To ask "Whatever happened to reins?"

[Lucia39]

I regularly see very young children roaming, apparently, unattended around large supermarkets and stores, or wandering down busy streets, often several yards behind their parents/carers.

So what has happened to leading reins and harnesses? I remember that just after the Bulger case there was a sudden increase in sales but in recent years they appear to almost non-existent.

Harnesses are also an excellent means of containing young children in the appropriately designed supermarket trolleys, rather than the current trend of letting them sit in large trolleys.

So why don't more parents seem to use them? Or are they now, in our PC obsessed world, viewed as a Human Rights abuse of youngsters?

I have a 27 month old bolter, she wears reins!

I had a set for my DD but really didn't have to use them because she didn't wander off.

DS can be guaranteed to leg it at top speed at the first opportunity so he wears a cuddly lion backpack with a long clip-on lead for the tail, and which he adores.

Anyone who turns up their nose at reins should try an expedition with a bolter. I doubt many would hold the same opinion afterwards.

I loved mine as a child and tried to get my mum to use them when I was much to large as I used to pretend I was a pony when wearing them

I'd rather be safe than sorry, so if I had to be in control of two little ones, for example, I'd probably use the safety of the reins

too

I tried them with my DS when he was about 2. He was a terrible 'bolter'. However, sadly, he would just sit down and refuse to walk if I out them on him! .

I see no harm in them.

I've been extremely lucky not to need them. Ditto cupboard locks (nothing dangerous in the cupboards btw, just crockery etc). DD is happy to walk alongside us, grabs for a hand when crossing the road and has never run off. All utter luck.

However, have had a lot of negative comments about her not wearing them. In the supermarket I tell her what we need when we reach each section and she goes and gets it off the shelf and puts it in the trolley. She adores it. But I never manage a full shop without a 'where's her reins?' or 'can't you strap her down?'

Never needed with DS1, who was always happy to hold a hand or the buggy etc, never ran anywhere he shouldn't, so never thought of them. Tried them recently with DS2, little mr wilful non hand holder and he just won't wear them. Not throwing tantrums or anything, he's too clever for that, he waits until they are on and then wraps himself round the nearest post/person/dog/whatever and takes great delight in making sure you can't actually go anywhere while they are on.

So he pretty much stays in the buggy or the babyhawk

Haven't had a bolter so haven't needed them with any of my 4. Don't really like them TBH and am with smallorange about teaching them road sense from the moment they could walk. Mine are city kids too, maybe it's more of a concern for us?

"I always found reins excellent for a young child because if he stumbled I could prevent him falling flat on his face." Really don't like this. they're supposed to fall over, they're made small & soft for that reason - it's how they learn to balance themselves (dyspraxia not withstanding) and asses their environment for hazards.

Sorry, I disagree with most posters on this one. Unless you do have one that's a bolter or with a medical condition reins to me are a proclamation of lazy/overcontrolling parenting.

Ducking now.

I can't understand people who complain about other's using reins. Don't like them fine, don't use them, but don't complain about others who do so. And it is not lazy parenting!

I'm very much in favour of them if necessary,particuarly after once seeing a woman with a toddler walking beside her, while she pushed a pram.
The toddler bolted onto a busy road, she ran after him, let go of the pram which continued on it's way, it stopped on the busy road after almost overturning, all 3 were narrowly missed by an oncoming car.

I loved them. My eldest walked at 8 months! By 9 months he was quite happiukly trotting about full of curiosity and completely devoid of sense. He had reins and it meant you could allow him to do his own thing without being at risk of falling in ponds, down steps etc. He was so small people used to say 'oh poor boy is he ok?' and were open mouthed when they realised he was not even one!

My second had a party trick of hiding in rackes of clothes in shops which left me crawling on the floor looking for tiny legs. Reins were the only thing that let me keep him safe when out. could have done with some for my ex as well

They were a necessity for DS2 - he was a bolter and TBH a danger to himself.

my 30 month DD2 has them, blue leather ones which were DD1's 10 year ago!

She loves, them, and will often walk beside me, with reins on, and still hold my hand. I manily use them if we are out on a train ride, as she gets so excited when she sees the train coming down the track - she would prob run up the track to meet it lol!

I get lots of lovely comments (usually from older people) about how sensible it is to use them!

I love them

Did not need them for DD but DS at 15 months is looking like he might need them!

Always thought they were awful, in a judgey way as DD used to do what I asked and when, but now appreciate the need for them as DS is looking like 'bolter' material!! (LOL)

I could do with some, and my ds is 13!

Missismac - 'Sorry, I disagree with most posters on this one. Unless you do have one that's a bolter or with a medical condition reins to me are a proclamation of lazy/overcontrolling parenting'

The problem is you can ave a regular 'bolter' and a toddler who is very good usually and as a one of in a busy place, sees something they are interested in, and become a bolter. It only takes one episode.

Believe me, I had a friend who this happened to. Her DS was very nearly knocked down. He was never a bolter until that one time! We can fool ourselves about how 'clever' and 'well trained' our DC are until something like this happens. But you can never forgot that they are toddlers and instinct will win every time.

I don't agree its an either or situation. You can use reins and also teach road safety. I have used reins with DS and he is also very careful near roads.

The worst example I have seen is a parent 'explaining' to a toddler in the middle of the road why they shouldn't have ran on to the road. Luckily I was driving slowly enough to stop and then wait whilst they had this 'discussion'.

A classic example of when reins would have been perfect and when a 'parent' needs to get a grip

We use the backpack too. Mainly so that ds can carry nappies and wipes for himself and dd. He won't walk on normal reins - just dangles off them, Mission Impossible style!

my dd will walk quite nicely and hold hands are want carrying!
she is nearly 2.

so luckily i don't need them.
but i certainly do not judge other that do need them.

each child is different

We had some for dd but didn't use them much, more as a threat really, easier when you only have one child I suppose, I'm sure they are essential when you have more than one hand to hold, plus shopping etc.

Going back to the OP, I hate seeing children sitting or standing in trolleys and having to explain to DD why it's not a good idea.

Message withdrawn

I had two toddlers and managed without. Just felt it was safer that they knew when they HAD to hold my hand. Reins can potentially enable a child to feel it's ok to try to bolt in any direction. So the danger is you actually don't teach them basic rules and safety.

Obviously that's not always the case, and I have no doubt some people use them sensibly, but they really aren't a necessity.

I've never seen a toddler backpack so had a quick Google and found one for sale at Babyworld, as reins are, "frankly demeaning to both parent and child"

I have had more judgy looks when using a parent / child wrist strap with my DS(just turned 3) than I ever did when using reins. I don't know why. Probably looks like lazy parenting. Oh well!