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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to charge friends?

45 replies

smurfgirl · 09/06/2009 19:15

My DH works in IT and gets asked a lot to set friend's internet and computers up. This week he has two 'jobs' to do for friends.

He has recently started saying that for a bigger job he will charge £20 to do it. The friends seem fine paying. It mostly started after someone he worked with 2 years ago was ringing him every single week asking for something to be fixed on her laptop.

The one he is doing this evening will probably take him 5 hours in total and it involves transferring the data from one computer to another and installing loads of software and setting up other bits and bobs.

He feels that he works with computers all day so if he is going to spend his evenings doing it it he needs something back. For little things obviously he would never ask for money.

Is it ok do you think? We feel guilty asking but equally it takes ages and sometimes people have just taken the piss because he is good with computers.

OP posts:

Tortington · 10/06/2009 13:35

dh knows a plumber, they play on a darts team together. this plumber tells everyone that he doesn't do jobs for friends.

i appreciate this and think its probably the way forward

BottySpottom · 10/06/2009 13:41

I can't believe these people aren't offering to pay for his time/give him crates of beers or bottles of wine. I wouldn't dream of asking people to spend 5 hrs of their limited free time trying to fix something of mine.

stealthsquiggle · 10/06/2009 13:41

Definitely charge. And set a limit - so £20 pays for (say) 2 hours (still a bloody good deal for someone who does know what they are doing). If/when you do need favours, there is then a 'value' set so you/DH could say "well as you know I usually charge but we could really do with your help with ...... so perhaps you could do that instead?"

DH and I have adopted the approach of being harder to get hold of than paid resources

TBH I tend to avoid using friends for jobs if I can, unless they need the business, as although I would take it for granted that I would be paying (in cash or in kind) I would still feel that if something went wrong I could lose a friend over it.

OrmIrian · 10/06/2009 13:41

Of course it is. He is an IT professional after all.

DH is a carpenter. And he is always being asked to do little jobs but no-one would dream of not paying him. Maybe the difference is that he was self-employed. Sometimes he will do something in return for a favour - he built a rabbit hutch for someone in return for some childminding in the summer hols.

MrsFlittersnoop · 10/06/2009 13:46

YANBU. AT ALL. My DH works in IT and is a real softy who never charges friends. We now has a list of non-paying "clients" as long as your arm.

He works long hours and weekends anyway, and I'm so fed up with him spending his precious spare time fiddling with other folk's PCs.

FabulousBakerGirl · 10/06/2009 13:49

I wonder if your friends ask your DH to fix their computer things because they don't want to pay anyone.

ABetaDad · 10/06/2009 13:50

YANBU. Never do stuff for mates that you nomally charge other people for. It only leads to resentment.

Frankly, I turn anyone down who asks me to sort out their finances. I just say I do not work for friends as it leads to a conflict of interest. Which it does.

ProfYaffle · 10/06/2009 13:53

YANBU. This has always gone on hasn't it? My Dad's a mechanic and has always fixed friends cars as 'foreigners' and got paid for it. V common amongst friends of his generation.

Hassled · 10/06/2009 13:57

My FIL, who was an electrician, had similar problems with neighbours constantly calling to see if he could pop round and have a look at this or that - he ended up just point blank refusing, but recommending someone else - i.e someone they would automatically pay. It sounds a bit harsh but he was just worn out by it all and the not charging vs. charging was stressful.

You're between a rock and a hard place, but I think your DH is quite right to either charge, or start recommending someone else.

PuppyMonkey · 10/06/2009 14:00

YABU. I'd charge much more than £20 for five hours work in the evening. Mates or not.

BottySpottom · 10/06/2009 14:01

Could he say he was tied up with work to do in the evenings?

DaddyJ · 10/06/2009 14:07

Agree with those who say Just Say Sorry But No.
Charging friends is just weird for both sides.

Having said that, I do a lot of IT support work for one person in our circle of friends
but he is immensely helpful with things that are important to me so it balances itself out.

Stigaloid · 10/06/2009 14:23

YANBU - he is providing a service for which he is entitled to charge (although would then be classed self-employed and would have to pay taxes etc) Spending 5hours doing someone's IT work is a rotten way to spend an evening away from family.

Or he can just say no and they can pay someone else to do it.

susiey · 10/06/2009 15:05

my dh is self employed running his own IT support business
friends have always paid him full rate as they understand thats how he makes his money!

family on the other hand never pay except his auntie who slipped him a twenty the other day! for doing some IT support for a takeaway or what ever

he needs to say noe hes busy

mumeeee · 10/06/2009 23:56

YABU, My DH also works in IT and often helps friends to sort out thier computer proble,ms. People have offered him money or bought him wine. But He would neve actually charge them as he thinks it is good to help people.

Monty100 · 11/06/2009 00:15

Smurfgirl - I have an idea (lightbulb emoticon)

What about (and for all peeps) getting some 'business' cards printed, passing them round to your 'friends' and they might realise its not all about favours. I meant there's favours and there's favours??

Was married to a builder - drove me nuts.

Monty100 · 11/06/2009 00:15

'mean' not 'meant'

ChippingIn · 11/06/2009 00:18

YANBU

I agree (with the majority of posters), he should charge.

I think CAT64 @13:34 put it well.

Also agree with the poster (sorry can't remember your name ) who said it's not tangible like hairdressers etc unlike a cabinet maker/plumber etc - it's also seen as an 'intelligence' skill rather than a 'manual' skill (being clever rather than physically doing something). It's also true, as others have said, that people do not understand how long it takes - even when you know what you are doing!

I've been on both sides of this and whilst I'll do anything I can for friends, got a bit fed up of aquaintances taking the mickey and did start charging them - but not real friends as it all comes out in the wash (for us), but if it's not for you, then he should def charge (and more than £20 - that's almost like not charging!!).

blondes - glad you put her in her place - cheeky cow!! Like you'd want to work all day for a bottle of wine! FGS some people really do take the piss.

JenniPenni · 11/06/2009 09:07

I am a graphic designer and CM.

I used to offer a BS service to my mindees (charged a low rate) but stopped that as I was asked all the time. I have the kids 10-12 hours during the day and then to BS nearly every Fri and/or Sat got too much. (I have quite a few part-timers). The money just wasn't worth the time apart from hubby. And I need time off.

I also get asked LOADS by friends with kids to BS - as they say I am 'good with kids' and know first aid well etc. and I am and do... but they expect this for free (they never offer anything apart from a meal perhaps - that often I would have to heat up/prepare anyway)... and I have done it often but it has just got too much and I have stepped back.

I also get asked by well-meaning pals to do their websites for them and they always expect this for free... they think I love designing so much I relish the opportunity to sit into the wee hours of the morning doing work for them for nothing . This includes technical stuff too, as I am quite proficient in this area.

Besides my CM work which has very long hours (plus tons of paperwork in non contracted hours), I freelance as a designer and am studying for a diploma in childcare... so my free time is precious... and I am keeping that for me and DH now.

I do free design stuff for a children's charity but that's different and that will continue.

Hubby is hands-on - as many of your hubby's are. He worked for his dad in SA in his renovation company for years, completely renovated our previous home for us... he is really good at that, plus a certain amount of plumbing, electrics etc. From putting up flat-packs for my sister, to helping friends lay their floors, to fixing mum's washing machine... he is always in demand.

TitsalinaBumsquash · 11/06/2009 09:10

My DP needs to start daying NO to friends, he is a wizz with computers and his friends really take the piss, he is constantly getting calls asking him to come and fix thier PC, he is going to start asking for either a small fee or some babysitting in return or something becuase some people just take advantage.

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