not to let ds3 back into his bedroom

[Stayingsunnygirl]

Ds3 is on school journey this week, and while he's off enjoying himself doing all sorts of outdoorsy stuff, I've seized the opportunity of mucking out his bedroom (and I use that term advisedly).

So far I have rounded up about half a binbag full of rubbish from his floor, including a carrierbagful from down the back of his bed, where it is clearly easier to stuff sweetie wrappers etc rather than trekking all the way across his room to the bin (poor love).

Once the room is tidy, I am going to clear out and tidy his cupboards and wardrobe, then springclean it, and he's going to come home to a bedroom in a state of gleaming perfection.

Would I be unreasonable if I made him live in the shed from now on, so that his bedroom stays tidy?

But WHY are you doing it for him?

Surely it would have been better to grab a coffee and a magazine and sit in there supervising him doing it, refusing to leave until it is done.

He'll remember this for next time, nice trip away, come back to nice and tidy room. All good.

He usually does have to tidy his room, in order to get his pocket money - though when dh checks it, he tends to be more forgiving than I am. I just thought it would be a good idea to give it a really good spring clean - to give him a headstart, I suppose.

I feel like such a bad mother now.

How old is he?

How old is he?

My DD is 9 and we regularly battle on room tidiness. She is a hoarder and so I let her hoard away but the deal is the floor is clear and her bed is such that should I wish to change sheets I am not met with an Aladdin's Cave of random objects stuffed down the sides of it and under the pillow. You'd be surprised what I've found under there!

She struggles with even this so I have to go and sit in there advising on the tidying. I take a book to read and give specific instructions while she stands there looking baffled by what 'tidy' means.

Knowing what teenagers are like I don't intend to start doing it for any of my DC now in case they get the idea that it is my responsibility not theirs.

I do also kind of buy into the idea that with older children it is down to them to choose how they wish to live and if that means having a pit of a bedroom so be it.

You are a kinder mummy than I!

I currently tidy ds 1's room -he's 5 but we now ask him to tidy it at the weekends and because we've done it with him and don't insist on everything being perfect -more stuff grouped in an area ie all the star wars stuff together, random crap in his storage box etc -he is starting to be able to do this himself.

I have 2 ds's and a 3rd on the way and if my brothers were a good model for how teenage boys can be I'm not spending my time mucking out my boys bedrooms!!

I currently tidy ds 1's room -he's 5 but we now ask him to tidy it at the weekends and because we've done it with him and don't insist on everything being perfect -more stuff grouped in an area ie all the star wars stuff together, random crap in his storage box etc -he is starting to be able to do this himself.

I have 2 ds's and a 3rd on the way and if my brothers were a good model for how teenage boys can be I'm not spending my time mucking out my boys bedrooms!!

sorry! at gym and the computer went funny

Not as a general rule, hobbgoblin - it's more of a temporary aberration.

Most of the time I do turn a reasonably blind eye to the mess - as you say, it is their choice to live in a mess - though I do get irritated when they store a week's worth of dirty laundry on the bedroom floor, and then fill the washing basket at the weekend, especially when clothes that have been washed, ironed and folded and returned to them for putting away, have actually been dumped and have got mixed up with the dirty stuff and put back in the wash. Grrrr. And a week living with the smell of your dirty socks - ewww.

Ohh - and ds3 is 12 (his brothers are 14 and nearly 16). I think that there's a delusional part of me that believes that if I give them a nice tidy room to start from, they will be able to keep it tidy. You'd think I would know better by now!!

But it would stay tidy if I made him live in the shed......

And wrt unusual things found down the back of beds - ds3's best ever was two slices of processed cheese, still in their plastic wrappers and still looking fresh! He still says he has no idea how those got there - the cheese fairy, perhaps?

We are beginning to introduce the rule that if it doesn't make in into the laundry basket at the top of the stairs then it doesn't get washed.

I do the washing but I am not my ds 1's servant...

I do the same for dh, if he wants it washed it goes in the basket. Why should I have to pick up dirty pants off the floor????????

I do that, too, muppetgirl.
The problem with that is, as Sunnygirl says, they store a week's worth and pile up the basket at the weekend. Usually just after I think everything is done.

I agree Mrsjammi - I am going to have 3 teenaged boys + a trained dh in the house (he wasn't trained when I got him as his mother did everything for him) There is NO WAY I am setting myself up for being a general skivvy. I will be back at work then.

I do do a sweep of the playroom when the ds's are away to get rid of the plastic crap from party bags and I suppose my 2 are still young so I do help them but in a 'one day you will do this all by yourself' kind of way. I don't really care as much about how tidy the room is just more that the cups/plates make it to the sink and the clothes make it to the basket.

Maybe that's the problem, mrsjammi - I only have one washing basket so the poor darlings have to walk all the way along the landing to my room! I might try giving them their own, to see if it made any difference....

we have one of the boys floor and one in our shower room. ds 1 (5) knows that all dirty clothes go in the basket and he does this everynight whilst I get his story out and do his curtain/blind. He does it under guidance!

he's going into year 1 in sept and then I'll leave him to it where clothes are concerned.

I have very rarely done a less than full load. Only done due to genuine mistakes.
If they put stuff in the basket later than can be washed and dried over the weekend then of course, they have to do without.
But if it's in the wash, then it needs washing so it makes no difference to me whether I put it in that night or wait while tomorrow. It's just irritating having a full basket when you thought it was all done.

@ "the trauma of having to go in their rooms "
So true.

Indeed, juuule! Ds3's room is reasonably tidy now, it just needs dusting and vacuuming (now I've found the floor and the surfaces), but ds2's room is a total pit. I only went in there to empty the bin, but it was a baaaad move!! Thank heaven his curtains were closed, otherwise I might have been able to see it properly!

Oh - and I assume that, as no-one seems to think it would be unreasonable, ds3 can go to sleep in the shed when he gets back on friday!!

Well, I did the deed, and ds3's room is clean and tidy. Any bets on how long it will stay that way when I get him back tomorrow (complete with a week's worth of dirty, wet laundry of course).