To be annoyed that DH has done the ironing 'for me'

[BettySwollux]

We have an agreement thay DH irons DC clothes while I bath DS2, he's not keen on bathtime, I hate ironing, so seemed a good solution all round.

Tonight he said, "I've done the ironing for you".
I said, no you havent done it for 'me', youve just 'done it' period. There was none of my clothes in the ironing pile, if you've done it for anyone its the DSs, and I didnt say "im just off to bath DS2 for you", "ive swept the floor for you and washed the dishes for you".
This is supposed to be his job, and while I really appreciate the help, saying that he has done it 'for me' just gets on my tits a bit.

I do jobs without pointing them out, but he seems to feel the need to say 'Ive done x,y and z'
So.........should I buy him a star chart or AIBU?

Get him a star chart. He patronises you, patronise him right back

BTW...YANBU

Neither are you alone! DH regularly washes my floors, hoovers for me and 'has' the children so I can pop to Tescos...

YANBU, especially as ironing is Men's Work anyway. It takes far too much upper body strength for a woman to do it and remain properly fragile and feminine.

I don't think dh has ironed his shirts more than three or four times since we got married. But every time I do them he says, "thank you for doing me shirts 'for me'" which always makes me feel like I've done him a big favour rather than just more housework.

YANBU

However, I would faint clean away if I ever saw DP with an iron in his hand

my dh is a clean freak always tiding/cleaning and hoovering

dh does most of the cooking too

my job (in the home) is caring for the clothes (washing, drying, ironing) dh does the rest along with the cleaner

Snigger. Reminds me of a birthday card I saw recently which showed a man standing next to a Hoover, arms raised triumphantly and a caption which read, "John turned off the vacuum and waited for his medal".

Oh I hate that 'for you' thing (not that my DH can iron shirts, but he does do shopping and some other stuff). And worse is that if I show it irks me he's liable to get huffy.

But my dear old dad used to simply and quietly do the shopping and the laundry because those were the housedold tasks he took on when mum went back to work. I think my brothers have inherited from him the ability to do ironing/cooking without needing special recognition.

Where did you see that card mrsrawlinson?? DH's birthday is coming up...

Same as me Kiddiz!

I know not all men are like this but he really does seem like one hell of a lot of them are

I have no idea why my husband needs to point out every little thing he has done (e.g. washed up his OWN lunch dishes - he works from home) or needs to be done. The one comment guaranteed to get a raging response from me is "the bin needs emptying".

Admittedly DH does work long hours but I do have a job outside the home too (p/t science teacher). He would literally be unbearable if I didn't work outside the home at all.

Who cares, as long as the bloody ironing is done by someone else?

This thread is all very Anne Oakley...

What about trying to see past the language to hear what he is saying - He just wants you to recognise that he is trying to make life a bit easier for you.

People wonder why relationships go down the pan. It's because we are all so busy defending our corners that we destroy them.

So what, he said "for you". He was simply telling you he had done what you agreed.

(Oh, and I've got a degree in Social Studies, I know that what I have posted goes directly against what I studied for 3 years - it was rubbish then, it is rubbish now.)

I'm with the "fainting if I ever saw DP with an iron in his hand" brigade.

Fuzzy " And I'll say it again, there are excpetions to the rule, perhaps your friends are that excepetion, it's just a shame they couldn't find a decent childminder."

They have. It is called nursery and they are incredibly happy with it and their son is loving it.

Ooops sorry - wrong thread

Bettymum, unfortunately the dreaded Baby Brain has zapped my capacity to remember pretty much anything (DTs are now used to being addressed as 'Boy' and 'Girl') but the chances are it was probably either Tesco's or Clinton's. It was one of those Odd Squad type ones. HTH.

"The bin needs emptying". That's one of my DH's too. Dontcha just love 'em?!

The bin needs emptying is one of my dh's favourites as well, and putting a new loo roll in the loo but not actually on the holder - on the floor or on the shelf, yes, but the workings of the holder mechanism has obviously defeated him.

Our dishwasher is faulty, so we're washing up by hand at the mo.

DH, without so much as a meaningful stare from me, popped out of his seat and began drying as I washed.

All well and good, then he ruined it for himself after ten minutes by giving it puppy-dog eyes and saying "Have I done enough now?".

Prat.

My DH does this too i hate the 'for you ' bit, he will say 'i'll do the ironing for you' and i say 'dont bloody bother'. he is good that he does the dinner but then i work 10hr days 4 days a week so he realy has no choice.
What annoys me most is that even though i work 37 hrs which is full time, as i have 2 days off in the week he says 'why cant you do it you only work part time' and i feel like killing him, i have a full time job, am a full time housewife and a full time mother and he just has a Job which gives him permission to come home and sit on the sofa and do nothing.
Men are a nitemare sometimes but there we go we love them realy.

Since I went back to work, all laundry is DH's responsibility.

He puts the machine on before bed, hangs it out before work and irons in front of the TV. He takes great pride in keeping it up straight too.

I can win massive amounts of brownie points by doing his ironing "for him" if there's something I want to watch on telly on a Suday eve. Even then I usually do it on some sort of "If I you your ironing you can put up that curtain rail" basis

I would be grateful if DH did the ironing at all, regardless of what he said afterwards!

Sorry I think YABU. It's just a phrase. DH and I say things like this to each other.