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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset about getting a letter telling me my ds is 1lb overweight?

85 replies

Redazzy · 03/06/2009 13:46

My ds (aged 5.5)was weighed and measured at school in March and I got the letter today telling me that he is 1lb overweight. I feel unreasonably upset. I have isshoos with weight myself and really ensure that my children eat healthily and are active. Ds is very slim and does not look overweight. I have told a few people this morning about the letter and they were horrified that he could be called overweight.

Please tell me I am being unreasonable and help me get some perspective on this. Or indeed, tell me what I should be doing (if anything) to help.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redazzy · 03/06/2009 14:26

lljkk, that is it! I am grabbing that explanation and sticking to it! He is muscular!

OP posts:
BonsoirAnna · 03/06/2009 14:26

Then it sounds as if you don't need to worry . But you could always go along to your GP and ask him/her what he/she thinks.

OrmIrian · 03/06/2009 14:31

It does sound odd TBH. Perhaps a visit to your GP might help put your mind at rest. I think it's usually quite easy to see which children have a problem and it doesn't sound as if your DS does.

I can't remember where I heard that - about primary age children should naturally be thin - I think it was a child health expert expressing her opinion rather than a govt guideline.

Original poster
Redazzy · 03/06/2009 14:31

Actually he doesn't eat much dairy at all except in the occasional toasted cheese sandwich which he has about once a fortnight. His choice by the way, not mine. He doesn't like butter or unmelted cheese or milk. He does have one yogurt daily.

I will definitely review his diet and push more healthy options where applicable.

And I also wanted to explain that I am not against the weighing and measuring or the informing of results. It was just a bit of a shock as I truly believed he was a healthy weight. I feel disappointed.

OP posts:
BonsoirAnna · 03/06/2009 14:35

Assessing weight is not a science but an art.

I have a BMI of 19 and I am not remotely thin, even though I am right at the bottom of the "healthy weight" spectrum.

Original poster
Redazzy · 03/06/2009 14:35

I totally agree that to put my mind at rest it would be wise to see the GP. But the thing is, I don't really want to take ds to the GP and make a deal of this in his presence. The last thing I want is for him to have that awful sense of being judged about his weight. He doesn't have any negativity about his body and I would hate for that to start now because of this.

OP posts:
Tas1 · 03/06/2009 14:35

My friend has just had one of those letters.
Her 10yr old DD was 2lb over weight.
The school weighed the children in the afternoon, just after dinner!

OrangeFish · 03/06/2009 14:36

This measuring business at school is madness! you have a kid who seems fine, then get a letter that leave you worried about weight issues but you are not told how to go about them, how to sort them or how to approach the subject with your child.

It seems to me that this measuring at school business will bring far more problems in than it resolves

BonsoirAnna · 03/06/2009 14:37

I agree with your post, OrangeFish.

ChippingIn · 03/06/2009 14:38

Redazzy - he sounds like he has a healthy diet, plenty of exercise and 'looks' a good size - please don't give this stupid letter another thought. Sending a letter to say he is a POUND over what the current guidelines say is the right weight for every child in that height/weight bracket is daft. Don't let it upset you.

Don't be disappointed - he IS a healthy weight/size.

gagarin · 03/06/2009 14:38

If anyone is interested this is where the online anonymised results are by area..

www.ncmp.ic.nhs.uk/

Mintyy · 03/06/2009 14:42

My DS is slim but not skinny skinny. You can see his ribs, but I think that is completely normal in little children?

Like op's DS, he is 6 in September. He measures 1.18m and weighs 3 stone 4lb.

OrmIrian · 03/06/2009 14:42

If it's any comfort to your redazzy I am fully expecting my DD to come up as on the heavy side for her height next year in Yr6. She has been skinny all the way along until the last 18m - she isn''t fat now but I can see is carrying more weight than she was. I am 99% sure she is heading for her first period soonish.

DS#1 is quite frankly fat these days. He does eat a lot but mostly good stuff and walks/cycles to school and back every day as well as other outdoorsy stuff. I am not going to put him on a diet other than saying no the late night requests for snacks I am waiting for a growth spurt as I am expecting that he will be like my DB and go from chubby to very tall and thin in a short period of time.

DS#2 is a typical 6yr old. Atm he is slim and above average height. But I don't expect him to stay that way forever.

I have stopped worrying TBH - I try to keep an eye on them and what they eat, and encourage exercise. But it can't be allowed to take over their lives.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 03/06/2009 14:45

Redazzy - you shouldn't feel disappointed. He is a healthy weight for him if he has no tummy fat. BMI can be so so misleading.

I have always struggled with my weight and it is one of my worst fears for DS so I know exactly where you are coming from.
If I was in your position then I wouldn't be thinking about restricting anything. If he is carrying any excess weight, and it's a big if, then as long as he continues to eat healthily and be active then he will grow into it.
I think you are very wise to be cautious about broaching this in front of him, could do far more damage in the long term.

Original poster
Redazzy · 03/06/2009 14:47

Your ds is a healthy weight Mintyy.

OP posts:
Original poster
Redazzy · 03/06/2009 14:51

Thanks everyone. I will be even more vigilant about sweet snacks and will ensure that he keeps eating well and getting exercise. I appreciate your support, help and kind words.

OP posts:
RustyBear · 03/06/2009 14:53

Don't blame the school - they only provide a location.

I was working in the school office when they weighed the Y6 last year & I wasn't allowed to see any of the weights, or even which children were weighed - all I did was provide an alphabetical list & give the nurse the forms from the parents giving or refusing permission & saying whether they wanted to see the results or not. Anything else is down to the health service.

Original poster
Redazzy · 03/06/2009 14:59

Rusty I don't blame anyone. As I said, I don't have a problem with the measuring or informing parents. It really is 'my' issue.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 03/06/2009 16:29

At that age, he could have a little growth spurt over the summer, and it even off and I would guess that the school nurse didn't express any concerns about your DS's weight/BMI.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 03/06/2009 16:33

1lb!!! Someone's taking the piss here. Ignore it, it sounds like a standard letter they send to all parents who's weight is not 'ideal', whether 1lb or 50lb overweight. 'Normal' weights are just an 'average' for the 'average' person so mean nothing. There's always going to be people who's normal is above the average or below. It means nothing.

jimblejambles · 03/06/2009 16:43

We got a similar letter in April saying ds1(5.5) was 300g overweight and at risk from lots of health issues.
We put it in the bin.

ABitStretched · 03/06/2009 17:21

I jumping on this a bit late but would like to offer a different POV. Most posters are either very angry abut this and some are taking it seriously. Can I offer an alternative? That is hilarious!!! If I took that letter down the pub with my mummy friends and read it out after a couple of glasses of wine we would be rolling on the floor laughing.
I understand your POV - I'm always being told helpful things about ds2 like -'its just puppy fat', 'he'll grow into it', 'maybeif he didn't eat so many biscuits....' ds2 is just 2 years and weight 2st 5lb - same as a 3 year old, and he looks it too but he is 98% height on growth chart and 91% on weight and for other reasons sees paed regularly so I have never been remotely concerned about his weight - but it is bloody annoying when you get unsolicited advice.
Keep the letter in a safe place and then when your ds is a 5ft 10'' skinny teenager weighing 9 stone because he won't stay still long enough to eat anything, dig the letter out and have a good laugh. Plus in the future it will be worth a fortune as an historic example of the constant mindless interference from the government parents currently endure.

gingernutlover · 03/06/2009 17:34

300g ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

ROFL

mermaidspurse · 03/06/2009 20:08

This is exactly why our school refused to be part of this testing programme. you should write to the governors who agreed to tick yet more boxes.

BonsoirAnna · 05/06/2009 13:42

Yesterday I took DD to the GP and noticed that in the French equivalent of her "Red Book" there are, in addition to the same height and weight charts as in the NHS Red Book, BMI charts from age 0 to age 22.

They answer some of the points queried on this thread, namely that a baby's BMI increases rapidly from 0 to 13 months and then drops off again in a curve, reaching its low point round about a child's fifth birthday, when it then starts to rise again, with a steeper rise during puberty, finally steadying off at age 21.

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