or is DH?

[Numberfour]

Dh is having a difficult time at work to the point of wanting / needing to end the partnership and go out on his own in his line of work.

I have a LOT of admin type work to do (childminder, due for inspection and studying part time) and in our small house i think it would be better if i had some time alone at home to do some work for about 3 hours saturday afternoon.

i must also take my car in for an MOT Sat morning.

Dh suggested he and DS come with me for the MOT. I reminded him I wanted him to take DS out for a few hours so I could do some of my paperwork

Being upset about his work situation, Dh became huffy and said that he cannot even be in his own house because I am chasing him out.

In an effort to smooth things, I said perhaps we could go for breakfast together tomorrow while the MOT is being done. I checked the closest restaurant and it is not open for breakfast. DH says that we could go to McDonald's. I don't care either way who goes there, but I don't like the food there. So I said I did not want to go there.

This sounds so friggin ridiculous. Now he is in a huff because we cannot have breakfast at McD's, I am in a huff because all i want to do is get the bloody MOT done and then do some work tomorrow afternoon.

Have I made sense? Am I arranging his day for him? Is it unreasonable of me to ask him to take DS out for a few hours tomorrow so i can do some extra work in the afternoon? Our house is REALLY small and i do not have a separate room to work in. DS is 4yr6m and does not leave me alone for more than 15 minutes even if D@h is around.

I just want to be alone for a while tomorrow. I don't want to go for breakfast. I don't want to put off doing my work. I don't want to have DH behaving like a child.

AIBU? I am going to bed now. Maybe this will all have sorted itself out overnight! or maybe MN will have some pearls of wisdom for me come morning time!!

You are mnaking sence. Your DH should take your DS and the car for an MOT and let you get on with your work. Then they can go for a McD's. After that they can go to the park....that should give you atleast 4 hours alone.

Your DH does drive, doesn't he?

I think you are both tense at the moment and am blowing this out of all proportion. You'll wake up in the morning and it will all be fine.

Go to McDs for breakfast, so what if you dont like the food? Me neither (though their egg Mcmuffins are quite nice!!) but it's give and take - it will be a treat for ds and dh can have his breakfast, then you can have your bit of peace and quiet in afternoon.

Ditto what Lynette said!

I know your DH is stresses with the partnership, but he needs to understand that you have needs too

Lynette has the right idea - but perhaps your DH is just in need of a bit of comfort and feeling needed just now, and isn't really cross with you needing your time, just transferring all his angst about his own work onto you (unfair).

Instead of compromising on tomorrow, I would ask that he just lets you get on with what you need to do tomorrow and then on Sunday you will all do something lovely together. He should value the "boys together" time with his DS and go and do something just for them - what a great opportunity!

Sounds like you're both under pressure and are feeling scratchy. We get like that too. Try to give/compromise a little, then maybe he'll come to the party and be a bit more reasonable.

thanks, everyone. it usually is me that tried to calm the waters when we are both scratchy, so I know that that is what i should do.

We are all going to the MOT and then going for breakfast. No law saying I am not allowed only coffee at McD'!

And I have already taken about the meat for bbq tonight so that should smooth things for today, too.

smiley Numberfour household this morning

thanks again!!

Hope your Saturday went well.