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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to call the police if our stupid neighbour pokes his shouty head over our gate again?

32 replies

bohemianbint · 25/05/2009 19:53

The silly twonk has just (stood on his tiptoes) and put his obnoxious head over our back gate and shouted and ranted at us for ages, even after we pointed out that we couldn't hear through the window and ignored him.

Background - we live in a Victorian terrace and had a loft conversion nearly 4 years ago and he took offence at us "altering the Victorian-ness of the neighbourhood." First he called the council and got them to come and investigate, even though there was no problem with it, and when that didn't work he came and started on me (then off work ill during 1st pregnancy, the baby being the reason for the loft conversion in the first place.) He had a big self righteous rant at me, during which I was very restrained and polite, but he was a bit aggressive, so DH when he found out went round and knocked on his door and asked him exactly what his problem was. DH is tall but slim and not exactly hard looking, but the neighbour bricked it and apologised for harassing me. (Wish I'd known at the time he was berating me about the un-authenticity of the window frames that the hypocrite silly fecker had the biggest pair of uPVC doors I've ever seen.)

Anyway, not seen or heard from him since until now. DH has put 4 tiny things in the entry until he gets chance to take them to the tip. Yes, it's not ideal, but it doesn't' block anyone's access, there are no bins up there. He should move them, I agree,(and he will) but I don't think it warrants that idiot shouting from the end of our yard, directly under DS1's window, (who was in bed, I might add) shouting his head off and threatening to throw things over. Can he do that?

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RumourOfAHurricane · 25/05/2009 19:57

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bohemianbint · 25/05/2009 20:02

Quite literally haven't seen him since he came round years ago (apart from through the window occasionally!)

(Out there is a mop bucket, a bag of soil and a plant pot. It's not excessive by any means, and it's literally just there until DH goes round the back to put it in the car boot.)

OP posts:
katiestar · 25/05/2009 20:04

Yes move the items and claim the moral high ground !

RumourOfAHurricane · 25/05/2009 20:05

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TallulahToo · 25/05/2009 20:06

Ohh! There's always The One isn't there. We have One next door too. Shouted at me but didn't dare even look at DH who is also fairly harmless looking. Ignore the twit and if he comes back just ask him to take the issue up with your DH then watch him squirm.

bohemianbint · 25/05/2009 20:07

Tis probably that small man syndrome thing. I expect he had to stand on the plant pot to see over the back gate.

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bohemianbint · 25/05/2009 20:10

Seriously though, can't move the stuff tonight - where do we stand if he does start lobbing stuff over?

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mrsmaidamess · 25/05/2009 20:11

I would stand back if I were you.

scottishmummy · 25/05/2009 20:15

not worth any further aggro move the stuff.ignore shouty man

NationalFlight · 25/05/2009 20:15

you could ring the ppolice now and ask them to make a note that you fear for your personal safety...or are being harrassed...that way they have a record of it if you need it in future.

obv don't get them to come out, until/unless he starts chucking stuff around, but let them know there is a concern iyswim.

luvoneson · 25/05/2009 20:19

By the sounds of the situation I think you should leave it to DH, especially if he's somewhat scared of him. Perhaps he could have a word in his shell-like. Best to get it sorted, there is nothing worse than a long on-going neighbour dispute.

RumourOfAHurricane · 25/05/2009 20:21

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NationalFlight · 25/05/2009 20:24

Ok I did wonder about that shiny I mean that they'd have to attend...I was thinking she ought to say that if she does think he's going to attack them, but chucking stuff might cause some damage I suppose in which case she ought to report it - mihgt be useful in future disputes non?

TallulahToo · 25/05/2009 20:24

Aw come on... I just know somebody will say it if I don't.... Allo allo shiny!

Can I ask if being shouted at is a form of verbal assault? Or do you have to be physically threatened first? {just wondering really}

TallulahToo · 25/05/2009 20:26

And... What does a neighbour have to do can get away with before an ASBO can be considered?

LaurieFairyCake · 25/05/2009 20:28

is it shared access? Someone will still own it - as we own our side and next door has 'access' over it - Victorian house too.

scottishmummy · 25/05/2009 20:31

calling police is a disproportionate response to an irascible ole git

you aren't afraid - you are understandably annoyed
but composed enough to tell MN
hardly in yer of yer life

and you do have to live with him as neighbour.also if you sell you want to say you have good relations with the neighbours,not i call the police on the crabbbit ole goat

RumourOfAHurricane · 25/05/2009 20:34

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bohemianbint · 25/05/2009 20:34

the only thing am worried about is that it's half term, and he's a teacher. It was half term last time he came round stropping at me (perhaps he just has nothing better to do with his spare time!) and I'm just a bit worried if he comes round shouting at me tomorrow when DH is at work because I now have two children at home with me. I can take care of myself but I don't want my kids exposed to that. They are 2.9 and 9 months and shouting would scare them.

OP posts:
cornsilk · 25/05/2009 20:36

If he comes round shouting whilst you are in on your own with the kids tell him to stop harassing you and your children.

NationalFlight · 25/05/2009 20:36

I think instead of gesturing that you can't hear him, maybe you and dh need to go out there together and confront him - disarm him - be ultra nice, smiley and apologise about the things in his way.

He can't be aggressive and horrid faced with that.

bohemianbint · 25/05/2009 20:36

(On the upside we are moving soon so we don't have to deal with him for much longer. Hope the new occupants throw some really antisocial parties for him.)

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scottishmummy · 25/05/2009 20:38

but that is speculation.no point getting in a fankle what if he does this or that tomorrow

deal with each event as it happens rather than predictive stress

RumourOfAHurricane · 25/05/2009 20:39

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scottishmummy · 25/05/2009 20:40

moving -well don't call police,as if prospective buyers ask if any neighbour problems you'd be concealing police involvement to say no

sit tight ignore him if you can

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