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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up with 'Non-Competitive' sports events?

66 replies

pointydog · 03/06/2009 19:48

It is beyond a joke.

dd2 was at a hockey tournament today. The team had a pre-tournament pep talk where they were told not to cheer if their team scored a goal and not to make any aggrieved noise if a team mate cocked up.

The teams were not told the final score at the end of a match and there was no winner.

This is all part of teaching 'Sportsmanship'. What bollox.

OP posts:
LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 04/06/2009 08:01

Agree Goblinchild, one of the reasons I won't watch football (and I like most sports) is the sheer scope of rudeness that the players are allowed to direct at the ref. It's such a bad example.

TigersChick · 04/06/2009 08:14

Totally agree about this.
A couple of schools I have worked in do a balance at sports day - they have team events where everyone has a go and get marked for trying () But that is followed by races. I suppose it was a balance as it meant everyone had a go at something but the ones who wanted to could compete properly.

How can anyone expect children to learn sportsmanship if they aren't allowed to compete? Crazy.

Don't get me started on footballers professional sports people and their behaviour

abraid · 04/06/2009 08:14

This was a factor in us leaving the state sector. We like our children to have the experience of winning and losing. The latter is sometimes as valuable as the former.

Ninkynork · 04/06/2009 09:01

Nahui that's interesting, I got a detention too, for saying, "cheer up, it's just a game", to the brainy kid who had been rubbished by the teachers for letting the team down etc

I once taught a little chap who was behind in all aspects of school except sport, football in particular. I know nothing about football but watching him in the playground, well he was something else, you couldn't take your eyes off him.

The HT was so impressed that despite the children being quite young at 7-8, he organised a friendly game against another school. But worried about their age and competition only one goal was allowed to be scored per child. The boy's Dad couldn't believe what he was seeing!

AliGrylls · 04/06/2009 09:05

agree it is a rubbish idea.

A little competitiveness is good for a child.

PolkSaladLucie · 04/06/2009 10:06

It's not a new thing, though.

I was really good at dance and I was not allowed to be part of the group dance my entire year did (year 8), as I would 'stand out' so they made me do a solo dance routine. I was so embarassed.

And when I passed the eleven plus my mum was told not to give me a treat as it would make the ones who didn't pass feel bad. She did, but just told me not to tell anyone.

I'm 25 btw.

renaldo · 04/06/2009 10:08

out HT makes the same speech at every sports day ( which has a mixture of sprints and egga and spoon type races) that life is competetive and so are sports! lovely state primary btw

Tidey · 04/06/2009 10:10

I hate DS's school sports day for this very reason. What's the point of anyone trying their best to win a race when no-one notes who won? In my primary school they had little 1st, 2nd and 3rd medals and everyone else got one saying 'I tried my best' or something, what's wrong with doing that??

ingles2 · 04/06/2009 10:13

I hear about this day in day out... you should see what our local football team is like!
They have 2 U 9's teams, an A team which is competitive and the B team for everyone to take part. Ds1 was promoted in the transfer period (seriously ) this year and OMG, you should hear the parents!
such and such shouldn't be in the A team, he shouldn't be playing there moan, moan,... it's constant!
The parents have to abide by the clubs rules, you can't shout, be aggressive, which is all fair enough imo but there is one mother who has had formal warnings for her behaviour
so, I do completely understand why schools want to avoid it.

Litchick · 04/06/2009 10:20

This sort of nonsense annoys me.
The great thing about sport is that it teaches you not only to win but to lose. And that having lost, nothing terrible happens, you dust yourself off and try again. That lesson is priceless.
DCs school are fully competitive. All matches whether A or D team are played to win, sports day is full track and frield events. Everyhting timed so if any records are broken they can be announced. You don't see anyone crying into their tea cos they lost.

Litchick · 04/06/2009 10:22

And you can make even the least sporty child feel great about themselves. Why not challenge children to beat their own best scores. Still competitive. Or think laterally and add in many different types of sport to encourage different types of children.

rasputin · 04/06/2009 10:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CMOTdibbler · 04/06/2009 10:43

When I was at school, the only thing that was competitive (no given out scores, ranking or prizes for academic work) was sports day.

I sucked at school sports - can't run, and couldn't see (I have poor vision and at the time huge problems with binocular vision which made any aim impossible).

At sports day we were forced to compete, and my humiliation as I consistently came last (or joint last as my friend with spina bifida would join in some events even though she was let off so that I wasn't so embarrassed) was immense.

So, I don't mind competitive sports events as long as children don't have to participate if they don't want to

rasputin · 04/06/2009 10:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotPlayingAnyMore · 04/06/2009 10:53

YANBU!

While I was sad that I wasn't very good at team sports at school, I was really proud of not only being one of the best athletes, but in the best school for county athletics. I don't know what I would've done without that motivation.

DS's school mixes children from different classes but cheering is still very much encouraged, the headmaster gives a "shout out" to individuals during their races, there's a summary of points after every few events and there's still a winning team who get to do a lap of honour at the end! It's a great afternoon and no-one feels left out - it's as simple as that

Gorionine · 04/06/2009 11:01

YANBU Nothing is stopping people to encourage the loosing team as well as cheering the winning one.

You would compliment a child that has done well with his/her school work, why not do the same to a child whose abilities are more physical than academic? I think at the end of the day it all balances out.

Litchick · 04/06/2009 11:36

Georine - I totally agree with you. I always shout for the other team, particularly if we are beating them. 'Well saved goalie', or 'well passed girls' is always nice.
Making sports day competitive, yet inclusive is not beyond the wit of man. Why not separate into ability groups, so children are competing like for like? Include lots of events so lots of different skills are tested. Put children who really, really don't want to take part, in charge of things so that everyone feels part of it. Every sports day needs commentators, stewards etc.
Why not split into houses and make the least sporty the Captain, so they can make decisions etc?
It aint rocket science is it?

Peachy · 04/06/2009 11:47

You'd have to know why they really do it

If it's non competitive stuff then yes, I think it's bollocks but I am wondering if it's an excuse.

At ours kids are always distracted by parents shouting (am guilty, shouted 'Go Ds2' and he stopped to wave so lost the winning lead he had and came 4th LOL). Didn't get to compete in day 2 either as foot got stuck to gym floor and he's now on a walking stick all bandaged up so good job he's easy going). Plus you get pushy parents comntesting results and demaning recounts and the rest (helped rn sprts day last year, was a revelation).

the kids aren't competitive- they just think it's all fun- but the apents- sheesh!

abraid · 04/06/2009 11:56

Non-comp. sports days make the most tedious viewing ever. I am so glad it's going to be our last ever.

Hulababy · 04/06/2009 12:21

You'll be pleased to hear that, this afternoon, I am off to DD's traditional style competitive sports day. There will be different races per class from standard running races to obstacle and novelty type races. There will be 1st and 2nd places acknowledged per class/heat. They get a sticker. The children participate on behalf of their house. At the end the winning house will be announced. These points also go towards the other house events and running ottal - really big thing at the school.

The children seem to enjoy it. I know DD does. And they all win and lose graciously (well so far - been to last 2). and they cheer like mad for one another, including for those who are finishing towards the end. The cheering clapping continues until every child is part the finish.

Infact the only OTT competive bit, when the winmning and losing really matters are the mums and dads races. Now that is serious business!!! They have shorts unfder their business suits and trainers tucked into briefcases, all waiting to spring out when their race is acalled. Sadly I have a throat infection and a very bad cough so I am unable to participate this year (again)

bebejones · 04/06/2009 12:21

IS it any wonder that we as a nation are crap at sports competitions if this is what we are teaching our children? I was not 'sporty' at school & at our school sports day you competed for your house, everyone was put into a type of race that suited their ability, so whilst you could have individual achievement in races every person got points (of varying amounts) for their house. Was a great day. How are children ever going to learn about the 'real world' if we shelter them from it. It makes me so mad. I think all achievements should be celebrated. Saying you can't cheer or receive acknowledgement that you did well is almost like being ashamed of their achievement IYSWIM. You can teach sportsmanship without rubbing it in the losing teams face. It is human nature to be competitive, no strike that, animal instinct!! What happens when kids get to secondary school then? Or into the working world? Makes for a bit of a shock if they have been sheltered from competition! Could be far more damaging IMO.

Gorionine · 04/06/2009 12:24

DH won the parents race ANd he was carrying DD4!.

But I am not competitive in the slightest!!

racmac · 04/06/2009 12:35

We used to have houses and get team points etc and we'd all compete against each other - the one year we had a swimming gala and one of the boys was entered into a swimming competition - he was terrible couldnt swim at all - but he tried his best and it must have been really hard for him to get into the water knowing he was going to do really badly in front of the whole school - do you know what the other boys finished the race and he was still no where near finished - the whole school cheered him on and gave him standing ovation .

newgirl · 04/06/2009 14:34

sounds very odd

at our state primary they have a sports day with the school divided into teams - they do circuits and one team wins and gets a cup

they also do running races for every class and about 3/4 of each class take part

ginormoboobs · 04/06/2009 16:52

Oh ffs.
What is the point in playing a competitive sport if there is no winner.

Doesn't it take the fun out of it. It would have for me.

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