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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to strongly dislike my PIL

44 replies

Pilki · 11/06/2009 10:04

They drive me mental. From deciding they wanted to hire a chavvy limo for the wedding to not seeing their 8 week old grandchild they are awful

They live in a dump (not through lack of money just cos they are lazy and dont clean up) They all smoke in the house and have a dog. The house is very very dirty,for example oldest son (33) sits around in his boxer shorts (he is obese) and youn cant see through downstairs window because of dog spit smeared all over it (can't remember last time it was cleaned). So we are not prepared to take DD to their house so now the excuses begin,
They can't come to ours as FIL has a rash (he has had it since she was born apparantly) and doesnt want to pass it on to her, This is fine but go to the doctors and get it sorted.
He isn't prepared to drive his car here incase someone takes his parking space outside his house?? so they would have to rely on taxi's which just isnt convienient for us as it means them hanging around for hours as generally the taxi is late picking them up.
Whenever they come, I have to wash the throws off the sofa when they leave as they smell of stale fags and just a bit grimy.

They are awful and I just wish they would sort themselves out.

I probably am totally overreacting and being unreasonable but I feel so much better for a rant.

They have only seen the grandchild once. Even though it was two vistors at a time at the hospital they turned up en masse and refused to obey the two visitor rule and had bought presents that stunk of grime and fags and that needed to be washed before going anywhere near our DD.

Right rant over!!! Will probably get flamed but feel better now it's off my chest lolxxx

OP posts:
Pilki · 11/06/2009 14:04

Oh it's bad isnt it!!! I always imagined that when I got married I would be gaining a second family HA ha ha ha
Instead I find myself related to the Munsters

OP posts:
controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 11/06/2009 14:22

are you planning to pass to dd your qualities of compassion and tolerance?? yes they sound grim.... BUT they are part of dd's family and your dh's parents fgs... would you like your sil to treat you like this in years to come?? you can afford to be a little kinder imo and make some arrangements that allow them to have a relationship with dd that you feel able to tolerate. your posts are making you sound a not v nice person.

Pilki · 11/06/2009 14:35

Totally see where you are coming from controlfreakythecontrolfreak, I know fine well that I sound awful, but I just needed to rant and get it off my chest so that I can continue being pleasant to them and there is no way I would deny them having a relationship with my DD....
And surely it is better to rant on here than rant to them or to DH..
I have tried repeatedly to sort out meeting up etc, however there is always an excuse and they always drop out at the last minute..

OP posts:
controlfreakythecontrolfreak · 11/06/2009 16:13

i can understand that... rant away!

Pilki · 11/06/2009 16:18

I think i'm all ranted out for today But massive thnaks ladies!!! feel like a new woman for getting that off my chest!!

I will be back soon with more rants Im sure!!!

OP posts:
StayFrosty · 11/06/2009 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

womma · 11/06/2009 18:00

Oh Pilki, I'm imagining Violet and Onslow's house from Keeping Up Appearances when you describe your PIL's place. YANBU, but you have made me laugh!

Pilki · 11/06/2009 18:10

Glad I made you laugh ha ha ha

Im now imagining myself in the role of Haycinth Bucket lol (im not that bad honest)

Stayfrosty - I didnt want to hurt DH feelings (but give it a month or so and they will be in the charity shop bag )

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 11/06/2009 18:43

I do find it incredible how some people are so utterly utterly different to their parents. Pilki sounds like your DH is definitely one! My DH is too. My in laws are not grimy or slovenly but are the most miserable depressed people you could ever meet. They rarely smile, except when hearing other peoples bad news and are unspeakably dull. DH is cheerful, happy, interesting and upbeat. Must be throwbacks but its hard to comprehend how these lovely men come from such odd backgrounds.

JenniPenni · 11/06/2009 19:19

'They rarely smile, except when hearing other peoples bad news and are unspeakably dull. DH is cheerful, happy, interesting and upbeat. Must be throwbacks but its hard to comprehend how these lovely men come from such odd backgrounds.'

Exactly the same as my husband! I think what did the trick with him was getting out the house at an early age and going into the army - it was conscription back then (in South Africa). He then did loads of travelling in the 90s. He and his immediate fam (sibs included) are chalk and cheese.

Pilki · 11/06/2009 21:02

It's strange indeed.... Not sure how it is that he is so different, but he is the complete opposite to his family to the point where is a bit OCD about cleaning etc and can be very anal about keeping everything spotless and tidied away. So he really is the total opposite. Probably why I was so shocked when I met the inlaws as I was expecting people more like DH!!

OP posts:
Wigglesworth · 11/06/2009 21:14

They sound like Wayne and Waynetta Slob, the dog spit on the window, priceless.

Pilki · 11/06/2009 22:17

Wigglesworth - I kid you not, you can't see through the window because of dried dog spit

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SleepDeprivedMe · 11/06/2009 22:27

YANBU!
They sound awful but at least they've given us all a good laugh tonight! They sound like my BIL and SIL who allowed their Rottweiller to eat DH's leather jacket when he nodded off at their flat once!!!
I think you should apply for Kim and Aggie to pop round!

ChippingIn · 11/06/2009 22:37

Pilki - did your DH 'warn' you before you went to visit for the first time?

I would be as shallow concerned as you about them attending school stuff etc - so yeah - it's a bit shallow maybe (and lacking compassion yadda yadda yadda) - but you wouldn't be alone!!!

Thingiebob · 11/06/2009 22:53

Maybe they don't visit because they don't like you?

I wonder how much of this is true and not just coloured by the op's snobbishness.

Pilki · 11/06/2009 22:59

Oh Im not a snob, far from it. But I don't think cleaning windows and basic hygene make me a snob. But I can see your point, but as I have said before I'm just ranting to get it off my chest as the rant has been brewing for a while.

However I take "shallow" on the chin!!! Reading back through my posts I am extremely shallow - but as ChippinIn said it's probably something that a lot of us are guilty of..xx

As for not liking me I would have no idea as whenever they are invited round (which is often) they always find an excuse (reading that back it does sound like they don't like me ie making up excuses to avoid me ha ha ha) so your probably right

As I have said previously It was only a rant to get my feelings out and I would never dream of being rude to either them or DH - it's just me letting off steam xxx

OP posts:
Thingiebob · 11/06/2009 23:11

Ok. Sorry perhaps I was unneccesarily harsh. You have every right to have a rant.

Sometimes it's difficult to assess the truth of a situation online. I've met many people who immediately see smoking, imperfect teeth and a shabby house as 'dirty' and an indication of laziness or low character and it really upsets me.

echt · 11/06/2009 23:24

Her armpit hair is none of your business. Not everyone likes to see nude armpits on grown women, nor the skanky stubbly re-growth.

Which looks like a badly-plucked chicken.

Rant over.

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