to be dreading sleep - need some reassurance

[Boys2mam]

I had a miscarriage 2 yrs ago.

I've gone on to have a beautiful DS who is now 9 mths old but I had a dream Weds night that I cannot get out of my head. I feel ridiculous but I feel so undescribably...strange about it. Not sad, but can't shake the horridness of the dream and I don't understand the reason behind it.

Bedtime looms - Anyone had anything similiar?

how awful for you.

ive had horrid dreams about things happening to the children etc and been scared to sleep the next night incase i dreamt the same again because it was so horrible id been thinking about them all of the next day but i dont think it did turn into a reacurring dream.

i would have a lovely bath,read a book or magazine and try to sleep.

Oh dear, yes I have, and I can understand being afraid to go to sleep. A really shocking dream can leave a person feeling quite traumatised.

Try to accept that you can't possibly understand the reasons behind dreaming whatever it was. I could spout some armchair psychology about you subconsciously needing to process something, but really, our understanding of the purpose and function of dreams is still so tiny.

Have you tried writing the dream down in detail? Perhaps not the best move right before bed, but at another time it could help to externalise it a bit.

I hope that it continues to be a one-off for you.

I have been in the very same position and try as hard as I could I couldnt get the dream out of my head. If you have a DP then speak to him explain how the dream made you feel and your fears, hopefully he will do sleep shifts with you tonight. I know its not ideal but it was the only thing that put my mind to rest and I went on to sleep normally within a few days.

Sorry you feel like this, my thoughts are with you.

I wasn't so bad last night but tonight I am just dissecting the awful bits of the dream and tormenting myself

DP is being amazing. He's been a rock since the day it happened I just don't get why its surfaced now.

The details are the nasty bits - its so intense its awful.

I'm sat in tears just thinking of it. Its seriously fecking with my head.

If you want something wise and reassuring to listen to before bed, you could do a lot worse than Gil Fronsdal's talk entitled Difficult Events as Teachers, towards the bottom of this page.

It's probably a reaction to your son's birth given the miscarriage.

The brain can take aaages to process and filter things, whatever it was you dreamt, although unpleasant, it is your brain's way of dealing with, and putting to rest, what happened to you.

try not to think about it - you won't dream it again.

I had a miscarriage myself 2 years ago and my DS is nine months old today!