To have told DH that moving to the seaside is a stupid idea!

[YaddaYaddaYadda]

DH has this long standing fantasy of chucking in London life and moving to Whitstable in Kent. While it's a lovely place for a holiday, but it would be bloody cold in the winter, there'd be nothing to do and it's tiny! I have an irrational fear of small communities where evryone knows everyone... But he keeps banging on about 'quality of life', cheaper housing, etc. Anyway tonight I got bored of hearing it and shouted at him. Am I unreasonable? I think we could move out of London without going all the way down to Whitstable but he's set his heart on the coast and won't consider anywhere else (but in some ways I just don't want to leave London)

I don't think there is a compromise then.

You can't move away from London and he wants the sound of the surf.

Could you perhaps rent somewhere for a few months to show DH the disadvantages. And maybe so that you can see the good points?

Oh, YaddaYaddaYadda, I would LOVE to move to the seaside. Am v jealous that you have such an adventurous husband, while I am stuck in Oxfordshire, miles and miles from the sea in every direction.

So (and this is purely for my own selfish reasons) you are being unreasonable .

If it helps, we live on a RAF camp - places that are notorious for the whole living-in-neighbours'-pockets-everyone-knowing-everyone's-business sort of thing you mention you hate. I hate this also, and we manage to toddle along reasonably anonymously, so it can be done.

What about Brighton? Is it just the sea he wants, in which case there are other towns that are a resonable size. If it's the whole small community on the coast thing that he wants then I would say that's more of a problem.

DH would like to live in a country village. His business partner lives in a lovely village in Kent with a big garden and everytime we go there I can see him getting all wistful, but tbh he wouldn't actually be there very much as he's a workaholic and it would be me having to cope with most of the downsides.

Remember that Whitstable is next door to Canterbury, a very buzzing university town with tons going on. And Whitstable is full of "down from Lun'ons" - you'll probably find that everyone in your street's from Islington.!

I'll move to Whitstable with your DH - am desperate to leave London and move down there!

Sorry, that's no help is it.

Orm's idea is a good one - could you take a sabbatical or something and go down there for a bit and see how it is?

i second brighton - its only 90 mins on train to london - its vibrant - its a city its cosmopolitan its middle class/students - mostly.

but the housing isn't all that cheaper i don't think

YABU - I went to uni in London and wouldn't live there again if you paid me

I now live a mile from the sea and love it. It's not London but it has it's own appeal.

Whitstable really is Upper-Street-on-Sea

We call Whitstable Islington-on-Sea!

Whitstable is fab!
We moved to rural Kent from Islington and I love it. But it is bloody cold, windy and boring in Winter!
and
if you think it'll be cheaper than London I'm afraid you've got another think coming

(hello Ffrecklefface! )

Whitstable isn't that tiny! I doubt you'd feel as if everyone were in on your private doings. But there are a lot of other seaside towns with more going for them. Isn't Whitstable really expensive now, because of London Types moving down there?

What does your DH want to do for work if he did 'escape'? Obv you could commute (at a price) back up to London from Whitstable, but sounded like he wants a complete change. Could you talk to him about this? Sounds like he's not happy. (Mind you, I'd be tempted to shout at my DH if he were banging on about one thing all the time, so in that respect, YANBU! )

I'd love to move to the coast, I'm liking the idea of Hampshire at the moment. I know it would be cold and quiet in the winter, but I'd rather look at the sea and freeze than my view of concrete at the moment.

The idea of walking to spend an hour on the beach, and cleaner air is so appealing so I'm afraid I think YAB(a little bit)U

We moved to Brussels from the SE Kent coast. I really miss it! It's great to have the city and activities on the doorstep, but to me you can't beat a bracing walk on the seafront (whatever the season) followed by a nice cuppa and a bacon sarnie on the pier, and the lovely country pubs.....

I really miss living by the sea.....

Whitstable is pricey though. Broadstairs is lovely, and even bits of Margate are meant to be up and coming! (Turner gallery and all)

I'm in Hampshire blissa - we have the sea on one side, the Meon valley on the other, the New Forest to the West and the South Downs to our right.

And we're still only 1 hr 20 to Waterloo if you need your London fix!

I live in somerset but have just sold in order to move to devon so we can live by the sea, great idea! I love the sea!

Slight thread hijak, looks as though the weather is going to be too wet for open air paddling on Tuesday. Shall we wait and see, or make contingency plans?

I think that my desire to live by the sea comes from growing up in south Wales, where the seaside is never too far away. Plus, we have only taken the dogs to the beach once, and they loved it. Would be nice to run them on a beach more often.