Sorry, bit of a long one, but bear with me (please):
I've been with DP for 2 1/2 years, living together for one. Although we're not really bothered about getting hitched just yet, we are totally devoted to each other, have an amazing relationship and will be TTC as of next month (YESSS!) - and this commitment is obvious to anyone who knows us.
His family live 5 hours away, whereas my parents live 20 mins away (my brother lives abroad). We do see my parents more, of course, but we go see his family several times a year. I get on really well with his family and they've really made me feel part of the wider family - but therein kinda lies the problem: they see me as 'one of them' now. In all the time we have been together, not once has either of his parents asked a single question about my family. In fact, when I mention them, his parents politely change the subject or look obviously uninterested. I was once at their house and had some photos of my family and offered to show them and they refused! I have tried to bring up the topic of both families meeting and they bluff the issue, pretending that they don't understand what I'm asking. DP is v shy, even with his parents and stays out of it.
Another weird factor is that in a year of living together, they have never once visited our home! Although they live far away, his father commutes up here to work 3 days a week in an office 4 miles away from our place and has never once come and they both have other relatives who live near us, but despite invitations, they have never visited. I just can't understand them! They are those sort of stiff-upper-lip, keep-it-all-inside types; DP can't ever remember hearing them say 'I love you' or getting a hug or a kiss, and expressing emotions was frowned upon - but they are a very kind, warm family nevertheless. My family are the opposite - very open, very tactile and demonstrative; we talk about anything and everything and wear our hearts on our sleeves. However, I think both set of parents would all get on well as they are otherwise similar in class, opinion, tastes, interests, background, etc.
I can understand DP's parents being reserved and not wanting to be smothering of their sons (he's the middle of 3), but surely it's a bit weird to not want to ever see our home or meet my folks? After this long, it can't be blamed on shyness or 'biding their time' to see if our relationship was The Real Deal?! Whatever the reason is, it's insulting! I feel as though not wanting to meet my family is an unspoken way of saying 'if we join with them, then it'll mean your relationship is for keeps... and we're not sure we like that idea'.
AIBU?!