AIBU to have walked out of this job interview?

[MrsFlittersnoop]

Sorry this is so long. I went for an interview for a long-term temp.job last week.

I turned up at reception about 10 minutes early and explained I had a interview at 11.45 with J. the HR manager. While I was talking to the receptionist, a bloke who was walking past the desk stopped and stared at me. I smiled and said hello, but he blanked me and walked into the lift. I was a bit taken aback, but thought nothing more of it.

I was then met by a young girl who introduced herself as J's PA, who took me upstairs me to an empty office in the HR department, told me that J was still in a meeting and asked me to wait.

She left the door slightly ajar on her way out, and while I was waiting I heard a man and a woman talking as they walked down the corridor. The convo went as follows:

"J, are you interviewing temps this morning?"
"Yes, I'm due to see another at 11.45."
"Well don't bother. I've just seen the latest one in reception. Fucking hell, what a joke! I don't know what that agency is thinking of. Do you have any idea how old she is? She looks old enough to be my mother." (I am 48).
"Well, Mr H, the woman's come all this way, I really can't just tell her to......."
"Look just sort it will you? Tell her job's been filled or something. And have a word with that bloody agency will you?"

I heard him walk off, and the woman went into the office next door. I heard her say, "What? she's here already ? Where is she?

A minute later she came into the office where I was sitting. She looked really appalled. It must have been perfectly obvious I'd heard every word, because the door was open. I stood up and said "I don't think I want to waste your time or mine" and walked out. She made no attempt to speak to me or call me back.

My legs were so wobbly I don't know how I made it to the lift and I had to fight really hard not to burst into tears before I'd left the building. I was so shaken up I got myself a large G&T in a bar in Covent Garden and sat outside and smoked about 50 fags before I felt able to face the tube home.

I've been temping with this agency for a while. They've always had great feedback for me from previous employers and usually send me for more "senior" roles. I am very well presented at work. I wear expensive and fashionable office-smart clothes, have no grey hairs or wrinkles. People usually assume I'm younger than my 42 year old DH.

AIBU to feel utterly humiliated? I know I should be tougher and thank my lucky stars I didn't end up working there, but my self-esteem has just crashed to rock bottom. We went to a wedding yesterday and I was in tears before we left thinking that DH's mates would be laughing at me behind his back. (They weren't of course, and I had a lovely time.) But I'm worried that I'm feeling so fragile.

[Ewe]

Of course you don't want the agency to lose business/not give you work but equally they need to know the full situation so they can make a judgement call on it and I think it would need to be a senior manager to devise the best course of action.

If this were my client I would go down and see them, talk through the situation and potential consequences and offer to do a workshop for recruiting managers to ensure they don't leave themselves open to this sort of thing in future and that they recruit within the law.

It would not cloud my judgement of the candidate at all. In fact, I would be furious on their behalf! The company needs to know they can't do this, either by the OP complaining directly to them or entrusting the agency to ensure they understand the severity of the behaviour.

[PacificDogwood]

I have no idea re the legal position of all of this but personally I would need to complain, not necessarily sue, mainly for personal satisfaction. I suppose it all depends what would satisfy you. As blu stated (far, far) above for a tribunal you'd need witnesses, but for an angry, well written, intelligent complaint, you don't .

Please, please, may we help draft it???

I am not sure I would be comfortable involving the agency even if legally they are obliged to educate the client if you are happy with their service otherwise and want to stay with them.

I am going to follow this thread with interest.

[LupusinaLlamasuit]

Horrible. And illegal now. I would also contact the Equality and Human Rights Commission for a advice on the legal position regarding age discrimination. Their website is quite helpful too.

[zipzap]

I'm sure it won't ever happen again.

But it might be worth thinking through the situation and deciding what you would do if it did, which would enable you to take the upper hand and control the situation at the time.

For example, you might have wanted to walk in (super calm cool and collected obviously) and say that you took notes on the conversation that you couldn't help but hear. Pull out sheet of paper with key points on (age, etc) and ask them to sign it along with you that that accurately represented why they did not want to interview, so that you can pass the feedback on to the temp agency so they can add it to their requirements file for the client. And as you waltz out of the door, you get to add 'and for me to talk to the age discrimination lawyers obviously and did I mention compensation for time and expense coming to the interview when you obviously did not specify your requirements clearly'.

Sorry, bit late for me to think in a perfectly worded way but you get the gist!

[goodasgold]

What would you do if your daughter told you this had happened to her? Would you advise that she took things further in order to gain satisfaction. I think I would...

You don't need to name and shame, but please escalate this matter, you have alternative work now, what do you have to lose?

These idiots will continue until they are checked. You are in a position to check them. Do it. Just a formal letter to the company should make them think.

Best wishes to you in your new job.

[Tortington]

i would seek legal advice - even if its only a tentative phonecall. i think you are right to register this complaint formally with the agency and get an acknowledgement in writing if you can.

then make a phonecall to a solicitor and see what kind of ground your on.

[ninedragons]

God, even the dinosaurs are getting younger.

What an uppity little shit.

[MrsFlittersnoop]

Just a quick note before I trot of to my new temp assignment to say thanks again for your encouraging messages . I will follow this up when I get back from my training morning, I will speak to the agency manager and might ring my solicitor afterwards.

Temping is the pits. I hate hate hate it . It is exhausting being chucked in at the deep-end every Monday. We really are utterly disposable.

The sexism expressed by Mr Twatface didn't surprise me in the slightest. I've been working for 30 years and spent 15 years working in the financial sector in the city so have rubbed shoulders with enough Big Swinging Dicks to last a lifetime.

It was the engrained macho culture of the insurance broking sector which drove me out of my much-loved career when DS was born. My employers reneged on a promise to let me return part-time after ML, this was before the Flexible Working directive.

I've heard departmental managers ranting at their female staff after a senior broker announced she was pregnant, telling them he would sack anyone else who took maternity leave. I've seen a temp receptionist sacked on her first morning because the MD thought she was "too ugly" (she wasn't wearing any make-up).

So we'll see what happens. TBH, I am very stressed at the moment with more important matters such as moving to the other side of the country, writing an appeal to get DS into a decent school, coping with DS and exDP being utterly heartbroken about us moving, my mother's teeth all falling out, trying to organise builders to fix her roof, DP being owed £15K by one of his clients, his last year's tax return.....

Oh the joy's of being a member of the Sandwich Generation. Frankly my career prosepcts (or lack of) are at the bottom of my list of proprities ATM.

[trixymalixy]

What an utter twat!!!!

And really well done to you for the way you dealt with it. I would have collapsed into a snivelling pile.

I am so for you. Please please please take this as far as you can and don't let him get away with this kind of crap.

[sobloodystupid]

cannot believe mr 29 year old. agree with everyone here, please don't let him get away with this. Well done for being so composed!

[thumbwitch]

That's disgusting.
I would complain to the agency and say that you don't wish to be put in such a position again by immature wankers who wouldn't know a decent employee if they fell over them. (Obviously paraphrase a little!)
Be glad you aren't actually having to work for them and remember that you are worth SO MUCH MORE than them; and fingers crossed that their junvenile company goes down the pan due to their juvenile attitude.

[fembear]

Mrs F, I would be tempted to go through the motions of a claim for age discrimination in order to get an out of court settlement. Isn't it worth a few phone calls and letters for a juicy 'go away' payout?
If they have no employees over the age of 30 then they will have difficulty proving that they are not age-discriminatory. It's up to them to prove their innocence, not for you to prove their guilt.
Go on: have fun scaring them.

[Stigaloid]

I just wanted to add how angry I am on your behalf. You do not deserve to be treated that way and hope your new placement goes well - sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment.

[missmelly]

I agree, this is awful treatment. I've done a lot of temping in the past as well as hire temps for finance roles. You should definitely make a complaint about this, get your lawyer to send the firm a letter, as to be honest the agency will be aware of this sort of discrimination and wont want to upset their client (times are very tough for agencies at the moment). If you have the time and energy, please do take it further, he shouldnt get away with treating people like that. Good luck today, hope your new role is at a nice company

[tisa]

That is awful treatment. I think you should take it further too.

[karalathecamel]

I do think that you should write and inform the MD of the company of the situation - good luck.

[Nekabu]

O M G ... That is appalling.

I wouldn't take it further although I too would be livid at such appalling treatment but if the end result will be either to your detriment or you put work in for nothing, it simply isn't worth it as what will you gain from it even if you do manage to take things further? FWIW he has probably already been made aware that you overheard and has been ticked off about it (and rightly so) and hopefully feels ashamed.

Please don't let it shake your confidence though; an internet marketing consultancy in a trendy area of central London are probably the most up their own behinds image conscious aholes around and probably wouldn't hire anyone outside their 20s. I was speaking to someone only the other day who was complaining that at 26 she is considered too old for internet design jobs with the trendier companies and so given the time she spent at college, that actually gave her a shelf life of just a few years with that type of company!

[rostbeef]

Please do NOT take this to heart. That company will not last long if that is their attitude to staff. Any professional place that hires on age rather than skill is not set to last, or at least not set to succeed. Another company will not only be lucky to have you, but they will know it and you can be assured you are in a place of work that values skills and will be a supportive and thriving place to work.
Put those wankers behind you. The marketplace soon will.

[wannaBe]

yanbu to walk out.

But I am going to go against the grain here and say that you should walk away, and feel happy that you had a lucky escape.

Firstly, it was an overheard conversation, and there is no way of proving who said what and even that they were talking about you, so you would be on shaky ground before you even started.

Secondly, you need to consider what you have to gain, or lose, by making a claim against this company. Rightly or wrongly, this sort of thing rarely has a positive outcome, even if it is settled, iyswim.

About ten years ago I was discriminated against by a large multinational company. Actually discriminated against to my face, and told that although I'd got the job on my experience/interview etc, they would not employ me because I have a disability. They had actually broken the law, and I probably would have had a strong case for discrimination. But I knew that if I took it to court there was a chance it might end up in the media. And if it did, then other employers might be put off even interviewing me because by taking action I would have earned myself a reputation as a trouble maker. I decided that in the grand scheme of things, I was better off not working for them, and it was better to walk away rather than to potentially ruin any future chances of me getting another job.

Ironically, I went to work for another company who, six months later, were taken over by the parent company of the ones who had discriminated.

[GreenMonkies]

What a fuckwit.

Can you claim for travelling expenses?

[Stigaloid]

WannaBe - you should have said something. You don't get classed as a trouble maker - you get classed as a hero standing up for your rights and the rights of others. My friend has had to take 2 separate companies to court - one for horrendous sexual dsicrimination and another for harrasment - she won both cases. She has managed to find employment easily and people don't view her as a trouble maker. The law proved she was right both times and it makes it easier and gives other people hope when you stand up for your rights.

[womma]

Mrsflittersnoop, I can't believe it!! Just want to give you some support and say how well you dealt with this. Good luck my love xxx

[HolyGuacamole]

Fucking disgraceful behaviour! You were absolutely right to walk out. Can't believe in this day and age, that women are treated like that!

Grrrr!!

[Ripeberry]

He sounds like a bastard. Sounds like he just wanted a bit of skirt to look at and flirt with.
Problem, London is full of t**ats like that.

[wannaBe]

I think it depends on the circumstances tbh.

If it was an existing employer then totally agree that action should be taken. But this wasn't, this was a job I just didn't get. And at that point employers do have a choice as to whether they would even interview someone, and there are certainly employers who wouldn't, based on the fear of being sued if they didn't give you a job.