to wish the nice lady would mind her own business?

[makipuppy]

DP and I went to London last weekend (we're living overseas), got off a flight and onto a commuter train to visit my brother. It was full of exhausted, depressed-looking people. DP stood by the door, reading his book. I leaned my six-month pregnant self against one of the seats and read my book. I'm having a lovely pregnancy, am full of beans and having just been jammed on a budget flight for a couple of hours was happy to stand for 30 minutes.

I've always got a seat when I've wanted one - I have a special face I do that never fails. If I need one, I ask whoever is sitting in the priority seat, politely, if I can sit down as I'm a bit tired.

A lady, also seatless, got all worked up and eventually said in a very loud voice, is noone going to give up their seat for this pregnant lady?

The man in front of me got up, looking very red-faced and claimed he would be delighted to he just hadn't seen me.

Frankly I'd rather she'd asked if anyone had any leftover lunch.

I do appreciate her kind thought though.

I see where you're coming from - I'm currently as pg as you, and also lucky to be full of energy and actually finding that sitting all day at work or on flights etc. is harder on my back than standing.

But you are maybe being a little bit U - she clearly meant well, and IMO more people should do things like that.

No harm done if you politely refuse and say you've been sitting for a long time already and it's more comfy to stand.

YABU. There are entire threads dedicated to pg women complaining they never get a seat on public transport. People should offer seats to those who need them (including pg women) - you can always say "No, thank you, I'm fine standing." should you wish.

YABU - i never once got offered a seat. Someone should have offered for you. Not all women have great pregnancy, I felt crap during mine.

YABU. We could do with a few more gobby middle aged ladies ready to take on the world. I bet she's the type to pull the emergancy cord as well.

If someone had stood to offer me their seat, I would have smiled, thanked them kindly, said actually I was fine standing, maybe even acknowledged that they had had a hard day at work.

But in this situation, I didn't feel I could say no, because the (admittedly well-meaning and kind) lady had it all arranged and I was merely manoeuvred into my new position. Refusing it would have been messy.

I quite agree that people should give up their seats. When I was a kid I would not have been allowed to sit if any adult was standing, my mum or dad would have pulled me onto their lap or if too big for that, I would have stood.

I only object to people assuming that because I'm pregnant I'm helpless.

YABU

She didn't say you were helpless. And I resent your implication that because someone may be in greater need of a seat that makes them helpless.

Dh is disabled and needs a seat, but he is not helpless.

MillyR, to clarify, and because I would not want to offend you or your DH, my use of the term helpless refers to her assumption that I could not ask for a seat myself rather than me being able to stand.

She embarrassed me - I was blushing like a beet root when I sat down.

Anyway, I gather I'm being U, which is fine, I do agree there is too little kindness in the world - It's just that I would never expect someone to speak for me when I wasn't pregnant, so it's a bit galling that they do when I am.

I expect she has got fed up of seeing pg women, or others in need of a seat, standing time and time again whilst everyone seated pretends they're invisible and remains with their bum glued to the seat.

Have a look at some of the threads on the 'pregnancy' topic and you'll see some of the responses women have received when they have asked for a seat; you'll see why that lady may have thought you'd be reluctant to ask even if you were in dire need.

YABU totally. In her mind she was standing up for you and the rapidly diminishing manners there seem to be in this country.

YABU but I can see where you're coming from.
You'll be grateful for someone like her when you've got a week to go and it feels like you've got a bowling ball threatening to drop into your knickers

Ok ok! I get it. I'll just wear my 'I'm Perfectly FINE Thanks' t-shirt till I hit the bowling ball pants stage

My goodness, I wonder if that lady was me!!! (Though i'm not middle aged or particularly gobby!) I did this recently (can't remember if it was weekend or not..?)
I will tell you why I did it though - I have been pregnant and knackered (though emphatically not 'helpless'), and on a commuter train where no one gave me the time of day, and when I actually asked for a seat pretended they hadn't heard me. I have seen other women experience the same. OP, you don't have to wear a t-shirt, you just have to be appreciative of kindness. If you are confident enough to ask for a seat (as you say you are), then you should be confident enough to thank someone and decline the offer with a smile.
I would do what I did again. If you truly do 'appreciate the kind thought', why wish she would mind her own business?
Anyway, lecture over! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, and congratulations.

YABU. The nicest thing anyone ever did for me was on one hot day last summer when I was 8 months pregnant and trapped by the door of the tube. She bellowed loudly; who's going to give this pregnant lady a seat? People parted, men jumped to their feet and I had the pick of the seats. If she hadn't done that, I honestly think I might have passed out. Funnily enough, I considered doing just this for a woman on the tube last week. But I chickened out because I thought 'what if she is funny about it'. And now I know I was right to be worried. But it is so, so sad. This is why people don't offer seats because they are afraid of offending.