To be really pissed off with nursery?

[muminthecity]

I probably AB(a bit)U as this is a sensitive issue for me, but DD came home from nursery today with a bag full of paintings/drawings etc, one of which was a fathers day card which said "To Daddy, I love you, Love from DD xxx", in an adult's handwriting, another of which was an indecipherable painting which had "My Daddy" written at the top in DD's handwriting.

DD hasn't seen her father since she was 2 (18 months ago) and has no memory of him. It was his choice to walk away, and despite my attempts to resume contact, he has never had any interest whatsoever. I made this very clear to the nursery when she started 12 months ago. I know that with father's day approaching there is bound to be a lot of discussion about daddies, but surely DD can't be the only child in the nursery with an absent father? Then again, it is a small nursery so maybe she is. I guess I was just expecting a bit more sensitivity, I know the head and DD's keyworker are both aware of our situation, and it would only take a second to check her file if another teacher was unsure.

DD has never mentioned her father, or asked any questions, she just accepts her family the way it is. Of course I am fully prepared for the questions that she might ask about her father, I have been since he walked away, it was bound to come up sooner or later, I'm just disappointed with the way it's come about.

AIBU?

YANBU. However I wouldn't risk it-always check.

YANBU

Last year when it was father's day, my DD's key worker took me aside at the end of the day and said that she had written to 'someone special' on my DD's card rather than 'to daddy' as they knew that things were delicate wrt to DD's father at the time.

They have done exactly the same this year too.

YANBU. Thre are ways round it. She could have made a card for her Grandad or just made a card with just from DD in it. That ia what most nurseries would do.

Thanks for all the reassurance - I am aware that I can be oversensitive with issues regarding DD's father so I wanted to check that I wasn't overreacting. I will definitely be having a word tomorrow and will remind them next year well in advance.

IMO, YABU and YANBU

I agree, they could have been more sensitive - perhaps checked first. However, (and I speak as a mother in exactly the same position as you) my DD's do chose to write father's days - we have nowhere to send them, but I think it helps them feel they are doing something to connect with the idea of having a father (does that make sense..? It's rather late!). And then we make cards for Grandpa at home.

I worked in nurseries and we would always say right who wants to make a mothers day/ fathers day card for soemone and suggest it doesn't have to be mum or dad.

Had a older group where one girl had lost her mum recently so we didn't do mothers day or fathers day cards that year, if we do themin the future it will be cards for someone special as we don't always know the technicalities of the parent set up especially the dad side of things, but they are old enough to decide who they are for and what to write.

yanbu
I thought all schools / nurseries etc were more sensitive to the fact that a large proportion of the children are not from traditional family set-ups.
DD has made a blank card with a picture of a male lion on it, to do with it as they wish, with no mention of father's day.