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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that my dad should have got rid of the foxgloves in his garden?

72 replies

poshsinglemum · 03/06/2009 17:23

I have a 11 month dd.
He was surpervising her in the garden and I went out to see them and dd had a flower in her mouth.
I have phoned NHS direct and although it isn't an emergency we have 12 hours of worry ahead of us.

last weekend I told him to get rid of the plants as I said they were a hazard. He said he would do it next year.

I am soooooo and worried.

OP posts:

screamingabdab · 03/06/2009 18:06

I agree, lay off with the PFB !!!!

And it was the GRANDAD who was out there with DD. Poshsingle needed a rest.

Thunderduck · 03/06/2009 18:10

YABU.

However please be careful about leaves and berries.Many are toxic, and leaves and berries that you can't identify are a bigger threat than the known dangers of the foxgloves.

kittywise · 03/06/2009 18:12

It's his garden don't be so ridiculous

frogwatcher · 03/06/2009 18:17

The grandparents I know are far less risk aware than we tend to be now - not sure why?? Personally I think it harsh when people criticise grandparents for things they have done. In my experience with three sets of grandparents for my dds, all put them at risk in various ways more than I would. I think there may be two factors at play - age and a general slowing down of the mind etc, and also a difference in the way of bringing up kids. As such it is up to us to recognise it and decide if it is acceptable risk. They are not us and as such wont necessarily react to everything like we would. I can just imagine my mother picking a foxglove flower out of dds mouth and saying 'oh my dear, that little bit wont hurt her'. But then she did leave me stuck up a tree for two hours after a ladder fell down, and told me it would teach me a lesson!

mistlethrush · 03/06/2009 18:25

I picked ds up from nursery, and found him in a bushy area that has a little fence around - but they had been let in, supervised - he had a laurel leaf in him mouth!!!!

But I have poisonous plants, including foxgloves, in my garden - ds knows that he is not allowed to put anything from the garden into his mouth unless I have specifically allowed him to (eg herbs)

spicemonster · 03/06/2009 18:31

Foxgloves are really not that bad. Off the top of my head, I have foxgloves, deadly nightshade, euonymous, ivy and euphorbia growing in my garden, all of which are toxic. But I supervise my DS. I think it's unreasonable to ask anyone to dig up beautiful (and expensive!) plants but not remotely unreasonable to ask your dad to keep an eye out and make sure your DD doesn't eat the plants.

Luckily most poisonous plants taste very unpleasant so you'd be hard pressed to actually get down enough of any of them to do you any harm

LovelyTinOfSpam · 03/06/2009 18:32

My mum has always loved going around the garden pointing out which plants are toxic etc and how they can be used safely for medical purposes

Loads of stuff is toxic.

But you have to eat shitloads for it to do you any harm.

I don't think you can ask your dad to get rid of foxgloves - they are lovely, native and good for the bees and therefore for the environment. Your dad is bang on trend gardening-wise - he has his finger on the pulse.

Can't you just ask him to keep a closer eye on her and not let her eat any of the plants?

lljkk · 03/06/2009 18:51

In my repeated experience I have read that babies and toddlers don't swallow most items that they manage to stick in their mouths. They like to just taste and shove it around the mouth for ages instead. Overwhelmingly they swallow food and tasty things, but they don't swallow gravel, flowers, fluffy Easter chicks from the craft box or raw plant bits (not that I have any extensive personal experience, you understand ).

NeedaNewName · 03/06/2009 19:29

Yes when it comes to thngs that are dangerous I think you can stop them - you teach them to only eat things that you give them not to pick their own food.

I'm also pretty sure she wouldn't have eaten much anyway, must have tasted pretty bad.

OP maybe just ask you dad to be a bot more careful next time

Baisey · 03/06/2009 19:33

I used to dress my flower fairies up with real petals and often used foxglove flowers as their hats, I also used to dye their hair with the petal "juice" God knows how much of the "juice" got onto my fingers and was then ingested. (I used to obsessively bite my nails until they bled)
apart from the odd green tinge to my skin, the twitch in my left eye, and the fact I have no teeth im perfectly fine...
But to be serious, the best thing is to keep a close eye on her. Stop her from putting even the non-hazardous leaves and such in her mouth then she wont be confused. Hopefully by next year she would be out of the habit of putting things in her mouth.

Pogleswood · 03/06/2009 19:33

Out of interest,Spicemonster,why do you have deadly nightshade in your garden??It's not exactly the most lovely of plants IMO!I found hemlock in mine,which I had up like a shot...
Poshsingle,I do think YABU to expect your Dad to get rid of the foxgloves,but do you think he hasn't quite realised how much supervision a toddler needs?(I don't think you're being PFB either!)

sarah293 · 03/06/2009 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

spicemonster · 03/06/2009 19:39

God I'm sorry, was having a senior moment. It's not deadly nightshade, it's aconite Sorry! Although bergmansia is from the same family as deadly nightshade as is the potato (as I'm sure you know)

Original poster

poshsinglemum · 03/06/2009 19:48

Mabe I have been unreasonable - I think I may have been but he got rid of them as he did the same when I born to keep us safe.
We spend a lot of time at my parents' and it's not worth the worry. I do know that I can't keep going round expecting people to change their environment just because of me and I can't shield dd from everything blah de blah de blah.
I'm just so sick of worrying and I'm finding the getting into everything stage such hard work.

I think I should have posted this on parenting rather than AIBU but I would prob have got the same feedback.

The doc phoned me to reassure me that it wasn't that bad.

DD is fine and dandy! phew!

OP posts:

princessmel · 03/06/2009 19:49

Phew psm

spicemonster · 03/06/2009 19:55

Glad she's okay. That is an awful phase but it doesn't last long though, honest.

2rebecca · 03/06/2009 20:05

No. I had several poisonous herbs in my last garden and a few in this one. My kids were never left unsupervised in the garden when too young to understand about poisonous plants. Once they could understand I told them which plants they couldn't eat or touch. Never had any problems. I grew up in a garden with both edible and poisonous plants though so am used to the idea that plants vary in their edibility. As this is a grandad not a dad you sound a bit controlling and paranoid.
The kids are now better than my husband at knowing which herbs are used for what and which ones they can eat.

crokky · 03/06/2009 20:14

All those who are happy with foxgloves/other quite poisonous stuff - what do you do when footballs/smaller balls get kicked and thrown into a bunch of foxgloves? You have to touch it then don't you? I am talking about very poisonous plants (like foxgloves), not mildly poisonous ones - I just don't understand the point of having them?

Nahui · 03/06/2009 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

2rebecca · 03/06/2009 20:21

I love Wolfsbane(aconitum napellus) the root of which is extremely poisonous and I've always told the children not to eat any of it although much less poison in the flowers. lily of the valley is also poisonous, containing similar but less powerful toxins to foxglove although that is less widely known and used to be extremely common in gardens, like laburnum. I always watch children too young to understand. Your father possibly has worse plants than foxglove in his garden but you just aren't aware of their toxicity.

LovelyTinOfSpam · 03/06/2009 20:21

I think you have to eat foxgloves though to have problems, not just touch them.

2rebecca · 03/06/2009 20:26

If a football goes amongst my aconite I pick it up, throw it back and wash my hands. The plants aren't that dangerous though. If I licked my hands all over after touching aconite or foxgloves I still wouldn't do any harm. You have to ingest a fair amount to do any harm. Digoxin which comes from foxglove is beneficial to ailing hearts in small quantities. I suspect people with more knowledge of plants are more laid back about them as they know you have to have a serious chomp at them to do any harm.
Far more kids end up at casualty having found the calpol bottle.

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