To encourage my DS 3,4yrs to read and write?

[Dragonfly74]

My friend and her DP came to visit today and as we stood in the kitchen while I made tea her DP commented on the magnetic letters and numbers that we have on our fridge.
I told him that me and DH had bought them a couple of weeks ago because our DS had seen them while we were out shopping and asked if he could have them.

I then told my friend and her DP how suprised we had been at how quickly DS had learned to spell his own name, his sisters name and also mum and dad and that if we write those names on paper for him he will copy them.

I told them that he is also showing a lot of interest in the numbers.

My friend has 2 DC older than mine so I asked for advice from her on how it would be best to encourage him further to which she laughed and her DP kind of rolled his eyes at me.
My friend then said that she hadn't done anything like that with her DC at that age and her DP asked why I was bothering yet as DS is only 3 and children aren't expected to be able to read and write when they go to school.

I said I know it isn't expected but if he's interested surely it can't do any harm to encourage him.
The thing is DS has always had a really short attention span but since he's had these letters and numbers he will actually sit with me for longer than 5 minutes and is genuinely interested.

My friend and her DP have made me feel like i'm being a pushy mum.
So am I being unreasonable?

Answer his questions as fully as he wants, and teach him what he wants to know. That's what all good parents do. You can't "push" a very young child into reading unless they're ready. If he's interested and wants to learn, then he's ready. Being pushy would mean you "encouraging" him to stay and learn way beyond his natural interest. Maybe your friends are unfamiliar with early readers or struggled to read themselves and feel that a child could only learn to read at that age if pushed?

feetwoodmac think the Stener approach is considered "harmful" for spiritual incarnation anthro reasons, although I agree basically that if a child isn't ready, to push them at such a young age is not a good idea.
What you say is right about learning verub fast when they are ready or want to- this happened with my youngest.

On the other hand, to positively keep a child from reading or even seeing text, books, letters etc, ( as happens ) is harmful if they are eager to know. To deny an inquiring child knowledge is entirely wrong.
Particularly if based on spiritual woo.

Thanks for all the replies,

I was an early reader and have always loved to read, My mum used to tell everyone that I was a bookworm as I was always reading something.

I read to DS and DD everyday and its something that I've done with both of them since they were tiny.

I only encourage DS when/if he asks me a question and I never push it if he looses interest.

My only concern is that I will teach him differently to how school will teach him when he goes and in me doing this I am going to cause him confusion which will then delay his learning.

Sorry about my typing
An example, probably , of someone who learnt to read ( through choice) at 3.
I should have given more time to my incarnating - damn.

TubOfLardWithInferiorRange- @ "pizza shop phase"- we had to even buy pads with carbon paper so they could do it properly.
One birthday my friend who owned a cafe gave our youngest a few of her order books- it was one of her favorite presents!
Now 9, she still invents menus and writes adverts for the delicious meals she sells....

Hi Dragonfly
I would continue to help him play with the letters if he is interested

I have reccomended a certain book elsewhere on MN this evening so wiil take the opportunity to do so again here!
How children think and learn by John Holt - well worth a read

Thanks Yurtgirl I will take a look