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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect parents not to drop their kids and run?!?

57 replies

MissSunny · 24/05/2009 22:18

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Thunderduck · 24/05/2009 23:10

It's the noise, I hate loud noises. I have dyspraxia and dyspraxics tend to be prone to anxiety and phobias. And we tend to have sensory issues and dislike loud noises, bright lights etc.

It's particuarly the tension of waiting for it to go bang. I'm always convinced that it will and I can't relax until the person goes away or it is popped.

I also have a very strong startle reflex, and when I am startled my reaction is very strong, and I'm left in a very heightened state of alert afterwards for much longer than average.It's a very unpleasant feeling.

MollieO · 24/05/2009 23:14

So the absolute worst thing that could happen would be to be in a room of popping balloons. Poor child. I assume her mother must know about the detail of balloon phobia so I am even more amazed that she didn't take her out of what was a pretty small room.

I can sympathise with hating loud noises. A few years ago I was close to a bomb that went off and for a long time afterwards I would collapse at the sound of a loud noise. Nothing I could do about it, my legs would just go from under me. Absolutely horrible and I'm sorry you have to live with something like that.

Thunderduck · 24/05/2009 23:21

That experience would be enough to give anyone a phobia Molly. It must have been horrible for you.

Popping the balloons was definitely the wrong thing to do and would have made things worse imho.

MollieO · 24/05/2009 23:24

What made it worse was the host running around chasing after those with balloons laughing and popping them with a cocktail stick. The children thought it was a game (not sure what they thought about an adult trying to get hold of a balloon) but then burst into tears when she popped it. She then laughed which made it worse but I assume it was a nervous/embarrased reaction on her part. I was surprised that she didn't ask the mum and dd to leave but I suppose she (host) was just being polite. I'd have no such problem

Thunderduck · 24/05/2009 23:30

That's an awful thing to do to children, and as I mentioned it didn't help anyone,just caused more upset to both the balloon phobic child and the others.

Original poster

MissSunny · 24/05/2009 23:41

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

jasper · 24/05/2009 23:42

sorry, this is not what you want to hear, but i think you are mad for
a) having 30 6 year olds you don't know at your house for a party

b) playing a balloon popping game with 6 year olds

Original poster

MissSunny · 24/05/2009 23:54

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

Thunderduck · 25/05/2009 00:01

Most children of that age love to pop balloons. You normally have to hold back a horde of childrem,who are intent on stamping on them, if you want the balloons to last the length of the party.

Thunderduck · 25/05/2009 00:08

Children not childrem.

jasper · 25/05/2009 00:20

in that case, RESPECT!
Still think you are mad, but in a nice way

I had 4 school friends at our house for my daughter's 8th birthday. yes, just four.

It was chaos beyond belief and I will never, ever host a children's party again.
It took me a day to recover. They were MENTAL

MillyR · 25/05/2009 00:41

I think you are lucky that they did leave! I once had a party for DS in a church hall, and hardly any of the parents left. It went from a children's party for 30 to an all age party for about 70, which I was totally unprepared for. It was absolutely horrendous. Fortunately a woman I barely knew spent the whole party in the kitchen making endless hot drinks for all the unwanted adults.

So now I love it if parents dump and run!

sunnydelight · 25/05/2009 00:56

Most people expect to/are expected to stay around here. Although it's the kids' first year in school most of them are turning 6 (Australian system) so I was a bit surprised, but most parents use it as a chance for a chat and catch up as the majority of the kids get the bus so we don't meet outside the classroom. I would be seriously hacked off if someone left a child who wasn't happy to be left - I was a bit surprised that one mum (the only one who did) dropped and ran at DDs party recently as I had never met the child, but she was totally fine about it. It does add to the cost though as providing wine and nibbles for the adults is also expected! Nice to do, but had work.

jasper · 25/05/2009 01:01

in these parts (Scotland) parents always drop and run!

nappyaddict · 25/05/2009 02:17

Round here it is the norm to leave them once they are 4 and I wouldn't expect anyone to ask if this was ok unless it said on the invitation that extra help was appreciated.

If I was hosting a party I would be happy for children to be left from the age of 3 as long as they don't need any help going to the toilet and were happy to be left, however at that age I would expect the parents to ask me if it was ok first.

If I knew my child had a balloon phobia I would definitely ask the host before hand if this would be a problem. The same as I would ask if it would be a problem if my child had a nut allergy or was vegetarian and if i needed to provide my own food or not.

Phoenix4725 · 25/05/2009 03:28

I tend to stay at partys that dd gets invites for ,as she has severe allergies so its less worryfor the parents

katiestar · 25/05/2009 20:14

I think YABU to play a balloon popping game when one of the guests had a balloon-popping phobia.

Thunderduck · 25/05/2009 20:16

I don't think the OP knew about the balloon phobia until the father mentioned it during the game.

katiestar · 25/05/2009 20:18

So why not stop the ghame then and there if it was distressing the child ? I am surprised there was only one child who didn't like it TBH

Thunderduck · 25/05/2009 20:20

I think she was already in hysterics by then anyway and the game would have been almost over.
I'm a balloon phobic and the father really should have said something when he accepted the invitation, or not taken her as soon as he discovered there were balloons there.

I don't think the OP did anything wrong.

FairLadyRantALot · 25/05/2009 20:25

whereabouts do you live that your dd is 6 and only just started school?

I think that you are being unfair on the little girl for being upset, but yanbu to be annoyed at her Dad....

As for dump & run, quite normal at that age...although, it depends in the party, etc...
but yeah, if you give a big party you need to organize help

ConnieComplaint · 25/05/2009 20:27

I recall not so long ago there was a thread posted on here by a mum (Fio perhaps?)

She asked if she would be unreasonable to call a birthday girls mum & ask her not to have balloons at a party as her (SN I think?) dd/ds had a phobia of them.

IIRC it was almost unanimous that it would be perfectly OK for her to ask!

I don't remember what happened though, maybe someone else will.

FWIW my 7yr old dd isn't one I could just 'drop & run' either. She'd feel like she was drowning. My 4 yr old son on the other hand would be fine!

Thunderduck · 25/05/2009 20:30

I'm sure that was Thomcat. I've thought about that thread a few times as we never found out how the party went.

I think her daughter had special needs too and that she wasn't going to ask them not to have balloons, she wanted to make them aware that she might have to leave if her dd became distressed.

I would like to know how the party went. It was at Pizzahut I think.

ConnieComplaint · 25/05/2009 20:46

Yes, you're right.

And it was Thomcat!!

slightlycrumpled · 25/05/2009 20:57

DS2 has a balloon phobia, he is moderately deaf and with his hearing aids, balloons popping terrify him.

The last party he went to where there were a lot of balloons the entertainer saw his distress, and that we were about to leave and moved them all to one side for a while whilst she did her stuff. I loved her for that.

He is 5 and I would not leave him only for that reason. I can just take him out for a while or go home if it's really bad.

I always breathe a huge sigh of relief when balloons are absent at parties. It means I get to drink a cup of tea and have a chat with other parents!

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