To not be happy that mil constantly complained about her 15 yr old dgd for being unsociable etc

[summerparade]

They're staying together this week on a campsite (pil, sil, bil, neice, aunties uncle cousins etc). We visited for the day. Mil constantly complained that all dgd has done since arrival is mope about has a face like a wet weekend and has hardly said two words to her, unsociable, miserable etc etc. She said how glad she is we're here and she'd rather spend time with us and my boys etc. I should be glad that she enjoyed their company I spose but it made me feel uncomfortable. She's their grandchild too and I disliked the favouritism. My dc are aged 3.5 years and 18 months.

Doesn't sound like much of a fun holiday for the teenager. Campsite hols can be fun as a teenager if you get a bit of freedom and can chat up boys at campsite discos, hang around the toilets in groups annoying everyone etc but having a large family clan keeping an eye on you must be awful.

She's probably been dragged to the campsite when she'd rather be at home seeing her mates.
She's not in the best of moods.

Poor granddaughter - if i was 15 i would be bored stupid..and so would most of the 15 year old pupils i teach

yanbu

her grandmother has forgotten what teens are like when they are bored stiff

God no! 15 years old stuck on a campsite with elderly relatives. You could predict it! My nan often reminds me of the time I was 15 and we went to visit the war graves at Dunkirk. I refused to get off the coach .

There was much muttering amongst the other coach dwellers about how "ungrateful" I was. Actually I fully appreciated that others had died "on my behalf" but at aged 15 did not want it in my face. I feel differently about this now....

Ugh girls that age are incredibly selfish. I remember once my family collected me from school en masse to go out to lunch, after which I would meet my friends as arranged at 3 o clock. This was a surprise to me and I had planned to go home and change. My mum brought me some clothes to change into....big mistake...the clothes were so 'wrong' that I kicked up a massive stink and we ended up all going home lunch cancelled. I went out anyway. Ungrateful brat.
Quite normal for 15 years olds to think of nobody and nothing but themselves - especially where family trips are involved - family have no feelings, see?

YANBU. It's not favouritism, but it's unrealistic expectations from the grandmother. She should take a step back and remind herself what teenagers are like! And particularly what they are like when dragged on a family camping holiday!

Also the campsite has absolutely nothing except showers and toilets dh asked yesterday at reception about any local takeaways etc there are none! I did comment to my mil that she is 15 and I would hate her to be like this towards my boys when they are teenagers. She said she wouldn't as my boys wouldn't behave like this! How does she know that does she have a crystal ball. Also she is on holiday with her grandparents and great uncle and aunty (we just visited). Not most teenage girls idea of fun surely! I remember her being just the same when her older dgs was a teenager. She was constantly complaining about him being unsociable, moody etc. He is now in his 20's by the way!

My ds both adore their grandma and mil mentioned the complete contrast between their excited greeting yesterday and dgd's greeting when she arrived at the begining of the week! However they are only little so ofcourse it'll be different. They are very close to their grandma but I do worry about what will happen in 10 years time.

Poor 15 yo. She must be having a really miserable half term!

Hasn't she got her iPod / a good book / a teen magazine to passd the time with.

Your MIL is BVU

You MIL clearly has a problem with teenagers, but should hide it a bit better. Maybe she also has a problem with girls?

I know my grandmother was perplexed by me when I was a teenager - she just couldn't identify with me, I think (although I was never particularly difficult, I was a bit moody and liked being on my own). When I got into my 20s we learned to appreciate each other and I saw quite a lot of her in the years before she died. I miss her now

If your DD has not actively been rude,the MIL should keep her thoughts to herself. Poor DD

I can't imagine she's having much fun if her gran is moaning at her all the time, it wouldn't make you feel too chipper would it? I think MIL needs to employ some unconditional love tactics and ignore the quietness and what she sees as moodiness and just be nice to her. Poor kid!!

She isn't actually moaning at her she was moaning ABOAT her to us and to fil when we weren't around iyswim. From what I could make out yesterday she wasn't actually spending much time at all with her grandaughter as she had had enough by then of her moodiness (her words not mine!)

Do you think there could also be a little jealousy of 15 year olds youth? My mil has said some nasty things to my dd. When I got down to it, (and believe me, I did), mil confessed to envying my dd her youth!!

Well, we have all had a youth. I was flabbergasted at my mil.

Hope your dn is not having too bad a time of it.

That should be moaning about her!!

Sorry cheshirekitty xpost No I don't think thats the problem but I could be wrong!