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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

grrr to colleagues with 'perfect' babies

52 replies

mummy2isla · 29/05/2009 20:36

Me: My LO is not good at sleeping. Up most mornings at 4 / 5. Very tired!Coming back to work (a month ago) meaning I am shattered! Never mind ..

Her: Oh I can honestly say I have never, ever had a sleepless night with my LO. She's great, she bf easily and has slept through from a few weeks old. I did Gina Ford and it was great. And because she bf so well I lost loads of weight and now weigh less than I did before I was pregnant!

Me: Oh. (thinking thoughts of big pans hitting her on the head)

OP posts:
Hassled · 29/05/2009 21:46

My grandmother claimed to have felt no pain whatsoever when she had my father. Some people just lie about bollocks. And karma will win - her daughter will have tantrums that will shake the earth. And refuse to eat vegetables. And will fight over potty training. And won't settle at school. Then she'll meet an unsuitable boy... Your DD, meanwhile, will be fine .

Casserole · 29/05/2009 21:50

Don't just make her tea with full fat milk... stir a lump of lard into it, too! Seriously, she's lying. Don't give her any more thought... or ammunition x

qwertpoiuy · 29/05/2009 21:57

Reminds me of this thread where I made a couple of contributions myself. I read it from time to time to remind myself I'm not alone having "imperfect" kiddies!

My SIL always tells me about her "perfect" 2ds, yet I remember any time I visited her or bumped into her in the street her having a hard time with them!

OP, they're all lying, or else they just develop this amnesia where the bad times are just erased from their minds.

Ignore them!

StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2009 21:58

definitely swings and roundabouts!
I lost loads of weight from bf when DS was under about 18 months. I woke up one day when he was about 18 months and he dropped a daytime feed and I put on three stone that morning
AND if you always have a bad sleeper (as I do - he's not too bad, but at 2 has slept through a handful of times) then on the occasions you do get a good night's sleep you feel like Superwoman - when you're used to it you just feel normal

pavlovthecat · 29/05/2009 22:03

oh and she might be skinny, bet she has tons of stretchmarks

VelvetCushions · 29/05/2009 22:06

I have a friend who insisted that her breast fed baby slept through from a couple of months old. When I questioned her about it, what she meant was yes, the baby would get up for feeds but would go straight back to sleep.
I don't call that sleeping through.
I think some mpeople have a different idea of what sleeping through means.

piscesmoon · 29/05/2009 22:07

I wouldn't worry-either she is lying, her DC will be 'difficult' later on or she will have a second who will make her realise that it was nothing to do with her, DC1 just happened to be easy going!

Heated · 29/05/2009 22:07

probably like the London Underground map

Picture that every-time she speaks about her perfect dc, and then pass the tissues & choc hobnobs when her dc reaches the terrible twos.

Original poster
mummy2isla · 29/05/2009 22:07

ha ha thank you everybody, really cheered me up love mn sometimes!

OP posts:
Promdress · 29/05/2009 22:14

Well, it's certainly not tactful but perhaps she is plain tactless rather than plain smug IYSWIM?

Does she ever admit to things going wrong as well as right? If so, perhaps cut her some slack - if not, she's tactless AND smug

rupertsabear · 29/05/2009 22:14

It might be true, but still means nothing. I've got 3 kids. Number 2 was that angel sort of baby who really slept and was just lovely. From 1.5 to now, aged 4, he's been a bit of a nightmare at night most of the time really, with nightmares and general insomnia. So just ignore her.

FabulousBakerGirl · 29/05/2009 22:18

maybe she doesn't have sleepless nights as someone else is seeing to the baby?

All mine slept through the first night they were home, The second night was a shock and then I fed them in the night until they were 6-7 months old.

Judy1234 · 29/05/2009 22:32

My mother told my sister we were never ill as children. AFter her death I had her baby book/diary of our childhood in the 60s typed out - page after page is about cold after cold, sickness germ, flu.

izyboy · 29/05/2009 22:34

I think it is true you do forget things as kids get older. When asked at what age DS uttered his first word I recently said 'mmmm 7 months?!' As if! I'd just completely forgotten and said the first thing in my head. She's just making it up /a bit confused.

chipmonkey · 29/05/2009 22:36

Ds1 slept through the night almost from newborn.

Then I had ds2..................>>

Lizzylou · 29/05/2009 22:42

DS1 slept for 10 hours when we took him home from hospital, actually had to wake him...turned out he was jaundiced.

My two were great sleepers/eaters from an early age. So why am I up at 5.30am with my 5 and 3 yr olds...???

No fool lke a smug fool

lilackaty · 29/05/2009 22:43

Sleep problems is one of those things people just don't talk about. My friend's dd was an awful sleeper at age 5 and she was chatting to a mum at nursery about it who told her how brilliantly her 2 children slept, routine etc. A few days later my friend happened to speak to the dad who said he never saw his dw in the evenings as she spent the whole time putting the kids to bed and then went to bed as it was so late.

Fairynufff · 29/05/2009 22:46

I have a friend just like this - I didn't understand why her life was so perfect compared to mine then something happened (can't reveal details cos friend is mumsnetter) but it would have devastated me and she basically airbrushed the whole thing. I have come to realise now that her whole life is a PR exercise - her kids' lives, her house, everything is constructed to look 'perfect' and you could argue, actually is perfect...but I have come to conclusion that she is a bit shallow and probably insecure. I dread to think what will happen when her children get minds of their own!

Agree with the others... the weight comment was completely bitchy and vile. She must have issues!

choppychopster · 29/05/2009 22:47

DD actually did sleep through from about 5 weeks and was thinner than before I was pregnant (no stretch marks BTW), however I felt the need to join in with competitive tales about how little sleep I'd had and moan about what I porker I was with the other new mums as I didn't want to feel left out!

maqrollelgaviero · 01/06/2009 13:57

My friend whose baby was 4 months younger than mine (and lived on the other side of the world) kept ringing me to tell me how her dd had slept through from 2 weeks, I was amazed as ds was going to bed at 7pm feeding at 10pm feeding again at 4 and waking at 7am which was fine for me as we coslept and bf. It was only when we went to visit that she defined sleeping through as her lo going to bed at 11pm and getting up for the day at 5am and being on another floor to her parents with no baby monitor, whereas I was seeing it at 7pm - 7am.

I think sleeping through is a fairly fluid term and open to much interpretation!

Stigaloid · 01/06/2009 14:02

My grandmother claimed my mother slept through the night from birth (yeah right) and my mother claimed i slept through from 2 weeks. They claimed it was becuase their babies were "contented" so when i was struggling with DS who had severe reflux and digestive intolerances i felt like a failure with a discontented child. he was discontented - he was in a lot of discomfort.

kitbit · 01/06/2009 14:09

Depends what you count as a sleepless night. ds coslept with us so when he woke for feeds we'd all barely stir, he'd feed and we'd all doze off again. No corridor stomping, 4am shushing or yelling. So - he woke up several times a night but none of us were really that disturbed by it.

Then when he was a toddler he'd wake up at 4am and bimble through into our room for snuggles. Usually I'd snuggle him back to sleep. Sometimes not. So yes he always woke early and never "slept through", but I'd say he was a good sleeper because it wasn't a problem.

A friend whose little boy woke far less than ds describes it as hell on earth. All a matter of perception. So maybe she isn¡t intentionally lying?

audreyraines · 01/06/2009 15:09

my 'terrible sleeper' is now 2.5 and sleeps excellently while my 'excellent sleeper' friends are now battling with constant wakeups. either that or their dc is not as clever as mine
block it out the best you can. Grrrrrr.

SusieDerkins · 01/06/2009 15:11

Apparently sleeping through is technically going from midnight to 5 am.

Utterclaptrap. Imho sleeping through is 7 -6 or 7 without a squeak.

My 2 were rubbish sleepers and are now fab. Took 2 loooong years though.....

kitbit · 01/06/2009 15:27

On the other hand I used to get so fed up with competitive questions that if I was asked "is he a good sleeper?" I'd smile vacantly and say "yeeeeeees". Ditto good eater, and the real baffler "is he good?". The answer is usually more important to the person asking the question!