To make the kids go to a holiday club ONE DAY A WEEK during summer?

[BayFever]

During the summer holidays, I am going to be home alone with my own two children and a DSD.

I know I will not be able to cope with all 3 of them 24/7 for 7 weeks.

Our council run leisure centre runs a holiday club where for about £4 a day, kids go from 10am until 3pm and can choose from all different sports and activities to take part in.

Our kids have been once (before they knew each other so seperately) and hated it.

Reason they hated it was that it was "full of chavs" and the other kids were quite rough.

But personally, I think if all 3 of them are going together, it won't be as bad?

AIBU to force them to go to it just one day a week for the summer hols?

DSD does NOTHING, she has no hobbies or anything so whilst I might get a break from my own kids (who go to karate, scouts etc) I will have her with me 24/7 because she just refuses to do anything.

I WILL need some alone time.

AIBU to force them? just one day a week?

IMHO society can sometimes place too much emphasis on giving kids exactly what they want in exactly the way they want it provided and we as parents shouldn't beat ourselves up about kids sometimes having to do stuff/go places/be with people that they dislike.

Lots of parents use a patchwork of childcare arrangements in the holidays and speaking from experience the children concerned won't enjoy some of it as much as the rest. Some families get together with children being forced to spend time with cousins they don't really get on with, some use grandparents for childcare whether on odd days whether or not the child wants to spend that day with the grandparents.

The scheme the OP is talking about is for 5 hours and probably an hour of that will be a lunch break so 4 hours of activities with kids a bit rougher than they are used to, once a week (plus there are 2 children plus a half sibling who know each other to support each other). 4 HOURS A WEEK doesn't sound so bad does it.

Doesn't sound like too much hardship to me, particularly if they have a treat filled packed lunch and a big ice cream on the way home. You could always have a star chart with one star for each session they attend and award a prize of some sort at the end when all 5 or 6 or 7 stars have been collected.

I wonder if you live near me OP as we too have one such scheme run at the sports centre in one of the "wilder" parts of town and I couldn't believe how cheap it was when I got the details sent through. I sent ds for a day when his usual holiday club wasn't running for some reason and told him he only had to go for the day even though it ran for 2 days. He said when I collected him that he didnt want to go for the second day and I said "That's fine - no problem we can stay at home tomorrow", but he woke up the next morning and said he really wanted to go again which caused a mad panic of organisation to get him there on time. I wouldn't say it was his kind of thing as it was completely sports based (he's not very sporty but likes to join in anyway) and I know the kids were a bit rougher than he is used to but he had confidence in the "coaches" who were running it as they made it fun and I saw for myself that they had experience of and did a good job of controlling the wilder children.

I personally think that BayFever is sensibly planning ahead for a bit of respite in the summer hols and if things go better than planned (children change as they get older, things might be different this summer) she can always keep them at home on some of the holiday club days instead. Planning for a bit of respite and knowing that its coming each week will no doubt make for a far more harmonious parental/step parental mood which is good for the kids too.

BayFever , you know yourself and your relationship with your children and stepdaughter better than anyone else, you are the best judge of what is a good idea or a crap one.

yanbu

£4 a day per child and you get freedom peace and they prob have a good day for £12

sounds fantastic

the 3 of them now know each other, so sure they will be fine

£4 a day is ludicrously cheap. Our council charges I think £20. £40 is common in the private sector.

I'm slightly concerned about the 'chavs', I remember my sister who was educated abroad in schools where you got your mouth washed out for swearing entered the local sink comprehensive when we came back to England, she wasn't equipped to cope with the horrific scumminess of bad English schools, so my parents had to withdraw her and sent her to private school. It's a fact that some children are nothing more than violent scummy thugs, and 'chav' is nothing more than a convenient label for that. I don't get the "thou shalt not be judgemental", when the behaviour being judged is violent and antisocial.

I guess it is only one day a week, but I wonder how bad it is?

Personally I'd look for something more pleasant, but that may depend on your finances. Lots of private schools run similar schemes that might be more amenable, but the cost is going to be much more, in relative terms at least, not sure if that will be a problem for you.

YANBU - one day a week won't kill them, and you deserve a break too!

Plenty of kids don't like school either remember, and they still have to go.

How about dropping them off at the local adventure playground - they run activities inside if it rains (craft ones) and they have woods and masses of play equipment outside. Once they are registered they can just be dropped off. And it's free.

DD loves the local ones.

Wow Lauriefairycake, where do you live? It sounds fab but there is nothing like that around here. Free activities for children where yuou can just leave them? Heavenly

YABU.

I have two boys who would hate, hate, hate to be forced to go to an all day play-scheme thing. I would never send them somewhere all day long where I know they will be miserable, how selfish would that make me, just because I wanted a peaceful day?

These are your children, who you wanted, and created, not a pack of rabid dogs dumped on you to control for a few weeks.

Hertfordshire

Are you sure you don't have anything like that - they are usually rubbishly advertised but if you go to your councils website - the main one .gov.uk and search for adventure there might be one close-ish by. We're on the borders of 3 counties here so there is usually something in 5-30 minutes drivs

Bayfever We send our DSs to a holiday club virtually every day in the holidays (not this half term though) and they love it.

However, they go to a private holiday club that is very well run indeed with very high standards of discipline. They used to go to another private holiday club where dicipline standards were lower and the DSs hated the disorder, chaos, fighting and general bullying and mean behavbiour by other kids.

If the club you are thinking of send your DCs to is chaos - then they may well not have a nice time.

YANBU sending kids to a good holiday club as it is good for them and you also - but not if the atmosphere at the club is hell on earth. I suspect your DCs think it is and that is why they are reluctant - the 'quite rough' part is the bit that worries me. I am on your DCs side on this one.

our 'cheap' playschemes are cheap as they're subsidised. Staff are also very highly qualified.

i wonder sometimes if the staff on some privately run expensive schemes are as qualified, or as up to date with playwork practices.

I would tell them to at least give it a whirl. If they absolutely hate it then i wouldn't "make" them go again. If they are anything like my ds, he dreads new experiences and then ends up loving it!

Sometimes we have to give them a little push to try something new.

BTW, my eldest uses a private holiday club which is very sports focused. It is VERY expensive (think fulltime childcare costs) compared to what you are paying, but it is brilliant and he absolutely loves it.