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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to complain about either/both of these issues with DDs teacher.? (sorry long)

53 replies

katiestar · 23/06/2009 23:37

The first one is that her class are in a portacabin on the school field.It is SO HOT.My DD had what seemed to be a water infection last Thursday and I told her teacher that I was taking her to the doctor to get an antibiotic but I wanted her to drink plenty of water.Anyway they had an hours PE lesson and soon after they got out and started running about DD asked if she could have a drink.The teacher said no the rule is that they can only have a drink at playtime.
Anyway last night her waterworks seemed to be no better and she was getting twinges in her kidney I made another doctors appointment and told the teacher all about her symptoms and said she needed to drink plenty.
When I went to pick her up it was just like a wall.DD looked really pale ,her lips were dried and cracked and she was in much more pain from her kidney.
She downed nearly a pint of water 'in ome'.The doctor diagnosed a kidney infection at once and she has given her another antibiotic.She commented on how dehydrated DD seemed .
I don't think it is reasonable to expect a child to wait until the next playtime for a drink in hot weather -let alone a child who has a UTI.I really don't want to send her tomorrow
The second thing is a boy who is her cousin , is raelly rough to her at school.Today he chased after her and stung her arm with a nettle (held in a leaf.When she showed the teacher she said 'please don't sting people X'That was it.Its not the first time he has stung her and last week he bounced a basket pall on her head and threw a stone at her.He is always telling her he hates her too.Again AIBU to expect there to be a consequence to deliberately stinging a child ? DD is 7 BTW

OP posts:
Stigaloid · 24/06/2009 11:15

Am sorry your DD is suffering with UTI and bullying. I would keep her at home for a bit untl the UTI clears up but also put it in writing to the school that she needs extra water with her condition. If she were diabetic and needed extra snacks they would not stop her, if she needs the water she needs the water.

As for the bullying - if he is her cousin then go round to his parents house, tell them what is happening and make them put a stop to it.

Stigaloid · 24/06/2009 11:16

ah sorry - think we posted at same time.

You shouldn't care what SIL thinks - if her son is bullying your daughter then you need to speak up on her behalf.

bigchris · 24/06/2009 11:23

I know it is a pain when they are off school a lot with one thing and another but for a kidney infection I'd keep her off. They are hideous enough for adults and I've been off work with them. Your nephew sounds a pita , hope it gets sorted soon xxx

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 24/06/2009 11:30

What is is with some teachers? DD isn't allowed to go to the loo whenever she needs too so doesn't drink enough to make sure she can wait until she gets home.

Her teacher is a newly qualified and lots of us are so happy she is leaving at the end of term. God help the parents who get her as their teacher.

throckenholt · 24/06/2009 11:50

I guess it can be disruptive if kid are always getting up to go to the loo or get a drink - and some I guess will mess around and waste time. But that isn't a reason to not allow it - it just needs to be managed and the kids have to understand they only do it when they need it.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 24/06/2009 12:53

I hear you but DD would never make a fuss and she needs to go when she needs to go. She also isn't always good at emptying fully so might need to go again a few minutes later but she is only 5 and the youngest in the class.

Original poster
katiestar · 24/06/2009 13:53

FabBaker Girl- am really sorry to hear about your DDs experience my DS1 goes to school with a 14 yr old girl who has permanant kidney damage because she had to 'hold on' too long when she was at primary school.

OP posts:
Original poster
katiestar · 24/06/2009 18:18

Well I emailed the school at 9 this morning and they haven't bothered to reply.
I am maybe a bit PMTish but I'm feeling really low and sad.I have had 2 previous children through the school but since the new HT has come things seem to have deteriorated.maybe I am being Precious but I just want DD to be happy safe and well at school.

OP posts:
treedelivery · 24/06/2009 19:20

FabBakerGirlIsBack - that is crappy for your dd. I hope new teacher will be more accomodating of others 'imperfections'. She has clearly never needed a wee at a less than ideal time herself, must be great being perfect

We put such high high ecpectations on kids, whilst allowing ourselves any luxury

Katiestar - bit crappy you haven't even had an ackowledgement but hopfully tomorrow. Not going all out to impress you are they? Maybe they aren't alerted when an email arrives and only check them now and again.

Ring tomorrow and ask them to check their emails and reply at their earliest convenience.

treedelivery · 24/06/2009 19:21

Oh - and how is dd - sorry!

londonone · 24/06/2009 19:44

The teacher should definitely have let her go due to medical need but you should also have put it in writig to begin with.

As for this idea that children are all going to keel over and die if they don't continuously sip water it is frankly ridiculous. The continual presence of water bottles is very disruptive to be honest, not to mentin the increased toilet trips that it causes. Primary children (not talking foundation here) have a break approximately every hour and half or so, often more frequently. They do not dehydrate in that hour if they take the ooportunity to have a drink during their non lesson time except in exceptionally hot conditions. However they often don't want to sopend their play getting a drink they would rather play football etc and so they come back all hot and bothered, as they get older they need to take responsibility for their own welfare.

Before you all jump on me I am NOT talking about the little ones, children with medical issues or exceptionally hot days in portacabins etc I am talking about this ridiculous idea that has taken hold (not least due to the braingym scam) that children need constant rehydration and can't be expected to remember to have a drink at break.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 24/06/2009 19:57

I can't be bothered to answer that tbh.

londonone · 24/06/2009 20:02

Great attitude. Perhaps you need to post on PEAWM (Please Everyone Agree With Me).

nappyaddict · 24/06/2009 20:07

It's actually beneficial though to sip water throughout the day because that is the easiest way to get your daily amount. Most adults are allowed to get a drink of water at work or go to the toilet whenever they want within reason so why shouldn't children?

londonone · 24/06/2009 20:09

They are allowed within reason. Children spend a very small proportion of their day actually in lessons.

londonone · 24/06/2009 20:12

fabbaker - I mistakenly assumed you were the OP, as you are not I REALLY can't see the point of your post.

nappyaddict · 24/06/2009 20:16

But at work if you need to go to the toilet you can unless you are in a meeting or dealing with a customer. You aren't forced to wait until a specified time.

londonone · 24/06/2009 20:17

Not if you're a teacher! And if you read my post it is actually the endless water consumption that I have a problem with rather than the toilet going!

nappyaddict · 24/06/2009 20:24

That's a fair point. I still think primary aged children should be cut a bit more slack than adults though.

hocuspontas · 24/06/2009 20:24

Has the teacher actually told you about only drinking at playtime? This doesn't sound right. Children sometimes muddle up things they've heard that's all.

The bullying is more difficult. As they are related the school may think they do this all the time out of school and are not taking it as seriously as they should. I would definitely speak to the family. Imagine if they are called in - wouldn't they think you a bit odd for not mentioning it in the first place?

toddlerama · 24/06/2009 20:24

Keep her off. I have a water infection at the moment and I'm finding hard to remember to drink enough at home (and then deeply regretting it every 20 mins or so when I go to the loo!).

As for constant sipping not being necessary in a a healthy child, maybe it's not essential. However, if it is beneficial, why not? How disruptive is a water bottle once the novelty wears off? I teach singing and obviously I have to let them drink, but I can't see how it would be a problem for any teacher?

Kimi · 24/06/2009 20:31

Keep her home.
Talk to the head about the water, DS2s school they all have water bottles that stay on there desks and they can refill them anytime.

nappyaddict · 24/06/2009 20:31

Also if we start to drink too little water then our thirst mechanism resets itself at a lower level so our body doesn't actually crave water when it should meaning we drink even less. It's a bit of a vicious circle which is why it's important to make sure we do drink the recommended amount of water each day.

OK as a working adult we may not be able to constantly sip water all day, but I bet most are able to sip it more often than every 1.5 hours. I'm not sure if you'd be able to if you worked in shop though for instance.

throckenholt · 25/06/2009 07:27

with my own kids (6 and 7 ) - they forget to drink. I tell them every morning when I leave them at school - but still they forget to drink. They know the bottles are in the room - but they forget. It would be great if before they are allowed out to play and maybe when they come back in they are reminded - two things - have a drink and go to the toilet (that gets forgotten too !).

If all infants schools had that routine then by junior age the kids would do routinely and there wouldn't be a problem.

bloss · 25/06/2009 08:35

Message withdrawn

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