To be angry with DH

[islandlassie]

I will try and be quick.

I have looked after DS today as usual and he went to work, DS is ill and at only 8 months old deals with it by crying, whining and being VERY clingy.

DH comes back from work and goes for a two hour run as he is training for a marathon so i cook dinner ( I always do)

Mess such as pans happen and we do not have a dishwasher so there were plates and pans lying around the kitchen after we had finished, I asked DH if he would do the dishes as i was putting the wee one to bed and then had to do a couple of hours studying at which point DH blurts out 'NO! Why should i do it?' Very angry

He is a NEAT FREAK and is not happy unless the house doesnot look lived in (nothing out of place) I on the other hand am 19 and was always very messy before but nnow making a concious effort to tidy and doing ok i think. House is not too bad in my opinion, i have swept and tidied but the wee one pulls things down and not everything iss put away and there is a pile of washing beside the washing machine to do.

Now AIBU to think he should gimme a break and just do the dishes. Its my job but i have to study tonight and am already tired. His argument is that when he does the cooking he tidies along the way (but the few times he has cooked he has made only a fliping stirfry so not exactly messy)

AIBU to be angry?

YANBU. With me and my DH. The agreement was that I would cook and he would sort out the washing up. I didn't care that we had a dishwasher when we moved as long as I didn't have to deal with the dishes etc.

IMO, you could either do the dishes tonight and have a little less study time. That way you could get him to cook something really messy like a sunday lunch. I would like to see him tidy as he goes with this as I time it all so it is ready to be served at the same time. As such it is all needed until the last minute at which point you cant do the dishes as the food will get cold.

Option 2 would be to cook him easy meals like his stir fry for example then clean the dishes.

Option 3 would be to swap positions. He becomes the stay at home parent while you go out to work. He can then look after your ds all day while you work. Then some more while you do something you want to do (as it was his choice to do the marathon), then he can cook for you all, clean up after and settle your ds. Since he seems to think his job and running is far more work, he shouldn't have a problem with this arangement.