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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to delay my daughter's operation while I look into the options?

118 replies

Runoutofideas · 10/06/2009 16:57

Hi,
This is a genuine question as I really don't know what to do for the best. DD1 (4) has just been diagnosed with glue ear and the specialist has recommended grommets and adenoids out which will involve a general anaesthetic. I took her initially to the GP as I didn't think her hearing was 100% and she permanently sounds quite nasal, but her speech and language development luckily does not seem to be affected particulary. Her pre-school teacher was shocked when I told them the recommendation as she said she hadn;t noticed there was a problem, and was talking about dd1's fantastic vocabulary and sentence structure etc. I have been researching online and found that for some people cranial osteopathy has helped and also herbal remedies for shrinking the adenoids. Am I being unreasonable for trying these first rather than rushing into an operation which may not be entirely necessary...? If anyone has experience of grommets I'd love to hear from you.

I should add that we have private health insurance through my husband's job so waiting lists fortunately aren't too much of an issue.

OP posts:
Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 10/06/2009 17:07

Two of my three have had grommits in with tonsils/adenoids removed at the same time. With my third child we took a wait and see approach and avoided the surgery.

Both decisions were right I think for the individual children; the boys suffered quite badly with ear infections and ds2 in particular had behavioural problems due to his communication difficulties. dd however has other problems which put her at greater risk under GA so avoiding it was right for her and she did grow out of the glue ear.

The surgery itself is straightforward but it's never easy to put your child through a GA. If you're unsure maybe it's worthwhile looking at alternatives, cranial osteopathy for instance?

Morloth · 10/06/2009 17:08

I think you need to think about the title of specialist as opposed to preschool teacher.

TubOfLardWithInferiorRange · 10/06/2009 17:08

I would get a second opinion.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 10/06/2009 17:11

Sorry - I speed read your post. I would try cranial osteopathy definitely, I haven't heard of the adenoid shrinking remedies though.

Schnullerbacke · 10/06/2009 17:12

I would try the osteopathy first, can't really go wrong with it. Also had some success with Homeopathy....In any case, it's not a life or death situation and will most likely not make a huge difference if you were to wait a few more weeks. You may be able to avoid the op which will be a big bonus.

Good luck.

mumOfTheYearNOT · 10/06/2009 17:12

You lost me at 'herbal remedies'. The evidence for such things is very poorly put together.

MadameCastafiore · 10/06/2009 17:13

Get it done now - listen to the SPECIALIST - they tend not to do ops on little ones so they wouldn't have just recommended it for the sake of it and 4 yr old tend to suffer less and have less time off school.

wingandprayer · 10/06/2009 17:14

Herbal remedies are not an alternative to surgery. Doctors don't recommend operations for a laugh. Cranial therapy all well and good, DS currently having it for ear probs, but is not cure.

Reception is a crucial year. She may be coping admirably with pre-school but does not mean she will be as able in a busy proper classroom.

Schnullerbacke · 10/06/2009 17:19

But doctors are also quick to operate when there may not be a need. I'm not saying that's the case with your daughter but a few weeks won't make a big difference. Just think that if she were to get operated on the NHS, you would have to wait anyway.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 10/06/2009 17:19

Children do grow out of glue ear though and it's completely understandable to not want to put your child through a GA. And grommits aren't the be all and end all either they can and do fall out and often need redoing.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 10/06/2009 17:20

Going through something similar with ds, he is a possible candidate for the surgery to remove his adenoids and tonsils and has problems with glue ear.
Although a candidate for the surgery they tend to prefer a wait and see approach with small children as these things can get better as the child grows so from my own experience and from talking to friends whose children have gone through the same making hte decision to operate is not taken lightly at all.

Original poster
Runoutofideas · 10/06/2009 17:22

Hmmm - you're probably all right about the herbal remedies. I'm certainly not normally a fan of that type of treatment, because there is so little evidence to support it. I think I'm just grasping at straws to avoid surgery!

Wingand prayer - is the cranial therapy helping your son's ear problems?

OP posts:
thirtysomething · 10/06/2009 17:27

My DD had permanent glue ear as a baby anbd toddler with constant ear infections - for some reason the ENT consultant didn't think grommets were appropriate so we never went down that route - I regret it to be honest. She's now 8 and her speech is still delayed - she sounds quite babyish and people often can't understand her plus she's quite loud in her speech. She missed out on the vital years of speech acquisition i think as her hearing was always impacted. It's also had an impact on her literacy skills at school - she couldn't hear the difference between certain consonants in reception so it took a long time to learn to read. I would definitely get a second opinion if you have doubts but I would also consider the bigger picture

TubOfLardWithInferiorRange · 10/06/2009 17:28

I would still a second opinion-you could also try an ear candle for the glue ear.

Original poster
Runoutofideas · 10/06/2009 17:32

Thirty something - sorry to hear about your daughter's problems with speech. That's the thing though really - I've been mentioning to health visitors/GP's about dd1's hearing for the past year or so and although she can't hear well, it doesn't seem to be having an impact on her speech. In fact the consultant did say that some children are able to cope with the hearing loss without any apparent speech problems. Am I being unrealistic in thinking this could continue until she outgrows the glue ear?

OP posts:
Original poster
Runoutofideas · 10/06/2009 17:35

How does an ear candle work?

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 10/06/2009 17:35

We had a similar problem with DS2 - constant round of ear infections, and so grommets were suggested. We were, though, offered an alternative of low dosage antibiotics over a fairly lengthy period (can't remember how long now as it was 13 years ago!)

Whilst I'm a bit wary of antibiotics they seemed a more palatable option than a GA - and in our case it was a successful treatment.

Original poster
Runoutofideas · 10/06/2009 17:40

Thanks - becauseI'mworthit. In our case antibiotics wouldn;t be appropriate because she doesn't get persistent ear infections. It's more that the glue is forming a phyisical barrier behind the ear drum and it has no means of draining away.

Thanks schnullerbacke and sagger* I'm thinking down the same lines as you I think. I just don't want to rush into an operation when although her hearing loss is "moderate" it does not seem to be causing her problems.....

OP posts:
donnymouse · 10/06/2009 17:43

I would go with you instinct, there is a serious risk with all operations, and I would try every alternative before resorting to such a serious step.

I think you are perfectly right in your considerations.

Original poster
Runoutofideas · 10/06/2009 17:43

For those of you who say "the specialist knows best", you are probably right. He probably does. But honestly, if it was your child would you just blindly book them in without question ...?

OP posts:
Original poster
Runoutofideas · 10/06/2009 17:43

Thanks donnymouse x-post!

OP posts:
WolframAlpha · 10/06/2009 17:45

I have just had a grommet put in under GA. It was fine, quick, no infection afterwards. I wish I'd had it done when it was first suggested, when little. I have had years of ear infections, got permanent damage to my ear drums, decreased hearing and so on.

Ear candles don't work btw.

Original poster
Runoutofideas · 10/06/2009 17:46

Ineedacleaner - is your son a similar age? Dd1 is 4.3. Wishing you luck with him...

OP posts:
puffylovett · 10/06/2009 17:47

Runoutofideas- If your daughters glue ear is as a result of recurring ear infections, then you need to address the underlying reasons she is getting them, ie low immunity or possible dairy intolerance. As a naturopath I see a lot of children with dairy intolerances whose ears improve upon sensible replacement of dairy products in their diets.

I have also seen a lot of successfull treatment with the Ear Candling over the last 5 years. No-one can truly explain the way they work - ie some will tell you they suck the wax out. I personally don't believe this theory and am more inclined to agree with the theory that the burning of the candle creates a massage effect on the eardrum, which in turn loosens the wax and helps it to release itself. I often see parents whose children will wake with a lot of wax on the pillow the following morning. When you see the residue in the candle after treatment, it's often an indication of how blocked the ear is & how much resistance the vaccum effect of the candle burning has had.

These are my opinions only - but as I mentioned, I have seen a lot of parents with the same concerns as yours and seen the glue ear successfully treated with candling, probiotics, fish oil and removal of dairy prods if indicated. Many of those children had been told they needed grommets. I don't personally do the candling and I would never recommend you did it at home - you should find a qualified therapeutic practitioner = preferably a reliable comp therapist, NOT a beauty therapist.
HTH

thirtysomething · 10/06/2009 17:49

I don't know runoutof - my DD's HV and ENT specialist said the same - that it wasn't seriously affecting her speech and that she'd grow out of it. She scored moderately on all their tests - I think because she was at the bottom end of normal ranges she was "missed" really; they thought she'd get by basically, and she does, but I think she's only ever achieved around 70% of her potential because of it, if that makes sense. I don't know if she'll ever speak totally "normally" but as she's okay-ish most of the time that has always been good enough for the medical people.

As a mother I now wish I'd pushed for some grommets or something as we can't get that vital developmental stage back again, so I guess I just wanted to tell you about DD so you can consider all angles and "what-ifs"!