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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that if the bus is full then small children could sit on their parents laps?

30 replies

cairnterrier · 06/06/2009 20:34

what do people think about this? Caught a bus yest w DH. Beautifully behaved family of Mum, Dad, 2yrs approx child and baby in a buggy.

The way that the buggy was parked blocked off 2 seats and the 2 year old was sitting next to his father on another seat. There were at least 5 people standing at the time as the bus was full.

Couldn't the 2 year old have sat on Dad's/Mum's lap? Could the buggy have been folded up to allow other people access to the seats blocked off?

Is it too difficult to do this with small children? Genuine q. as pg for first time so no experience.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 06/06/2009 20:36

i think you say to the parent would you mind terribly if your LO sat on your knee please?

I always sit DS on my knee on the tube when it is crowded

cairnterrier · 06/06/2009 20:36

Sorry, it sounds as though I was being sarcastic about the 'beautifully behaved bit'. The 2 children were wonderfully behaved and the 2 year old was chatting away about things outside the window!

OP posts:
independiente · 06/06/2009 20:46

YANBU. At all! I always sit my child on my lap if no more seats and an adult is standing. Totally badly-brought-up not to IMO.

IlanaK · 06/06/2009 20:49

Was there a child in the buggy? It is not clear from what you said. If so, then yabu to expect them to take it out and fold. yanbu to expect them to put child on lap though. However, I often get looks for sitting my children down on seats (while I stand as there are not enough seats). People think children should stand and offer there seats to others. I totally disagree as they are less stable and much more likely to fall when the bus stops. If an elderly person gets on and needs a seat, I think the younger sdults should stand and offer seats, not the children.

cory · 06/06/2009 20:53

I always took child out of buggy and folded it when they were little, if the bus was anywhere near full. Not really that hard.

Things are much harder now, when I have a wheelchair to deal with. And even harder when dd is not using her wheelchair, as her disability is then invisible, so she looks like the person that really should be offering her seat.

Noonki · 06/06/2009 21:00

YANBU

katiestar · 07/06/2009 11:26

I wouldn't sit a toddler on my lap on a bus (not that I ever go on buses ,but hypothetically)If the bus stopped suddenly you would crush him/her against teh seat in front.I would sit them next to me with my arm round them.
I would have just asked if they could budge the pushchair up a bit for a minute while I got into the seat.

plantsitter · 07/06/2009 11:34

This is a personal bugbear of mine. YES children should go on their parents' laps if other people want to sit down. I agree a parent with a child has priority over someone without but I would've thought sitting with child on knee firmly holding on is safer than child in seat as the child has further to fly forward in an accident.

Bonneville · 07/06/2009 11:47

Yes Plantsitter I also think its much safer with the toddler being firmly held on the knee rather than in a seperate seat (even if the bus is NOT full).

sarah293 · 07/06/2009 11:47

This reply has been deleted

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dorisbonkers · 07/06/2009 11:50

When I lived in Singapore and was heavily pregnant this used to wind me up. Whole rows on the tube of families with 4-5 year old kids staring up at me standing. Mind you, it's crap for manners. People on the tube sitting in a row would all fall down with narcolepsy. Once a man threw a newspaper over my head to 'chope' a seat I was heading for.

Saltire · 07/06/2009 12:16

It doesn't bu me as much as pensioners who sit in one seat and then fill the one enxt to them with bags and shopping trolleys. Then they glower at you if you ask tehm to move.
"Well I'm a pensioner" is what they say and I say "yes but your bags aren't are they and they haven't paid for a seat " and under my breath I say "and neither have you"

123andaway · 07/06/2009 12:34

YABU to expect them to fold the buggy. The space the buggy goes in is allocated for a buggy/wheelchair.

YANBU to expect the child to sit on their parents knee. I still sit my 6 year old (who I have paid for a ticket for) on my knee if the bus is full so that someone else can sit down.

expatinscotland · 07/06/2009 12:37

yet another reason i'm glad we don't use public transport anymore.

Lucia39 · 07/06/2009 12:39

You are not being unreasonable it is simple good manners!

Now where was that thread about good manners being over-rated?

BoffinMum · 07/06/2009 12:43

Um, if someone wanted a seat why didn't they ask the family to move the buggy? They may have been oblivious to the situation.

My personal bugbear is pg women who suffer in silence standing on the tube and then rant on MN about it. I guarantee that if you pluck up courage to mention you are pg, it will take no more than three requests for a seat before someone gives one to you with a smile.

sarah293 · 07/06/2009 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BoffinMum · 07/06/2009 12:44

But maybe not in Singapore, of course.

Saltire · 07/06/2009 12:50

Some of the buses I get have got the wheelchair/buggy space, but not all of them. So you can sometimes get the aisle blocked by shopping trolleys, buggys(folded or otehrwise) and huge bags of shopping. There are big compartments at the front of all the buses for storing these things,b ut no one uses them

dorisbonkers · 07/06/2009 12:51

My mandarin wasn't all that great.

And I think why pregnant women suffer in silence and then moan is because they want to avoid confrontation. I know when I had that guy chope his seat and barge past me after a 12 hour working day feeling like shit I was almost in (angry) tears. Having any argy bargy would have been awful when I was that sensitive and hormonal.

I did ask for seats on several occasions and since I carry my baby in a wrap often had to ask. I got a mixed response, ranging from someone getting up to someone suddenly falling asleep

Singapore's transport system is notorious for its manners towards pregnant women.

expatinscotland · 07/06/2009 12:52

LOL @ Salty, 'Yes, but your bags aren't and they didn't pay for a seat.'

Bravo!

Saltire · 07/06/2009 12:55

Expat - I can't take all the credit for that one, it was a mumsnetter who said it on a similar thread to this one ages ago. I read it and thought "yes, I have to use that"

BlameItOnTheBogey · 07/06/2009 12:56

BoffinMum - I disagree with you. I will never again ask for a seat after being yelled at when heavily pregnant for politely asking to it down. Middle age man told me that I was not entitled to a seat and that I should not travel in rush hour if I wanted to sit down because 'some of us have to get to work you know' (why he thought I was wearing a suit is beyond me). Everyone else pretended not to notice. No one offered me a seat and I got off at the next stop to cry.

OP - YANBU.

Bucharest · 07/06/2009 13:01

YANBU,
I'm ancient and was always made to give up my seat on buses for adults when I was a child, whether they be pregnant, old, or just grown ups.

I now automatically plop my 5 yr old onto my knee if a bus or train is getting full.

Rofl at Saltire...

BoffinMum · 07/06/2009 13:07

Ok Bogey, fair point well made. I would have told him to FO but most people would hate having to do that. And I probably would have cried while I did it, tbh.