in keeping ds1 off of school for a third day unless i can get an appt with head and class teacher?

[TheLadyEvenstar]

This is the same teacher who seems to revel in intimidating ds1. the latest thing is that she has told him she is sending a "Bad report to his secondary school". he is genuinly upset and tbh i cannot be bothered with fighting with him to get him to school iyswim?

She has her favourite pupils and for some reason he is not one of them...she takes every childs word against his and when he tries to explain what has really happened she shouts at him every time "Don't you dare lie to me" and then walks away without listening.

I never really realised the extent to which she was doing this until yesterday when he broke down and told me "Mummy it doesn't matter what I say she never believes me"

So now I am trying to get an appointment with the headteacher and the class teacher and am not sending him into school until I do AIBU?

[GetOrfMoiLand]

She sounds like an utter disgrace. Have you had any luck with seeing the head teacher?

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Getorf, the head won't deal with it at all she sent me to the class teacher. Who as you can see is a total nightmare, I had to remind her twice I was not a pupil so don't talk to me like I am.

[OrmIrian]

Wow! He's bright. Do you think the picking on him might be a misguided attempt to push him as he is a star pupil academically? However whatever her motivation she is a cow and not doing him any good at all. And IME teachers in secondary are not bullying at all. DS#1 has a lovely bunch of teachers.

[cheesesarnie]

i would phone back the head and demand-not ask for a meeting.say you are not getting anywhere with this 'teacher' and that you demand that you be taken seriously.

am for you!and those scratches are horrible.id print out pic of that to take in too incase it fades before meeting.you are completly right to keep him off!poor boy!

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Orm, maybe you are right but i hate the way she is being with him. He has been in G&T for litracey and reading since he was 6 and science since he was 8, but he is still a little boy! he has also had a poem and a 50 word short story published. (ok proud mummy smiley)

I told her I do not send him to school to feel imtimidated by her or any other member of staff. she said well this is something we have to address.

[smartiejake]

So what she is actually saying re SATs results is that he made her/ the school look bad as he didn't get the level she had predicted.

FYI most secondary schools do their own assessments when children start year 7 so SATs are fairly pointless. On another note-if he does find a teacher or two at secondary school who he doesn't get on with (and that happens to many children- even well behaved ones), at least he won't have to spend all day every day with her/ him!

I really would just take him out of school for the final 3 weeks- he's hardly going to miss much at the end of year 6 at this time of year!

[sb6699]

Hope your response - teachers shouldnt be intimidating to children regardless of their age.

I really would insist on a meeting which included the Head.

Have you spoken with the Governors or LEA regarding the situation.

I would be appalled if this woman was teaching my ds.

[posieparker]

If you can keep him off couldn't you attend school with him? Or would that make him stand out even more.

I would tell the Head that you're going to bring in the LEA, Ofsted and local press.

[bruffin]

At least at secondary he won't have to put up with the same teacher all day and every day.

you need to make an official complaint through head and governers, so at least if she does it to another child its on record that she has done it before.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Can I borrow all you ladies to come and sort her out for me please?????? I am worn out with it all.

[shouldbeironing]

Think at this stage you need to write to the Head and copy people in. No point in calling if they are going to treat you like this.

Keep to the facts - explain why you are keeping him off school - include incidents (and say he was punished for these - whilst to your knowledge other children were not punished for their involvement) and pictures of the scratches. Explain that the teacher rang and refused to take you seriously and hence you have had to write.

Say that DS may have misunderstood but feels this teacher threatened to send his new school a bad report - ask whether there is any basis to this.

If you send a letter you will cover yourself/DS for missing school and your version of events will be on the table if it is needed. Conversations have a habit of being misreported - that teacher is probably going back to the head saying how unco-operative you were.

Your alternative really is just to sit it out and move on and hope it doesnt affect him at his next school - at least there isnt long till the end of the term.

[TheLadyEvenstar]

Oh I mentioned her telling him she was sending a bad report..

her answer?

"Oh I can't remember, it had been a long day and I cannot remember the end of the day.

[cory]

You Must insist on seeing the head.

write as shouldbeironing says, copy other people in, she has to see you; threaten with the LEA and Ofsted

[OrmIrian]

"she said well this is something we have to address."

No it is something she has to address!

I would be so tempted to take him out for the last few weeks. And then next year will be a whole new start. Is he looking forward to secondary?

[GetOrfMoiLand]

She is a disgrace. I agree with other posters above that you shouldwrite to the head, chair of governors and the LEA.

Bloody hell it would be easier to just say sod it and take him out of school for 3 weeks, but don't think the teacher should get away with her behaviour. The way she speaks to you as well is appalling, patronising cow.

[sobloodystupid]

HT must get involved. If you are faffed off again, youu could contact the EWO yourself and express concern that because of school's inaction and this teacher, your ds is being forced to miss school. Nothing like one official talking to another to speed things up.

[posieparker]

Lady... Give me the schools number and I will call them for you.
Whilst you're waiting please tell me you've called Ofsted and LEA...what have you got to lose?

[TheLadyEvenstar]

I have had a chat with Karl and he has begged me to let him go back to school he doesn't want to miss the last few weeks as there is some plans for them. One of them being working with an author as from monday. And he is looking forward to that. Have told him I will but the first time he feels she is at him then he is to go to the office and tell ask them to call me.

[posieparker]

Do you work?

[OrmIrian]

He is a trooper! Good on him. Whatever comes out of this you should be very proud of your lad evenstar.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Bless him. I hope this whole thing has not put him off going to senior school. Is such a shame, the end of junior school and going to 'big' school is such a lovely time (or should be) for you and him, and it is such a shame it is being spoiled.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

He's a brave chap wanting to go back. good for hime.

any chance of contacting the school governors with an official complaint?

[muppetgirl]

Hi Tles x

Did you manage to keep that diary of events that happen at school that you're not happy with that I suggested? This will help you in pin pointing exactly what was said (from Karl's pov I understand and not a balanced view), when and how often? We've chatted about this before and I'm really sorry it's still happening... you need evidence to back up what you are saying and it shows the school you are taking this issue seriously.

I would

1. Now insist on speaking to the Head about what has happened this term, phone the school and ask for an app.(sorr if this has been done)

1. Show them the diary of what has happened, when, how often etc.

1. Ask them what they think and what can be done.

1. Take notes so the head can't dispute what was said. (could get them signed by both of you or take an impartial witness)

1. Decide on a plan of action and dates as to when things need to be done/discussed/decided etc.

1. If you're still not satisfied then write to the Chairman of the Govenors as they employ the Head and the staff. CC the Head into the letter as this also shows them you are serious.

Keep everything factual and detail how it made Karl feel and how it effects how he feels about school.

Good luck!

[muppetgirl]

I would also note down how you've tried to contact the school, how often, what was said etc. The Governors will be interested to know how you've found things difficult to talk to the Head about your concerns.

[MadameCastafiore]

I still can't believe that you are still spending time typing on here about this - get down the school and demand to see the Head there and then, take your DH/DP with you and a list of the things you want addressed - stick up for him but in a pro-active way, face to face.

My philisophy in life is to not spend time whinging about something you can change with a bit of direct action.

Take him in first thing Monday and speak to the Head because if you just send him in without addressing the problems first you are actually saying that you have kept him off to make a stand which you haven't actually made!