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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have not told my friend about this?

46 replies

veryembarassedbythis · 26/05/2009 20:58

I have a good friend who is the mother of someone famous in America.

A (supposed) friend of mine whom i am not particularly close to found out today and rung me up to ask why i hadn't told her i was friends with this woman and saying it was selfish etc of me not to tell her. I was both ed and that she was having a go at me over this.

She then went on to ask if i could get her tickets to a concert and whether i could arrange a 'meet up' when my friend and her DD were next in the UK.

I told her no i couldn't and if she was a true friend she wouldn't be asking for this. Then i hung up on her Was i BU to hang up on her?

This is the exact reason i don't tell people as i think they'll only want to be my friend due to connections with my friend's daughter.

(My nickname is not in relation to this thread, is in relation to a previous one! )

OP posts:

HecatesTwopenceworth · 26/05/2009 21:34

You are not being unreasonable at all! You are being a good friend by not using your friend for her connection. You other 'friend' is being stupid.

Original poster

veryembarassedbythis · 27/05/2009 00:00

She text me asking why i hung up on her. Haven't replied yet, might tell her she was BU to ask me and explain how i felt

OP posts:

cornsilk · 27/05/2009 00:03

It's not actually Tiffany is it?

Original poster

veryembarassedbythis · 27/05/2009 00:10

You mean is Tiffany the 'friend' that was asking about my friend's dd?

OP posts:

SalBySea · 27/05/2009 00:24

yanbu

what kind of idiot has a go at someone BEFORE asking a favour anyway?

PrincessLayer · 27/05/2009 00:58

My best mates half sister is/was a Hollywood movie star. She was in a few big films in the late 80's early 90's and has been in a couple long(ish) running tv series and had minor film roles since. (I just imdb'd her to see what she'd done lately)

She did tell a few people when "film star" was at her most famous as people commented on how much they look alike, but soon learned to say "oh do you think so"?

TBH most people don't recognise her name...but if you say the main role she played they people know straight away!

I'm on the fence as to whether you were being unreasonable to hang up or not. No, she shouldn't of asked you to use your connection, but most of us don't come across famous people very often, and the more weak willed might get a bit over excited if they know their friend has a celebrity friend.

Maybe next time (and there will be a next time, she'll of told everyone ) you can just point out that you can't make that sort of arrangement, but will pass on their best regards when you next speak.

BitOfFun · 27/05/2009 01:07

< binoculars out for OP >

Come on, at least a clue! Purely so we can give you the best advice, of course...

Seriously, putting the phone down is OTT...just say what you think next time.

Geocentric · 27/05/2009 02:13

My only claim to fame is that a childhood friend was on the first edition of The Bachalorette

YANBU. And personally I would run a mile rather then meet a sleb

Probably wouldn't recognize one, anyway, as I am very bad at faces/names.

fortyplus · 27/05/2009 02:21

My ds was at school with the granddaughter of someone well known who received some very bad publicity at times. He used to attend an occasional school play and so on. His daughter (ie mother of child) was pretty paranoid about people wanting to contact her dad for good and bad reasons. I said if I bumped into him I'd just say 'Oh - you must be R's grandad'

Peole are so odd when it comes to famous people. I'd HATE to be really famous.

MojoLost · 27/05/2009 04:14

oooooh very curious indeed!!! Can we have initials?
What I don't understand is how on earth did your ex-friend find out about your connection-with-fame?
If you don't tell people, then how did she find out?

PuppyMonkey · 27/05/2009 06:49

Spill!!!

Isn't Hannah Montana's dad Billy Ray Cyrus of Achey Breaky Heart Fame? In which case, I think OP would have namedropped him too.

Original poster

veryembarassedbythis · 27/05/2009 09:40

Mojo,how she found out is a mystery to me but someone must have told her.
People do know, but i don't go out of way to tell people IYSWIM. If they ask i'll tell them but i don't bring it up.
DD1s close friends all know as she took a few of them to an event earlier this year where said friend's daughter was.

OP posts:

SlartyBartFast · 27/05/2009 09:46

your dd took some friends to an event? did your friend help organise this?
can't blame the other friend for asking in that case can you
not that i think yabu.
you need to respond to her though rather than just hang up and hope she'll go away. Just say NO

Original poster

veryembarassedbythis · 27/05/2009 09:49

The 'friend' that called me yesterday had nothing to do with the event my DD and her friends went to and didn't even know they'd been (i think! )

Her DS is the same age as mine (5) and her DD is 3 years old (Don't think it would mean much to a 3 year old to meet said star).

Your right though SlartyBartFast, i must call her and i am feeling bad for hanging up!

OP posts:

SlartyBartFast · 27/05/2009 09:51

intruiged now.

don't feel bad, say you dropped the phone

unavailable · 27/05/2009 10:00

No - dont feel embarassed , and dont say you dropped the phone, tell her why you hung up!

Your friend was out of order and I think you should tell her so without feeling the need to apologise.

thedolly · 27/05/2009 10:14

Is there the slightest possibility that she could be laughing up her sleeve at you and pulling your leg at the same time

Is it possible that she thinks you are the star struck one for it to have remained such a big secret never to have come up between the two of you.

I think you may be B a tad U.

Original poster

veryembarassedbythis · 27/05/2009 10:28

thedolly, i don't think she was, she seemed genuinely upset that i hadn't told her.

I don't think she thinks i am star struck,
have been friend's with __'s mum for 20 years, before her DD was even born

Am going to call her in a minute though and apologise for hanging up but explain why i am with her!

OP posts:

thedolly · 27/05/2009 10:37

Perhaps she thinks that you are more than 'not particularly close' to her.

lovelyboy · 27/05/2009 10:39

I feel for you luv, you sound like a very loyal friend to famous persons mum and good for you. This other friend sorry to say sounds a complete twonk. What right does this so called friend have in saying that to you.

Original poster

veryembarassedbythis · 27/05/2009 11:19

Have spoken to her and explained i was cross that she ranted at me for not telling her etc etc. Told she was out of order to ask for tickets and a meet up. Explained that was wrong to hang up on her but explained how she had upset me etc etc. She agreed she was out of order for asking etc and we both aplogised and things seem to be okay.

She's coming over later for a coffee and for our DCs to meet up.

OP posts:

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