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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to share a tent with PILs?

23 replies

honestlyandtruly · 29/05/2009 16:48

Some time ago DH's parents took it upon themselves to buy a family-sized tent, with separate bedroom areas, in the belief that it would be fun if DH, DD and I all go camping together when we're back in the UK. We live overseas. The first we heard of this idea was AFTER they'd bought the tent. We've managed to avoid the camping thing until now.

However, we're going to visit them for a week in August and they've suggested to DH that it would be a great opportunity to go to a campsite in the New Forest for 2-3 days to test out the tent. DH hates the idea of camping but is willing to go for the sake of his parents. I'm happy to camp for a couple of nights but have massive reservations about sharing a tent with my in-laws. Both of them can be difficult and inevitably during our visits there are times when I (and DH) need to walk away and take deep breaths to prevent an argument. We're both pretty easy-going and try to avoid confrontation wherever possible.

I want to say that we'll go camping with them BUT that we'll want our own tent so we can have some privacy. I'd be happy for DD to stay with them, although she might prefer to be with us in our tent when we get there. I know that they'll be very upset by this as they've already gone to the expense of buying a very large tent to accommodate us all. Am I being unreasonable? Or should I just grin and bear it, knowing that it's just a couple of days? DH is willing to go along with whatever I decide.

OP posts:
traceybath · 29/05/2009 16:51

OMG - there is no way on this earth i'd share a tent with in-laws. But i wouldn't share a tent with anyone apart from DH and children to be honest.

Can DH not buy a tent - lots of cheap offers on at the moment.

YANBU.

TheCrackFox · 29/05/2009 16:54

YANBU.

Just buy your own tent.

I wouldn't want to share a tent with my own parents never mind my PILs.

HairyMuff · 29/05/2009 16:54

YANBU - they bought the tent without consulting you.

However, in order not to cause a ruck I would I'm afraid take the wimps way out and put up with it as its only for a couple of nights. At least it'll give you and your DH something to bitch talk about when you get home

HairyMuff · 29/05/2009 16:56

Also, you and DH could both fart really loudly and smellily all night in said tent.

That will ensure there will be no repeat experience.

LaurieFairyCake · 29/05/2009 16:58

The difficulty is that people think canvas is soundproof when they're erm....worked up so even if you bought a new tent if it was still close by it would still be like you were actually with them in the same tent.

You are talking about a few feet and an extra layer of canvas, so not much if you get pissed off.

I also wouldn't share a campsite tent with anyone.

MillyR · 29/05/2009 16:59

You're crazy to even consider agreeing to tent sharing.

It could be worse though; my former boss did tent share with his DP and inlaws, on a naturist campsite.

BrokenFlipFlop · 29/05/2009 17:01

YANBU - why on earth didn't they at least discuss it with you prior to puchasing the tent ie at least then you would have had the option of buying your own and they could've got a smaller/cheaper one.

I simply would not do it - if they're upset by your decision then tough - as I said, they needed to communicate more with you.

God I sound horrible but camping is hard enough anyway fgs

LaurieFairyCake · 29/05/2009 17:04

faints< at the thought of father-in-laws dick on a naturist site

Trikken · 29/05/2009 17:06

It makes any chance of being romantic impossible too- though you wouldnt get that with dd with you either. No matter how much i loved my Ils I wouldnt want to share a tent. You'd have nowhere to vent and I'd feel under pressure to be nice all the time. Not that Im not lovely all the time!

honestlyandtruly · 29/05/2009 17:08

Thanks everyone. Didn't think I was BU but I really don't want to rock the boat. We don't see them all that often and they miss DD a lot. Perhaps they could take DD camping and DH and I could have a nice couple of days somewhere nearby on our own. That might work.

OP posts:
bigchris · 29/05/2009 17:10

yanbu

TwentiethCenturyHeffa · 29/05/2009 18:25

YANBU

I wouldn't even share a tent with my parents tbh, let alone my PIL.

ChippingIn · 29/05/2009 23:35

I feel your pain! LOL I guess it would depend - if it was my Ex PIL then sharing the planet was too much most of the time, so sharing a tent.... arghhhhhhhhhhh but unless they are really, really awful I would go along with it, it's only a couple of days and if it is really that bad, at least, next time, you can make your excuses knowing you gave it a go Besides, your DD will LOVE it

Thunderduck · 29/05/2009 23:37

YANBU. But I wouldn't even share a tent with myself. I hate camping.

2sugarsandapuppy · 29/05/2009 23:38

Christ, I'd be hard pushed to share a tent with any members of my family .....

sleepyeyes · 30/05/2009 00:05

YANBU but then I truly detest camping.
Why don't you suggest they take your DD and let you and your DH have some time alone together?
That way you don't say no but you don't have to go either.

moondog · 30/05/2009 00:11

YABU
Do it.
It's a very sma;ll thing and will make them happy.
FGS, stop being so selfish.
Roomy tents are bigger than the average semi.

skramble · 30/05/2009 00:16

I have slept in my PIl's awning of there caravan, this time I had my van and slept in that, still managed to encounter FIL in far to short shorst on rout to showers and walked in on MIL getting changed, never mind.

But caravaning in their case is all very regimented and has to be done their way, they have done it for years and think nothing of telling you exactly where to put your sunglasses and what ever, is a pain that must be endured to keep us all happy.

Was much happier having my own space this time and would even consider more than an over night if I could set up my own van and awning as I am lone and it would be lonely to camp myself with kids as I would only see them at meals.

hmc · 30/05/2009 00:18

Christ no, you are not be unreasonable.

snice · 30/05/2009 00:21

Go with them in their tent for a couple of nights -grit yout teeth and just do it.

Then announce "We loved the trip so much that we're converted to camping- and we've bought our own tent!"

Or alternatively "We're so glad we tried your tent before we went ahead and bought one - it turns out we don't like camping after all!"

Maninadirndl · 30/05/2009 00:24

OMG! I couldnt spend a weekend with my inlaws in the fam weekend place in the Alps. My idea of a nightmare.

BreevandercampLGJ · 30/05/2009 00:34

I would rather stick pins in my own eyeballs.

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 30/05/2009 00:53

YANBU..... Urgh.... I couldn't imagine anything worse, and I love my ILs.....

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