to not want my boss to call me at 6:30pm when I am eating my dinner?

[PavlovtheForgetfulCat]

I am off sick at the moment. I usually work until 2:30pm on a tuesday if I was at work. When we had a home visit I told her I could have her at my home no later than 5pm as from 6pm onwards we will be eating dinner and then putting DD to bed.

She keeps saying to me, is is ok to call you at x time? And I keep saying to her, I would prefer not to call me after 5:30pm as it is family time, eating, winddown before bed.

I was in work last week until wed, when my gp signed me off sick for 1 week. She is impossible to contact so I left her an email and a voicemail to let her know I would be off until this wed coming, all being well I would return to work on wednesay, call me if any problems, I have a go cert etc. No call from her all week, despite me being in, apart from the odd half hour here and there to get milk from shops etc. On Friday I left the house at 3:45pm and did not return before end of office hours, but no messages on voicemail.

So, this evening at 6:35pm, when we were all sat, DH, DD and I at the table eating our tea, she called me. I normally ignore the phone if I am eating. DH does not and he passed the phone to me.

'pavlov? pavlov its xx, I tried calling you at the end of last week but the phone just kept ringing...'
'ok, not sure why the voicemail did not pick it up...'
'i am just phoning to find out what is going on, i need to know when you are coming back to work'
'did you get my messages last week'
'yes, but I thought I had better phone, in case things have changed'
'i would have called you if things have changed xx, or if I was still poorly I would call you after seeing the gp tomorrow when my sick note runs out, I am returning to work tomorrow, as long as I feel well in the morning'
'so you are feeling better then?'
'right this second yes, you know it varies day to day, but I am hoping to return tomorrow yes'
'oh, ok, well we shall catch up tomorrow then, see you tomorrow'

.

I am annoyed for several reasons. One it was a pointless call as I already told her everything there was to know last week, she did not leave a voicemail message (we have an ansafone and if this is full, rarely is, we have Sky messaging service as backup).

But mostly, why did she call me at 6:30pm when I have already told her I am not available at this time? I would not be expected to be working at this time, whether off sick or not!

I hate being interrupted when I am eating. It is so rude.

AIBU or does she indeed own my ass?

tassiss unfortunately, I have to expect late night calls as his brother does not get home from work until 11:30pm our time. BUT, I tell DH to get him to MSN him online first and then DH can pick up the phone immediately when he calls. Sometimes, DH goes out and his brother will call at 00:30am and I effing freak when DH gets home! I would pick the phone up, but would not be held responsible for what I might say!

ice i see your point about DH, but given that he is the way he is, if she had not called in the first place, he would not have been put in that position where I would get annoyed. And it might have only been 2 mins, but it was 2 mins she did not have any right to take up when I am on sick leave and having tea with my family.
But I do like the fact that people think DH is partly at fault due to his inability to leave the phone alone.

Maybe I should just unplug it.

And also, having a ringing phone that is not answered it just as annoying as having it answered, I would prefer it did not bloody ring at all

YA of course NBU. I personally find with HG that it's really hard to eat and keep food down if stressful things are happening, so a call like that when I was trying to eat dinner would be hugely annoying.

But once you knew she had called (I assume you have a voicemail or some such) or could do 1471, it prays on your mind. She didn't need to ring you - that's the bottom line.

i know what you mean about a ringing phone. I switch mine off completely when ds is napping and forget to switch it back on for days - bliss.
but I still don't understand why dh didn't say you were unavailable?

kathy thank you! How are you feeling? I have had a few good days, and even ate half a pot of haagan daas last night . Indigestion is horrendous, but food is staying down for the most part. But not last week, last week, until thursday, nothing stayed down for days. Again. BUT Us and Es all ok!

Orm exactly.

ice DH does not like lying. As far as he is concerned, I am right in front of him, and I can take the call so he would be lying to say I was unavailable. He also gets worried that if my boss does not speak to me she will get shitty, its like he thinks it is illegal not to talk to some-one in a professional capacity if they phone.

I think she doesn't know how to approach you, or discuss things with you. Sounds as if she was looking for an excuse to talk to you, as she genuinely wasn't sure about the arrangements. Perhaps she has been asked questions about when you'll be back?

As you've told her that your condition varies from day to day, it's understandable that she wanted to know how you were and what your plans were. She probably wants to be able to support you, and in her mind, calling you to see how you are, in her world, counts as support.

hmmm
going against the grain here I think you are being a tad unresonable and dare I say it precious about this family time. - a 5minute one off phonecall is not the end of the world

Sounds like you were also a bit rude to her given that you have had an awful lot of time off which no doubt has impacted on your boss who has probably had to work harder and longer to cover this absence.

so I say chill out about it - give and take give and take

pavlov, part of me thinks...ignore the phone...however, you have told her (LOTS), she ignores and still rings, for stupid issues too half the time.

the mood I am in tonight......sh**t her

ignore the phone and get a loud ansa machine so you can screen calls

or some phones you can chnage ring tones, my bil has this, so has a family ring and then normal ring - though seems when we call him it still goes on ansa machine

maybe he is screening us

ps - kick your dh hard so he KNOWS next time to ignore phone

connie you do have a valid point. I am being a tad pigheaded here. But. She is always overstepping the mark. She is always messing things up. She has no social skills and she has no regard for processes and policy. For example. I informed her that I was pg when I was 5 weeks, knowing I might develop severe sickness as I did with last pg, in order to have a H&S risk assessment. At 9 weeks, just prior to going off sick, I emailed her and asked for H&S risk assessment asap as I was struggling to cope with my work. And she did not do it. I asked for OH referral, she did not do it.

I had the H&S risk assessment done 2 weeks ago when I was 16wks pg, along with the OH, after my union rep got involved.

I think, I am being pigheaded on the basis that she just not get it. The whole work/home divide. And it annoys me

Ilovemydog - Perhaps. Perhaps I should give her break . I will think about it

psycho i like your style

see.....I have my uses

I never answer the phone if I see it's work on the caller display! I wait for them to leave a message, then if I think they really need to speak to me (very rare!) I call them back.

Otherwise I just ignore them lol!

Sooner or later they will get the message!!

has your dh watched that film with Jim Carey in who has to tell the truth all the time!
Is he like that? must get into a few tricky situations!
Maybe do as blonde says and just kick him hard, it'll make you feel better I think especially if you imagine it's your boss!

ice it does get him in a few tricky situations! Not only is he honest, but a tad direct with it at times! He is not honest in a subtle way. He is honest in a 'here is the phone pavlov its your boss' kind of way so I can't go 'nonononono tell her I am busy' as she would have heard him

It's a guy thing. DP does it too. Think it's a stimulus response mechanism. Phone rings. Answer it. Route call. It isn't personal.

He also used to work in a call centre, did it for years, he was not allowed to let the phone ring then obviously been drilled into him!