to feel faintly nauseous when people wee like horses?

[triggerhappybaby]

There seem to be two types of people in this world. Those who can wee quietly and discreetly and those who attempt to crack open the bottom of the pan and sound like they are pouring a kettle full of water into it.

AIBU to suggest that, although a natural process, urinating should be a private process??

balloonslayer - you must have stronger thighs than me, I am always pleased to have a sit down!

I cannot do "number twos" if there is anyone else in earshot.

At work I used to have to go and find a quiet loo so that I could be undisturbed.

I am always gobsmacked at women who can carry on a conversation between cubicles punctuated by load farts and depth-charge splashes. I mean, good for them, but I could never < faints > . . .

[dainty emoticon]

I meant loud farts, but there is a certain poetry in the term "load farts" I must admit.

I could never go for a shit with my work colleagues or friends "listening".

OK on holiday or somewhere when the doors don't have big gaps, but in a work/public style bog, I just couldn't...

I think you need to get out more !

I know

The thing I don't like is ds aka "the storyteller" giving a comparative discussion piece to all the listening ladies. Usually along the lines of "Mummy the hole in those knickers is much bigger than the grey ones that used to be white before you forgot to wash them." Just before he throws the cubicle door open to his admiring public while my trousers are still around my ankles.

Noisy weeing is the least of my problems - the blood rushing in my ears from the embarasment usually drowns it out.

Ahh public loos.
I read somewhere that the first cubicle is the cleanest because everyone bypasses it, but surely that rule is obsolete by now because everyone has heard it and now use the first cubicle!
I also aim when peeing im quite adept at it now and almost always hit porclain first time.
I try not to poo in public loos but if im desperate then a bit of loo roll down the pan first will drown out any "plops"

you lot got me in trouble. i'm at the PIL, and only went on internet for some vital work stuff, then couldn't explain why i found it so amusing.

Thanks everyone - what a laugh you all are... isn't it funny how you can think you are the only nutter to feel a certain way - then you find a bunch more

It's only my second thread!!! Am I loved??!! My mooncup runneth over !!

Oh god not laughed so much in ages. Gotta get out more but this is funneee

pmsl so so funny, thanks!

Oh god the shitting at work thing.... I know we all try to avoid it but sometimes you just have to dump a load.

Now, be honest ladies, in that situation, if someone comes in after you've started your crap, do you wait around for AGES, til they've finished, washed their hands, dried them, fiddled with their hair and reapplied their lipstick before you emerge?

I was once christened Niagara after weeing outside the tent during a camping trip. I was quite chuffed.

Postscript - I am loving duchesse's post. The 'dear god' and 'people phobic' - priceless!

"Now, be honest ladies, in that situation, if someone comes in after you've started your crap, do you wait around for AGES, til they've finished, washed their hands, dried them, fiddled with their hair and reapplied their lipstick before you emerge? "

Only way to handle it is 'head held high' and brazen it out imo.