to me and I don't think any of you should give it another thought.

Well LG, if it were me, the reason would be mortification at my own ignorant blundersomeness! I probably would just say, 'oops, sorry' but sometimes embarrassment and pride just get in the way, don't they?

thanks fols I will now mention her when I need too, or want to

Ignore them 2 shoes-there are some very odd people about! I think you have to mention it. I am one of the 'over my dead body will you have a TV in your room' people but I hadn't thought of it from your point of view which puts a different slant on it entirely and , yes, there are people who would benefit from it. Unfortunately there are always people telling you what you should or shouldn't post-or even that you shouldn't cast an opinion at all!

2shoes
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. "trumping" - thats ridiculous - you were explaining your own situation, which is nobody elses business. I'm sorry. Have a very un-mn hug

I do think that on MN people can be a little bit OTT sometimes. Disagreeing with opinions is fine, but sometimes people can really go to town on other styles of parenting. Piscesmoon is right.

NOt that having a child with SN is a different type of parenting. Oh rubbish, I cant explain myself properly! I mean not in the SN context, just generally on MN

Ignore the stupid twat who made that comment.

I am crap with names and remembering things and I need people to give me all the info. I'm very nosey too so will click on your profile but unless it tells me about any sn's I wouldn't know. (btw, Kiefer in the lost boys.... mmmmmm)

And anyway. I'd put a telly in every room in the house if it meant I'd get an extra hour sleep.

It's making me wary also I think

It'slike this government thing about fining parents of destructive kids- normally there'd be an MN thread and i'd explain it from our POV (ie SN) just to give an opposing perspective

But I can't now really, or at least I feel I cannot

In RL I tried at baby group not to mention ds4 has two disabled brothers, and I found it really felt disloyal, as if I was hiding a big part of their life from people. It's also hiding a big part of my life also- apart from the carer thing (do you work? no? aren't you lucky, I do envy you etc...) a lot of arising ds4 is linked to our concerns over whetehr he will also developa sd; hence the special diets etc- I now if I say he doesn't have gluten so can't eat that biscuit and they start telling me about their brothers coeliac and I explain why, it makes people feel uncomfy: neither do I want to lie and nod along. I don't have a coeliac child, I don't have that particular fear.

So 2shoes YANBU

Didn't see the thread - it sounds horrible. I suppose if there was a thread about TVs in rooms and I said, as I usually do, "over my dead body" and someone challenged me about it and I put my arguments against and 10 posts down the line they said for the first time "well, my child has special needs so it's different" I might be a bit upset because I had been insensitive without knowing it - and I might suspect they had done it on purpose. Like the AIBU by stealth that's so annoying!

But talking about a subject from the point of view of a parent of a child with special needs is, I hope, helpful for that parent, and enlightening for people not in that position.

Carry on doing it!