In-laws having put DD down slide

[pamelat]

Some context.

DD 16 months.

In laws are good grandparents, nice people. On Friday night they had DD for us for the night, lucky I know.

I dropped her off 5pm.

Normally bath and bed not long after 6pm but in an attempt to be mellow/flexible/reasonable I said that as long as she was in bed by 730pm they could do whatever, their shift etc etc.

They took DD to the pub at 6pm to meet some friends. Fine with this.

Next to pub is a park, more for older children really. Previously on this park FIL had said "oh lets send DD down the slide" and I had said no, its too grown up.

She goes down slides quite happily but this was really high and helter skelter style so less control coming down, IMO.

Today we visit them and he takes her to the top. At this point, MIL said "she didn't like it on Friday" and tells me how FIL had climbed to the top and sent her down it and she had cried because it was "steeper than they expected" !!!! Its bloody high.

I didnt say anything as dont want to upset relations etc but I feel miffed that

1. they had clearly done something which only weeks before I had asked them not to.

2. IMO they had put her in danger, not intentionally of course as they love her.

3. FIL was clearly trying to repeat it again today when he knew DD had not enjoyed it Friday.

So, AIBU?

So hang on, she's 16 months and he took her to the top of a big windy slide and let her go, or went down with her? If he let her go down on her own I'd be bloody furious, particularly as dd (samne age) has a tendency to bend her leg behind her on slides and I always think she'll break her leg. At that age they don't know how to position themselves safely when they are going down as dd doesn't.

yanbu, you know what she likes and what she is capable of and they should respect your judgement.
my dd is 22 months and loves all slides but her shoes have a tendency to stick and she has nearly fallen from a couple, luckily we go down steep ones with her or stand at the side.

YANBU I would have a word.

YANBU. Putting aside the safety issue, parks are supposed to be fun for kids and if she didn't enjoy the slide, why try and make her do it again? [hmmm]

YABU. It's hardly something to get steamed up about - sounds like mil has already pointed out to fil that your dd was unhappy. Fil made an error of judgement - we all do from time to time. If you honestly feel they are incapable of ensuring your daughter's safety then say something. Otherwise - then rejoice in the different influences and experiences she is getting. Her feeling scared is a useful experience for her. I'm assuming it was just a passing panic not hours of sustained fear?

Not steamed up, this is me *calm& ish Normally a lot less reasonable than this!! Must be the heat.

Yep he took her to the top (about 20 steps high) and put her down it.

MIL waited at the bottom so it wasnt a sending her to a certain death experience, but still high for a little one.

And I agree, I do things that are semi dangerous (like let her climb up things and jump down) but there is no way I would have let her go that high.

Not massively miffed, but just a bit put out about it.

If she had come to any harm, then I would have been furious.

I might take a photo of this slide for you! Its higher than most people would send a toddler down, IMO.

Yanbu, because whatever the decision, you are her parent and they have done something you clearly did not want them to do. They are undermining you.

Pamela I don't think YABU in a way. My dad does similar things, he used to try and get me to eat garlic soup (stick with me here) and I hated hated HATED it but he would insist I try it every time he had it. Obviously there are other examples of this sort of thing but you get the point.

Dads, Grandads and men in general IME never accept that something isn't in your taste, or you don't like it or its too high in the example of the slide. They just think that because you have had a sleep since they last tried that you will forget you don't like garlic soup, or that DD didn't like the slide....

I think the GIL's are probably mortified now that DD didn't like it but I bet he will try it again, thus proving my theory on men-folk

YANBU for two reasons

1 - it was against your wishes
2 - she obviously didn't like it

Don't over-react though ...a quiet word in MIL's ear should be enough