Myself and my partner have lived together in Ireland(he Irish me English) for 8 years . Have 4 dcs, age 7,5,3,1. Although I love it over here, financial issues and lack of support(his parents deceased,siblings mostly insane lol)have over the past few years made me want to move back to England to which he was opposed. Then suddenly a few weeks ago he said he would be willing to move this summer which put me into a bit of a state. We were given a council house here in Ireland after a long fight to get one, prior to which we had lived in four rented homes in 6 years, a lot of upheaval to which i hoped a council house would end. However the council house although lovely in someways ie great immediate neighbours, big ;is in a bit of a state and the estate is full of quite agressive kids and boy racers so not the best for the kids.
On paper it seems like the obvious choice to move butI'm concerned about my dp who suffers from depression which has over the years manifested itself in addictive behaviours and I worry that the short term stress ie finding a job , staying with my folks etc could set him off again.
My other concern is my eldest dc has adhd and has only really settled into school the last year or so, making friends etc.
ARGHHH I dont know what to do...
My home area is very safe, great schools and i have made preliminary enquiries about a vacancy for my dream job, whreas here there is absolutely no government funded child care, making it impossible to work or study with 4dcs. Also I have checked the jobcentre site and there seems to a good bit of work in dps trade, whereas here he has to rely on occaisional work topped up with benefits.
I think the main problem is i am reluctant to make the final choice as if it goes wrong its my fault?
Also I dont know if I can relinquish the dream of the life I thought we would have one day here in Ireland. AIBU?