to not want to go the supermarket the minute I arrive on holiday

[fruitstick]

We are going to a holiday cottage in France tomorrow (driving).

As shops are closed on Sunday I was planning to take 2 days worth of food (pasta, sauce, cereal etc) with us in the car so we would be able to get there and settle in.

However, my husband is expressly forbidding this , says it's a ridiculous idea and we should go to the supermarket as soon as we arrive.

I don't understand this logic as the car will still be loaded with all our cases so we won't have room for a full shop, children will be tired and fractious after getting up at 3am and we have to get to the cottage to collect the keys before a certain time so will be under pressure.

I suspect he just wants to scope out the wine I'll as soon as possible (which will take him hours anyway) but is looking for an excuse.

Help me out, who is the mad one here ......

He is. Stand up for what you know is right!

YANBU - if he's desperate to go to the supermarket get him to drop you and the kids off at the cottage and he can go shopping (with a list!). If you're near a town you will almost certinally find a supermarket open on Sunday morning.

YANBU.

If you're really arguing about it, sneak some stuff in (couple of teabags, bag of pasta, tomato sauce) and just say Ok, YOU (ie DH) go down the shops when we get there and have unpacked if you want.

Then if it turns out to be too late and he doesn't feel like it you will be able to save the day with your emergency stuff.

BTW, bigger hypermarkets would be open til 9ish on Sat but a small town would have a baker's and probably a couple of small shops open on Sunday morning for essentials.

where are you going?

Cross-posted.

Haven't slept, we are going to Normandy, near Alencon. Fancy popping round with a casserole?

YANBU 'expressly forbidding' wtf? Tell him to feck off.

Or time him fine, he can do all the shopping cooking and feeding as he has obviously got it so under control.

We were in Cornwall last week and, for the first time we didn't bring shopping with us. Arrived, unpacked car, had quick cup of tea...and then went to Tesco . I would have sold dd not to go, I was knackered and totally disinterested so I bought a week's worth of shite just to get out of there. Baaaaaad idea IMO

Take some essentials to start you off. Go straight to cottage and make dinner for DCs and unpack. Send DH to supermarket.

We went to France a couple of years ago and went to the supermarket on Sunday morning having arrived on the Saturday. It was unbearable. It was crammed full of Brits and was impossible to move around. The only way to move was in the one direction and as people went through the checkout you could move forward by a foot or two...

With any luck it will be the same on the Saturday evening and you can put your feet up in the cottage having organised the DCs and the unpacking. Might be an idea to slip in a bottle of wine for yourself too

I kind of did this a couple of weeks ago (Normandy, too) - my mum & dad were meeting us there and I had a whinge about her bringing bacon and eggs ("They have pigs there, Mother" being my parting shot, as I remember) and at 4.30 on Saturday, after joining and leaving the Caen periphique more times than I care to mention, touring more of Normandy in one afternoon than we managed in the subsequent five days, I was not impressed with myself.

I agree with the suggestion to bang in a coolbag of essentials and send him foraging if he's so up for it - tell him you only want to take bits & pieces as who wants to go to Carrefour when there are so many markets!

Alencon market days are Thu/Sat, but if you check online or ask your hosts there should be others locally on Monday.

Right, I've hidden a box of cornflakes under the seat!

I've done all the washing and the packing for me and DSs so no doubt he will spend all evening in a flap looking for swimming trunks and I can load the car

I don't want to introduce a note of lecturing, but have you considered expressly forbidding him from denying you your opinion, by the way?

I mean, is he expressly forbidding you from lugging everything out to the car, for instance?

I know how it can get, DH & I are seasoned holiday-fighters, but nonetheless, I'd find it hard to take if he 'expressly' forbade me anything - it's a joint holiday, and it's going to be a little too late on Sunday morning with hungry kids for him to admit he was misguided - even if it all pans out fine, who does it hurt? (Provided you're not actually filling the car - a couple of staples to get by on though)

I think definitely approach him and say you disagree, and as 'insurance' you're taking some stuff, but common sense dictates that he does the shopping run while you get settled in.

Don't hide cornflakes - this is not a marker of a balanced relationship

to be fair he din't 'expressly forbid it', I may have been a bit harsh. But he did say it was ridiculous and we weren't taking them - I shall take them regardless, you are right.

I think when the conversation started last week I was planning to make a lasagne and he may have had a point then.

Next year I shall learn - start with a tin of tomatoes and work my way up

You made a meal plan, didnt you?

Never fear, if all else fails he can take you out to dinner, there's plenty of decent-value set menus out there - have a great holiday!

(Speaking of which - if you're in Thury Harcourt, a bit north of you on the road to Falaise, we had a very enjoyable family dinner at the Auberge Suisse-Normande)

Yes, carting a lasagne over may be overkill but it's definitely a good plan to take essentials.

I'm surprised your OH hasn't considered the possibility of you being delayed for any reason and therefore arriving too late to go shopping.

Hope you have a lovely time though

Have fun.

Well, IF you are driving through Le Havre I might run to some chicken sandwiches but otherwise you're on your own with a bag of pasta under the front seat (not sure if that's a sign on an unbalanced relationship, if so, I probably have one too.) Sometimes head-on is not the way to go.

Plus added potential smuggery

How dare he forbid you to do anything!!!! Even my exh wouldn't dream of doing that, but he was a greedy b***d when it came to food!

Perhaps you could expressly forbid him from being so ridiculous. Tell him what you are planning to take and how small a space it will take up in the car. There is nothing worse than having to start shopping when you're tired. And this is your holiday too, so you should have some say.

First of all "forbid"? Not on, no man forbids me to do anything ever.

Second, if he feels that strongly about it, let him know that HE will be the one going to the supermarket whilst you relax at the cottage. You could be gracious and do him a list if you were feeling kind.

i do feel a bit of sympathy for him (not with the forbidding nonsense of course), if he thinks you can't get to a supermarket till monday this would put rather a dampener on the vin and fromage aspect.

can you do a bit of research to see what is possible on sunday, or find a supermarket he can go to while you settle into cottage.

Last time I went to Normandy I ordered 3 days worth of meals from Cook and took them with us. They stayed frozen for the journey and went straight into the freezer. This meant that on the nights we ate in I didn't even have to cook as we could just bung the prepared stuff into the oven/microwave.

I always take milk, teabags,coffee, cheerios, sugar, vinegar, marmalade etc so I don't need to buy them when I get there.

So if you ABU I don't know what I am!!!!

Elk, I salute you.

Will you marry me?