AIBU to kill/divorce/torture my DH for the immortal phrase....

[JoPie]

"I don't know what you do all day, this place is a total mess"

What did I do all day? Ah you know, nothing much, fed, watered and suncreamed 2 small kids ad nauseum, changed nappies, played in the sun, broke up 400 fights in the sun, 2 loads of washing, school run, waited for the AA man when my car broke down on the school run, hoovered, made a lasagne from scratch....plus you know, day 200whatever of growing another offspring for you....all with painful sciatica.
So excuse me that I left the dishwasher full.

Sorry. Had to rant somewhere. Carry on now.

he said I didn't have to do anything during the day (housework wise).

ladyofwaffle he said you didn't have too?

"He is refusing to apologise and has gone to bed. Baby."

He probably had a hot and stressful day. He said the wrong thing. He knows he has done wrong. He is feeling guilty. He is not likely to be asleep up there.

You could go and take a couple of cool drinks up and stay for a chat. He'll crack.

Trust me on this.

"Take a couple of cool drinks up" ---- WTF, is she the barmaid now???

LOL my dh stopped saying that to me when he started working from home one day a week.

Agree with everyone that a week away day out is needed for you...

Tomorrow, you wait until he goes to work. Then you make sure that the sink is full of dirty dishes, that the dirty nappies are strewn over the floor , meeting him when he comes in, throw the wet towels on the bed, empty the toy box all over the lounge floor, spill a carton of Ribena on the best cream rug, do some 3 year old type graffiti scribbling on the kitchen wall, leave a pan of beans boiling on the stove until it sets the smoke alarms off, ensure the kitchen bin is overflowing with stinky rubbish, stay in your olest torn PJs all day, don't have a shower or brush your teeth, let the kids play in a mudbath in the garden for an hour and when he comes in, tell him that this is what you DON'T do all day

Just asked my DH - he said YANBU at all!

Tell him my DH gets in from work and says 'does that washing need to come in? I'll go and do it?' after taking the baby from me and getting the supper I've cooked on the table, then tidying the front room

Your DH needs some lessons!

stitchtime - its about winning the war.

The OP has had a hard/hot day and her DH has been helpful in the past. Now a battle has ensued as DH said the wrong thing and not doing enough either.

Maybe if the OP goes up with a nice cold drink she will claim the moral high ground, and can then talk. She can say she is really struggling and negotiate a better share of the work around the home.

I think he will say yes - he will not be in a position to say no will he?

OR....

They could go to bed on an arguement and everyone wakes up feeling rotten and the OP gets no more help than she had before.

I think you have a good approach EvenBetaDad. Have tried similar approach when argued with dh, worked.