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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use the money in my dc's bank accounts to see us through a tight period?

44 replies

OneStroke · 10/06/2009 14:43

I've named changed for obvious reasons!

Dh and I are beginning to struggle financially. We have been hit quite hard by the recession, with dh's income almost halved.
I have been enjoying life as a stay at home mum but now am seriously applying for work, but so far no luck.

We are soon going to have wiped out all our savings just staying afloat, and if i can't find work soon we will be in trouble.

At the back of my mind is our dc's bank accounts which could keep us going for another couple of months if I don't find work or dh's company doesn't pick up.

I guess I am looking for opinions as to whether it would be wrong to use the money in the accounts. We do have other options like borrowing from our parents, but we really don't want to do this.

So AIBU to consider this?

OP posts:
FabulousBakerGirl · 10/06/2009 19:41

TBH I think it is a bad idea.

It will only buy you a couple of months and how long will it take you to replace the money?

I do understand as we have no spare money and the kids savings would pay off all our outstanding loans.

bruces · 10/06/2009 19:42

Use it the whole family is going to benefit,if at a later date your able to repay it then so be it......times are hard we have to do the best for our families

Blondeshavemorefun · 10/06/2009 19:55

fabbakergirl - you should use your childresn money

the interest you will earn on their money in the bank will be prob no more than 5% - prob a lot less

the interest you have on your loans will be MUCH higher than the interest you would earn on the savings

pay it off, then the money you would normally pay each month to your loans, then put back in the bank account

drlove8 · 10/06/2009 19:56

9 out of ten people would use it then pay it back later when you can afford it.it would only be wrong if you never pay it back.

GrapefruitMoon · 10/06/2009 20:00

It's no different to say buying them a new pair of shoes with their birthday money if that's what they need rather than a new toy. I often buy my dc's "practical" things with their money (though usually a nice pair of trainers rather than school shoes iyswim) - lots of their relatives give them clothes as presents so don't think it's any different if I choose the clothes....

SCH · 10/06/2009 20:05

We've used her savings to pay the morgage while my other half has had very little work.
We will pay it back when we can x

GrungeBlobPrimpants · 10/06/2009 20:20

I'll go against the grain here and say that I couldn't in all conscience do this - especially if the money came from relatives. If I give money for a grandchild I expect that grandchild to have it. But equally if my own child were struggling to that extent I'd prefer them to come to me before raiding a grandchild's account. How long would it take you to pay it all back?

It's just a short term solution. I think you've got to look at all the other alternatives first tbh.

Rachmumoftwo · 10/06/2009 20:39

I borrowed from DD to MOT the car when we were struggling and would do so again if need be. Not having a car would have directly impacted DDs quality of live so it was totally justifiable imo. I paid it all back when I could.

If the money was a gift, I can't imagine the giver being upset if they knew the money was helping the family (including the child) through hard times.

willowstar · 10/06/2009 20:48

I can see nothing wrong with taking it, you are a family and you need to keep afloat right now. We are not, never have been and never will be, in a position where our parents will be able to help us out, or for that matter be able to give us money for grandchild (first to be born in October) so would have very few qualms about using childrens' money as we would have put it in there in the first place. It is lovely to be able to have savings for your child but in our case it will be a luxury.

amberatkins · 10/06/2009 21:02

Onestroke My parent had to do this when I was younger. I didn't find out until I wanted to spend the money myself (when I was a little older) but I can honestly say that I didn't mind. The money was for me, and it was spent on me - feeding me and clothing me!

thirtypence · 10/06/2009 21:11

I haven't borrowed money from ds's savings - but I have got lots of his old clothes and toys (most of which were bought by relatives) and sold them on Trade Me and used the money to buy food and pay the mortgage.

My mum and dad have a savings account for ds that they control. He will get the money presumably for university.

andirobo · 10/06/2009 21:12

I am afraid I agree with grungbob - I would never even consider borrowing the kids savings to shore up my own finances, regardless of where the money came from - it is technically not yours.

But then I have never been in such dire financial straits that I would consider it.

2rebecca · 10/06/2009 21:13

If some of the money has been put in from other people then you shouldn't touch it, or at least not touch the amount put in by others.

Hulababy · 10/06/2009 21:25

Of course you should.

That money is for your DC. However keeping a roof over their head and food on the table is for their benefit; it is for them.

Yes, play it back when you can.

But honestly even if you were never able do you really think your children would be upset that youd id it?

I can honestly say that I would never have been upset by my paents having to do that.

You do what you have to to get by.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 10/06/2009 21:30

You should do it, with a clear conscience, but are there any penalties for taking the money out?

NeedaNewName · 10/06/2009 21:40

My parents had a pretty shit time of it in the last big recession (mid/late 80s) When I was a lot younger they set up a fund for me for when I was older - either wedding / deposit for house / car /uni / whatever. They had to cash it in and I still think they did the right thing. It kept them us going when things were tough and I didn't miss the money.

Hulababy · 10/06/2009 21:42

I am afriad that when times are very hard all savings within a family are a luxury.

ChippingIn · 11/06/2009 11:50

I agree with all the other posters who say if you need it, you need it. At the moment, for you, it makes the most sense. It doesn't matter who has put it there, it's for the children and they benefit from having a roof over their heads and food. Pay it back when you can.

Good luck getting a job x

trixymalixy · 11/06/2009 23:42

YANBU as long as you repay it when you can.

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