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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To pull DP up on his ex-wife everytime he goes on about my ex?

12 replies

ShitStick · 23/05/2009 17:52

My partner has a habit of constantly slagging off my ex. Thing is, he doesn't seem to realise that most of what he slags my ex off for, is what his ex-wife does but to a lesser degree!!

For instance the other day we were on about maintanance and he says "I think it's pathetic how much he pays, he could afford more than that" errr ... your wife pays NOTHING towards your daughter remember! she won't pay maintanance AT ALL!

Another one was ...

"I think he could have the kids much more than he does, he needs to stop being so selfish" --- his ex wife see's their daughter for about an hour ONCE A MONTH because she simply can't be arsed anymore than that! My ex has the kids every other weekend.

On a slightly different scale there was another incident where he was talking about another couple who had split up. He suddenly said "The kids are still with HIM?? so she hasn't taken them with her? that's so strange" - it's exactly what happened with his ex wife!! he got custody of the kid, she walked out and left her!

It really winds me up that he doesn't seem to remember his own life when he's slagging off other people.

AIBU? Should I mention this stuff to him more or would that be spiteful?

OP posts:
fourkids · 23/05/2009 17:58

oooh difficult...you don't want it to look like you are sticking up for your ex over him! But he is BU!

If I was getting in a mood about it I might say something like: 'I'm not sticking up for my ex or anything, but are we pretending yours is bloody perfect or something?'

or you could ignore it...but YANBU IMO

RumourOfAHurricane · 23/05/2009 18:02

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BitOfFun · 23/05/2009 18:05

Ooh Shiney, that's uncharacteristically dignified for you

I agree though- and if he keeps it up just mumble "Pot, kettle?" and ask him if he needs any WD40 to polish his halo...

HecatesTwopenceworth · 23/05/2009 18:15

You're all nicer than me! I just know I'd throw every single comment back at him with a "How can you talk like that when....."

Every. single. time.

Clearly I'm a big bitch.

Sorry no nice advice, tbh, I'd just go for it!

RumourOfAHurricane · 23/05/2009 18:15

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RumourOfAHurricane · 23/05/2009 18:17

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BitOfFun · 23/05/2009 18:18

Not wanky at all- just very restrained and sensible: I expect excess and ribaldry from you

And you are right about the duraglit- perhaps the WD40 is why my halo keeps slipping!

OrmIrian · 23/05/2009 18:19

YANBU. That would annoy me too. Not his business.

BitOfFun · 23/05/2009 18:19

All is well with the world now

RumourOfAHurricane · 23/05/2009 18:20

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RumourOfAHurricane · 23/05/2009 18:20

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lizziemun · 23/05/2009 19:37

I'm with HecatesTwopenceworth on this one.

If he moans about how much maintenance your Ex pays then say 'oh good has your Ex arrange for maintenance to be paid'.

On contact time again 'oh good your Ex is going to have your dc more'.

Does he realise what he is saying.

I do think you need to get it sorted otherwise it going to become a bigger problem.

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