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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Titanic argument about Slumdog Millionnaire

87 replies

Quattrocento · 07/06/2009 10:12

About once a month or so, I dragoon the family into watching a family DVD. Yesterday the DVD of choice (mine and DDs) happened to be Slumdog Millionnaire.

The film is 15-rated. The DCs are 9&11. I must say at the outset that I had not realised the film was a 15-rating. I thought it was suitable for children because a friend had taken her DCs to the cinema to see it (15, and 13x2).

Be that as it may, we were all safely esconced in the living room, with DSIL&Co when the opening scene, which contains some violence, appeared. For those who haven't seen the film, he was in police custody having electric shocks administered.

DH ERUPTED, and started shouting immoderately that this was totally unsuitable for children and after 5 minutes of shouting switched over to Robin Hood. Where several people were shot and one person was stabbed. I pointed this out and DH stormed out of the room.

I just wanted to fast-forward through the violent bits of SM. I wanted the DCs to watch it just to get some appreciation of what life is like for some children.

Obviously I was being unreasonable not to have checked the film classification but why couldn't we just watch the thing once it was here? And scoot through the violent bits?

OP posts:
Nancy66 · 07/06/2009 11:26

Goblin - because right from the opening scene of torture through until the end it is entirely unsuitable for younger children.

It has extremely violent content and shows shocking cruelty towards small children - very graphically.

Fantastic film and all true to life - but i don't think a 9 year old needs to see such things.

wb · 07/06/2009 11:27

I don't think that a film that includes torture, rape, several traumatic murders and the mutilation of children is suitable viewing for a 9 and 11 year old. At least I hope it wouldn't be.

SoupDragon · 07/06/2009 11:29

Nancy, you said it was suitable.

Nancy66 · 07/06/2009 11:32

doh - sorry. Missing 'not' - wondering why i was being singled out...NOT SUITABLE.

Goblinchild · 07/06/2009 11:33

Thanks SoupDragon. []

I've been teaching primary for over 20 years and am still surprised by what some of the children in the class have seen.
Imagine the kerfuffle if I brought it in for our topic on India.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 07/06/2009 11:34

Thanks for the link to the guide - and the views. Of course I agree that the film is unsuitable for children.

The point was it was there already ... IYSWIM. Both DCs seem unscarred by the film (where we did ffwd through the violent bits) although both have made thoughtful comments today about the way other children live. They were a bit horrified by the shouting though.

OP posts:
ilove · 07/06/2009 11:41

So you've let them watch it then?

Goblinchild · 07/06/2009 11:42

It was there already?

What's wrong with saying 'Oops, got it wrong people, I'm going to turn it off. This is a film for teenagers, let's watch Robin Hood instead'
How does your OH feel now? Are you going to let him choose the next time around?

Goblinchild · 07/06/2009 11:45

If they were more horrified by the shouting than anything else, then they really didn't understand the film.
Or you made it into such a jumble of fragmented images with the fast-forwarding that it ended up as poverty porn and they still didn't get it.
YABU, and I get the impression that instead of accepting it was an honest mistake, you'd rather wade on through the mess.

wintera · 07/06/2009 11:57

Someone else has already put a link on to the parents bbfc, so I would seriously suggest that everyone looks at that for advice. Of course, all children are different and some would be more sensitive so it's all horses for courses really. I have a 12 year old niece that would be fine with Slumdog, but another niece who is nearly 12 soon and I wouldn't show it to her as she would be very shocked and upset. They are completely different girls.

However, I think your intentions were good as it does sound like you were trying to show your children about the conditions of other kids lives, which is no bad thing.

I do find it interesting though that your husband turned it off and switched on Robin Hood. I agree that it is more cartoonish violence, but isn't that still a bad thing? The more catoonish the violence, the more kids think its ok. When my nephew was little he watched the wrestling on Sky which always bothered me. One day he shouted "Rock chop" to my husband and presided to do this chopping motion right in my poor hubby's windpipe. It was awful and left DH gasping for breath. And that was just something he had seen on the wrestling. So there is an argument that the more unrealistic the violence, the more kids don't understand the consequences I suppose.

SarahL2 · 07/06/2009 12:01

Dread to think what would have happened if the video shop had made a mistake and Saw II was in the box instead!

By the sounds of it you'd have still watchied it with a 9 year old cause hey, "it was there already IYSWIM"

No quattro - I don't SWYM - it was still unsuitable!

LolaTheShowgirl · 07/06/2009 12:08

I don't think it's suitable for children younger than 15. Have you seen the bit where they are blinding the children? That is truly horrific and I know it had a profound effect on myself, a 25 yr old woman, but if you fastforwarded these parts, perhaps it may have been ok.

aristocat · 07/06/2009 12:20

agree unsuitable for younger children but it was marketed wrongly as a family film so can understand your problem

Noonki · 07/06/2009 14:04

I'm a bit shocked that you let them watch it tbh.

Just do something else instead if the film wasnt what you expected.

PuppyMonkey · 07/06/2009 14:08

If that's how he reacted to the opening scene, I dread to think what he'd have done when you reached the scene with the, erm, eye thing.. I still have nightmares about it now months later.

This is NOT a feel good family film, despite what the current TV advert is saying.

semi · 07/06/2009 14:09

Agree with everyone else....maybe yours is calling to film producers to produce a spin off....seeing the slums anywhere, brazil, india is bad enough...but that's life for some people.....the creative in me feels inspired by what you were trying to do....maybe there's a kids character in the making there....who knows?

Original poster
Quattrocento · 07/06/2009 14:19

Ouch at the accusations of poverty porn. Oh dear. Perhaps I should let my DCs continue in their safe middle-class bubble ...

OP posts:
Devendra · 07/06/2009 14:39

Personally I don't believe in any kind of censorship but I would have discussed it with DC beforehand and asked if they wanted to watch.

bruxeur · 07/06/2009 15:22

Quattrocento, I completely agree. There is only one way to prevent your children from growing up in a safe, middle-class bubble, and that is to make them watch a film that is completely unsuitable for their ages and understanding.

I'm glad you have the whole-hearted support of both your DH and everyone on this thread, because otherwise you might have had to find a middle ground.

macdoodle · 07/06/2009 15:26

wow quattro are you not willing to admit just for a moment you may have been slightly ill judged - I have rarely seen an AIBU where everyone wholeheartedly agrees!

BitOfFun · 07/06/2009 15:29

You could just scoot through the violent, distressing and unsuitable-for-kids bits quite easily actually. Just hit fastforward thirty seconds in and keep going until about two minutes before the end.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 07/06/2009 15:31

Jolly helpful Bruxeur.

OP posts:
Original poster
Quattrocento · 07/06/2009 15:33

But I'm not disagreeing by the way that the film was not suitable for children. The bit where I and DH disagree is how we deal with it. And don't be silly, the film isn't violent from two minutes in to just before the end. It's a lovely film.

OP posts:
bruxeur · 07/06/2009 15:35

You're welcome.

BitOfFun · 07/06/2009 15:38

I thought it was unremittingly hideous, Quattro, but maybe I am not as robust as your children