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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to go out tonight?

18 replies

fucksticks · 03/06/2009 08:37

I am too too tired!

Background: I made a comment last week about how nice it is for DH that he can go out for drinks after work. He commutes to work so is out from 7am till 8pm every week day at least. I cant often go out on a week night as by the time he gets home and then I go anywhere its 9pm and thats too late to start a night out for most people!

Anyway, he has told me to 'keep Wed night free' but wont say why. I'm guessing he's taking me out for dinner or something like that.
We havent had a night out just the two of us since about 8 months ago when we went to a wedding party! (lack of babysitters and lack of money!)

BUT DH was away Fri morning to Sun night on a stag do, he was out last night till 2am, is out again Thursday till late. The children are being nightmares at night and I havent had more than 2 hours sleep in a row since last week.

I am too tired to go out tonight, get to bed later than normal and then carry on with sleepless nights as per usual!

AIBU to call DH at work, insist he tell me what plans are for tonight and get him to postpone to another night?

OP posts:
ItsAllaBitNoisy · 03/06/2009 08:44

YANBU

AddictedtoCrunchies · 03/06/2009 08:56

YANBU
Tell him if he's planned a surprise, you'd prefer it if you could go to bed at 7 and he can take charge.!

AddictedtoCrunchies · 03/06/2009 08:57

Ooh I didn't mean that in a rude way... I meant you can go to bed to sleep at 7 and he can wash the pots and do the ironing.

PuppyMonkey · 03/06/2009 09:05

YANBU. Anyway, you can't go out tonight purely because it's the interviews on The Apprentice, BBC1 9pm. You would be insane to miss it.

tonysoprano · 03/06/2009 09:07

I think you should try and put your tiredness to one side and make and effort to go out with your hubby. You really will enjoy it once you're out and life is for living. Get out there and have fun....don't forget the under eye concealer!

Tortington · 03/06/2009 09:08

tell him to keep tuesdays and thursdays free - he is watching the kids whilst you go out

Boys2mam · 03/06/2009 09:08

I think YAB a teeny bit U - poor bloke has listened to what you've said and it sounds like he's made plans, how many blokes on here get berated (sp?) for not bothering

Maybe you should try talking to him about all his activities outside the home and helping you out more?

nametaken · 03/06/2009 09:09

Go out - I know your tired but you complained your dh doesn't take you anywhere now he's organised something and you're throwing it back in his face.

ring him, be nice, and say you're really looking forward to going out tonight but would it be OK to be home by about 10 for a (reasonably) early night.

Going out will help your tiredness, not make it worse.

(I'm sure mumsnetters think I'm just an argumentative old cow, I always seem to say the exact opposite to everyone else)

pjmama · 03/06/2009 09:14

I agree that you should make the effort, you'll probably really enjoy it once you're out. It sounds like he's trying to do something nice for you, he might not do it again if you upset him!

I'd have a word about the distribution of labour though! He sounds like he's getting far too many nights out to me!

slayerette · 03/06/2009 09:22

I agree with those who say you should make the effort - if you hadn't said anything then fair enough to say you're too tired tonight but it seems as if he listened to your complaint and is acting on it! That makes him unusual to say the least - do you know how many women long for their partners to do something spontaneous just once over the course of their relationship - so if you now turn him down, don't you dare come on MN ever again complaining that he doesn't do anything for you

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 03/06/2009 09:59

A go out from me too.
My dc's were with their dad last weekend and I was shattered, DP and I not been out in months and the children had been ill I had been ill and nobody had, had a decent nights sleep for weeks and I needed a really good rest.

But we went out as we finally had the oppertunity, went for a chinese then onto the cinema. Never got to bed until after 2am in the end and the next morning I was up bouncing about full of beans because that little break in the momotony of sleepless nights and sick children had done me the power of good, I realised afterwards how much I actually needed it.

So spend a bit of time making yourself gorgeous and go and have a good time.

mychildrenarebarmy · 03/06/2009 10:14

Go out and have fun. Don't be such a stroppy mare. I'm only saying that because I was earlier in the year for similair reasons and ended up being very red faced when our night out turned out to be a very lovely trip into London to go on the London eye. I felt very guilty as it was something that DH had been planning for a while and had saved the money to pay for from doing overtime. Served me right for being so bloody miserable!

Enjoy.

Original poster
fucksticks · 03/06/2009 19:20

Update - I'm going out! Lets just hope I stay awake throughout dinner

OP posts:
pjmama · 03/06/2009 19:22

Have a large one for me!

pinkstarfish · 03/06/2009 19:26

Enjoy!

pjmama · 04/06/2009 09:24

Did you have a nice time?

Original poster
fucksticks · 04/06/2009 13:20

Yes, I did, thank you for asking!
It wasnt a late one, but it was lovely to have some time to ourselves. Have decided to do it once a month going forward if we can!

OP posts:
CowWatcher · 04/06/2009 13:25

good for you. Date night can keep relationship alive. Hope you sleep well tonight though.

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