Sorry this is long, but I really need to clear things up in my head before I make a major decision.
I have been trying to have it recognised for nearly three years now that my DS has been verbally bullied. He is an effervescant boy who doesn't present himself as an obviously bullied child, but he has been very unhappy on and off for a long time. The school have implied that he is being manipulative and attention seeking, and he is indeed a very difficult child to manage. But in my heart I have felt that no child goes th this extent to make themself unhappy.
I am not very confidant myself and have really struggled with confronting the issue, and I am massively at fault for this.
The school says the right things but I have been increasingly concerned that we are not being taken seriously and their bullying policy is good on paper but not put into practice. they are losing a lot of pupils for various reasons, and a friend has suggested I become a governor to try and change things but with ill health, a job, a broken marriage and a child with emotional issues, I think I would be taking on too much. As much as I recognise that soemthing needs to be done.
He recently received a letter from a female friend who stated that she was sorry he was been picked on and that it was not fair that he was the only one they ('the boys') picked on.
When I discussed this with the headmistress (who is 'lovely' to talk to), she shrugged and said a child had recently left that had regularly complained that our DS was bullying him. (especially since september)
NOTHING had ever been said, and I approached the mother who confirmed this was one of the reasons, but not the only one, she had removed her child from the school.
I have spoken to DS who has admitted some of his behaviour was out of line but that the teachers had again NEVER dealt with him about it.
The other mum thought we had been spoken to and done nothing about it.
So DS (leaving this term for secondary school) has possible been consistantly bullied for years with me struggling to get any notice taken, and has himself become a bully.
DD is 6. She has friends but is not all that happy at the school.
The grandmother of one of her friends uses foul language in front of my DS's and one of the other mothers of one of D'Ds friends has been noticeably under the influence of drink when I have picked my DD up.
But it will be a wrench to her nonetheless. The village school is much easier to get her to. I don't drive and it will complicate my day to have to get her to the other school, but I just don't want her there in an environment where my DS has both been, and become a bully. For all his faults...he was never guilty of this before, he is just very challenging.
The lunch time supervisors are not very helpful IMO, and there are so many issues that I have seen and felt were wrong but am honestly a bit of a wimp, thinking I would make things worse by making an issue of them.
The school DD's Dad and I are looking at is reputedly completely different and has similar ethics to mine,
I want DD to be happy, but fear for her going through a school that has dealt so badly with DS.
The school DC's also now know that H and I have unofficially split up and have cited this as a cause for DS's overall behaviour, and I do not deny in any way that this also has a massive impact on DC's, but the two issues also need dealing with separately