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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 11's too young for leg waxing? (no major visible hair problem)

33 replies

needtonamechangeforthis · 07/06/2009 23:29

yes, ok, will admit, am being totally judgemental here. But 11 FFS? The girl is blonde haired, has very fine downy hair on her legs, but was a little upset about it so has had it waxed, and will continue to have it waxed every 4-6 weeks from now on. Her Mum has posted it very proudly on facebook, and several of us are now faced with same aged girls with similar downy blonde hairs on legs being made to feel (by our DDs) like we're bad mothers cos we won't wax... (disclaimer... we are not talking about very noticeable & embarrassing hairs here, which would be a different matter).

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 07/06/2009 23:39

I don;t know that to say, apart from I am so glad I am not a prepubescent girl now. the pressure.

still, I suppose you could always laugh in chorus at this nonsense and that might put them all off.

failing that, offer sweetly to try a little home waxing and just do a tiny bit, very badly. while all the time protesting that its all rubbish and they don't need it, but you are happy to let them experience the pain that will stalk them all their lives.

thumbwitch · 07/06/2009 23:42

strewth, really? that's shocking.

I resolutely refused to do anything about my leg hairs for ages, as they were very fine and blonde and almost invisible - I had to give in when they started going curly around my ankles, and got slightly darker . I think I was about 16 when that happened.

I still rarely depilate in any way, and never above the knee, there's barely anything there!

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 07/06/2009 23:44

Poor kid.

Original poster
needtonamechangeforthis · 07/06/2009 23:46

MdmeD, you think exactly like I do re a bit of painful home waxing. That would have been my approach, except I know that DD and the other girls will say that it didn't hurt "XX" cos her Mum had it done properly. I despair of these people. Whilst I really wouldn't stand by and see a little girl suffer if there was a genuine hair problem, this is someone just trying to get another first and a mother needing something to do with her DD on a Saturday afternoon. What's wrong with baking or jigsaws or crafts? (OK, seriously judgemental now but have had the fall out all afternoon!)

OP posts:
purpleduck · 07/06/2009 23:55

I think I would explain that we ALL have hair from one degree or another, and that its NORMAL, and NATURAL, and that I will NOT pay for waxing

Poor girl though

brokenspacebar · 07/06/2009 23:56

Yes to home waxing, I attempted to wax my legs once, when I was a teenagers, it was eye-wateringly painful, put me off waxing for 20 yrs!

madlentileater · 07/06/2009 23:59

YANBU
we are mammals
mammals have hair
unless they are dolphins.

Original poster
needtonamechangeforthis · 08/06/2009 00:00

purpleduck, that's exactly what I said to DD. It just makes me so cross, I told DH and I thought he was going to burst a blood vessel. But wondered genuinely whether I was being unreasonable ( I have a tendency to be a bit old school). Seems like others agree with me tho

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 08/06/2009 00:02

Needanamechange, say she can have a full salon wax if she pays for it out of her allowance/pocket money.

would that work?

Original poster
needtonamechangeforthis · 08/06/2009 00:04

no, it's not the money, it's the principle MmeD. Even if my DD saved up for it, I'd say no at this age with no valid reason at this age.

OP posts:
SparklyGothKat · 08/06/2009 00:13

I know a girl who is 10, has highlights in her hair, fake nails and plucks her eyebrows... I am very judgemental on that one...

mrsboogie · 08/06/2009 00:18

eeeuwwww no!

jesus - I would have DIED at the pain of waxing when I was a teenager - I can hardly bear it now.

Original poster
needtonamechangeforthis · 08/06/2009 00:19

too much too young IMO Sparkly. Same girl referred to in OP is no stranger to professional manicures and has had more than one spray tan. I just can't get my head round it but thought perhaps it was just me.

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 08/06/2009 00:23

God, it is really hideous. poor babies.

SparklyGothKat · 08/06/2009 00:25

oh she goes on her mum's sunbed.. She is just 1 year older than my DD1, who like a bit of nail polish and makeup if we are on holiday (tiny bit of eyeshadow and lipgloss), but sooo different, wouldn't surprise me if she shaves her legs too.

I find it very wrong, I know that the 10 year old will be a high-demand teenager (like her sisters)

lou33 · 08/06/2009 00:25

it is too young

dd2 is a similar age and has friends who get it done

she thinks its bonkers too luckily

mrsboogie · 08/06/2009 00:29

she is allowed to use a sunbed? that is reckless! jesus wept.

SparklyGothKat · 08/06/2009 00:29

oh and she wears makeup to school.. Like I said I do judge the mum...

Original poster
needtonamechangeforthis · 08/06/2009 00:31

yeah, my DD says she thinks it's bonkers, but I get the impression she thinks I'm just an uncool Mum who won't let her do these things (happy to deal with that, will also be the "uncool" mum who isn't happy about alcohol at 12/sex at 13/drugs at 14) etc.

OP posts:
SparklyGothKat · 08/06/2009 00:33

Knowing what I know about her sisters, I know the 10 year old will be just like them.. oldest sister, sex at 13, STD by 14

Original poster
needtonamechangeforthis · 08/06/2009 00:36

that's frightening SGK. Tho I do appreciate that sometimes as a parent you can't be in control of everything your child does. I am just at some of the things parents condone so young.

OP posts:
SparklyGothKat · 08/06/2009 00:42

My Dd1 is 9 next week and she still like barbie (she is having a special barbie cake) She does have some learning disabilities but she is a baby still and I see the 10 year old the same, she is a baby, not a mini model

Original poster
needtonamechangeforthis · 08/06/2009 00:45

It did cross my mind that this girl could be modelling.. can't think of any other reason why she has all the treatments she does (other than that it entertains her mother)

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 08/06/2009 10:37

OMG! What is wrong with these mothers that are in such a hurry for their children to grow up?

My DD is 9 and has started to grow fairly dark hairs under her arms, I have spent hours speaking to her, reassuring her that it's perfectly normal and that she is far too young to be having them waxed/shaved etc and we will just wear clothes that don't show them off for now. I have also explained that if she were to remove them now they will just come back worse and she will be constamtly having to shave/wax, she seems happy with this so far!

I cannot imagine taking her to have her legs waxed at age 11!

My niece on the other hand is 12 and has highlighted hair, false nails, mobile phone, eyebrows plucked etc and I find it very very worrying, if they do so much so young where do they go to next?

leonifay · 08/06/2009 10:47

i have blonde hair, its always been fine, but when i was 12, i went to school in a skirt for the first time, one of my friends guy pulled up his trouser leg and said, yes your legs are hairer than mine. i was so upset i went home and stole my mums rasor and cut my legs up so bad i had deep scars for weeks!

my point is that she may be more upset about it than her mum is saying or than she is willing to let on. i dont think that 11 year olds should be waxing, but at the same time, if it makes her happier and more confident then whats the harm?