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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

about DS's nursery photo's...

49 replies

glaskham · 03/06/2009 09:41

DS had his nursery photo's taken yesterday. I had put him in a twice ironed (as in i re-ironed it first thing so it was 100% crease free!!) polo shirt... not just a plain white one either, it was a school polo with the school bagde on the chest. It was perfectly clean and looked lovely.

Anyway, DS comes home yesterday and says the teacher made him put a school jumper on for his picture and messed his hair for the picture- which he'd got me to spike it in the morning so it'd look 'cool' for his picture. He was really upset that his hair was messy and not spiked for his picture...

AIBU to think its not up to the teacher to decide what my DS wears for his photo? I wanted him to have his photo in his polo shirt... and last years photo was taken in his nursery jumper, i wanted him in his polo shirt this time....

OP posts:

Legacy · 04/06/2009 11:25

Did you also get him a tattoo and an earring to finish the 'cool' look??

maxybrown · 04/06/2009 11:36

Well, being someone who works in primary schools, I would say that is strange. We have only ever put jumpers on children in class photos, and then only when they have not come in uniform.

I have been lucky to work in a brilliantly caring school and we always try and make them look "tidy" - not altering what you have done, (ie the hair) but cleaning children and making them presentable if they have been er how shall i put it, not well cared for, but never with children like your DC and what you've described!

nappyaddict · 04/06/2009 20:16

amidaiwish I would be annoyed if they had done that to my child's hair. Brushing it is one thing or neatening up hair bands, clips, pony tails etc alredy put in by parents, but completley changing the style

clam · 04/06/2009 20:34

Was this for a class photo or individual? I only ask because round our way, we have the individual one shortly before Christmas (so people can buy up loads as presents for grandparents ) and the class one in the summer before they all move on to the next class. In this class one, I've frequently seen the photographer ask kids to remove/put on sweatshirts according to where in the group they're sitting so it looks more symmetrical.

Doesn't explain the hair though.

janeite · 04/06/2009 21:42

OP - YABU.

Rasputin - totally agree with you re: the hair. Why on earth would a nursery-aged child require spiked hair?

Shakes head, tuts and picks up knitting again.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/06/2009 22:05

seems weird - if the nursery wanted children in jumpers - then they should have said

i would be annoyed about hair as well!!

ellingwoman · 04/06/2009 22:08

The photographer makes the decision. Sometimes different colours look better against the backdrop?

sagacious · 04/06/2009 22:17

Ds's school photo he was covered in orange juice stains as the photo was taken directly after break. There was a note it could be photo shoppped out but we decided not to as that is exactly what ds is like.

His hair was also a mess as we'd got up late and it hadn't even had a brush.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/06/2009 22:19

sagacioussilly school

we have our school/nursery photos at 9am - very wise

sagacious · 04/06/2009 22:20

ach well I wasn't that bothered TBH thought it quite funny##but yes 9am VERY sensible !

TheFallenMadonna · 04/06/2009 22:29

My DC always look like themselves in school photos. Odd expressions, missing teeth, a bit of dirt, a massive scrape down the face on one occasion. And neither of them ever smiled at all in nursery photos, despite the very best efforts of the photographer. They look out from pictures all serious and slightly disdainful. I love their photos

cat64 · 04/06/2009 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

glaskham · 05/06/2009 09:00

My DS wears gell most days unless his hair has been fresh cut as his hair just looks thick and messy when its not, and he likes a bit of gell 'to look cool like daddy'- his words not mine!!

The jumper is just as much his uniform as the school polo is, it has the school badge on it and cost the same as the jumper!! They dont need to wear uniform if parents dont want them to on a daily basis, but i send my DS in uniform.

There was no mention of bringing jumpers for photo's... and surely the fact i'd sent him in a clean polo meant i wanted the picture in the smart polo?? no??

OP posts:

supagirl · 05/06/2009 09:43

I think yabu tbh

How are the teachers supposed to know/remember how each parent wants their child presented in the photo's?!

Nursery/school photos are always going to be hit and miss - we've had some great ones and some awful ones. The fact is they are optional so if you don't like it then don't buy it and get your own taken with LO dressed and styled exactly as you wanted.

There are far more important things to worry about than this imho.

titchy · 05/06/2009 11:30

You gel your child's hair every day. For nursery.

Hoorayhenrietta · 05/06/2009 11:37

Oh come now - spiked hair on a little one - not natural I'm afraid....I really cannot see what the problem was
I think you should certainly play this down with your DS and not make it it obvious you are so disappointed!

Morloth · 05/06/2009 11:47

Meh who cares. I forgot it was photo day today we will get what we get.

TheLadyEvenstar · 05/06/2009 12:08

DS1 is 10 and it is very very rarely i allow him to have gel on his hair. I don't think it is needed especially not on a daily basis and on one so young.

Think of the damage from the alcohol in gel.

Overmydeadbody · 05/06/2009 12:15

If you didn't actually tell the tacher in the morning that you wanted your DS to be photographed in his polo shirt then YABU, she is not a mind reader and wasn't to know.

(PS there is no apostrophe in photos)

mistlethrush · 05/06/2009 12:38

Our nursery photos were great - ds looking disheveled as he always does. First school photos a shock - he had his hair neatly brushed - I'm sure he looked himslef again 5 mins after the photo was taken

megapixels · 05/06/2009 13:38

YABU. The teacher wouldn't know that your child absolutely had to be photographed in his polo shirt only. It does seem a bit unnecessary that she put a jumper on him though. Maybe a group photo was done first so she put it on to make them all look uniform?

In one of my dd's school photos she looked a complete mess, and by that I mean that half her hair had come out of her ponytail and was hanging over her face. I wondered why on earth no one thought of tidying her up. Sucker that I am I bought it though.

I'm that your little one has an opinion as to how his hair is styled, even my nearly 7 year old dd isn't that tuned in about "cool" appearances or latest styles, and lets me comb her hair how I fancy.

katiestar · 05/06/2009 13:39

Did you tell the teacher, or just expect her to be psychic ?

nappyaddict · 06/06/2009 10:23

I think if some of the children weren't even in uniform cos it is optional then there is no reason that she would need to put a jumper on him, unless there was a group photo done, which you already said there wasn't.

Gorionine · 06/06/2009 10:31

YANBU Last year I did not send DD1 with a cardigan because she had a very nice shirt. The teacher decided that she really needed one for the picture and they gave her one from the lost properties, they could not even bother to give her one that actually fitted her and she looks ridiculous with sleeves that are really obviously too short and with very faded colour.

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