to only do playdates if I already know the parent and child involved?

[Greensleeves]

I hadn't really noticed that I WAS doing this, as we know a fair few children outside school and we are quite busy in various ways

but I went on a school trip with ds1 (Yr1) yesterday and he was telling a little boy about some game he's got, and the other boy seemed really interested - I said "Perhaps we could ask XX's mummy if he could come to our house and play with it?"

and then promptly my insides curdled at the thought of having to approach a mother I don't know, and walk home a child I don't know, and have them playing/eating at our house when I'm not sure of the child or the parent [pathetic]

are my children definitely losing out because of this? They do see a lot of other children outside school, honest - it's just that they are all families we know

I had thought I was doing fairly well at providing a social infrastructure and contact with other people, because my own childhood was very insular and we never had friends over.

And I always offer my DD something to eat (only bread and butter ... not 3 course fine dining) if she's been at a friend's as know children (mine particularly) can be very picky and that is my problem not other child's parents.

Hi
DC1 is about to finish nursery, and go to primary. what I do for playdates with children I don't know, but whom DC1 has invited over (!) is I leave a note for the mum/dad saying if they would like to come over with their child/ren then just to give me a call. Then subsequent play dates the parent usually either drops them off or I pick the child up at nursery. Never had a playdate without the parents at least seeing me and my home first, and wouldn't be keen on that happening with DC1 either.

As for the sleepover thing, DC1 is always telling other children they can come round for a sleepover. And when I pick him up from nursery I usually have one or more little boys either asking to come over, or asking if DC1 can go to their house that night. I know realistically it's not going to happen!
Donna

I can assure you that a few years/ children on you're merrily slinging your kids at whatever lovely person offers to have them for a couple of hours...

i can second motherinferior's comment. my dh blagged an after school playdate for dd3 last friday so we could go out. halfway through the evening the playdate turned into a sleepover (which we had been secretly hoping for) and on Saturday morning dh had to phone to find out where to collect her from since I knew they had moved house recently but didn't know where to. it gets easier as your children get older and more numerous (and your desire for time off increases)

YANBU to not really want to do it, but if you can bear to, I think it does help with friendships, in that the parents get to notice you and remember to invite you and your dc to things, as well as bonding between the children.

My dc don't eat sausages or chicken nuggets. Two don't eat fish either. Just to make life harder for tea invitations .

YANBU to be nervous about it. DD starts school in Sep and so far we only do playdates with families we know. Unfortunately, none of those dc will be at school together.

I am assuming that from reception on, I will no longer be coercing dd to befriend the dcs of my friends and will have to do the real playdate thing. I am not shy but I do find the schoolgate-mums-playdate scenario very daunting. I will be guided by dd's requests (within limits).