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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find use of mobile phones in restaurants rude...

24 replies

AliGrylls · 22/05/2009 14:16

husband and I were out on Saturday night for his birthday in what I would describe as a really smart restaurant (ie, men wearing shirts and girls mostly dressed up). Half way through the meal I looked around me and saw that the person on the table next to us was texting. I thought she must be the only rude one around but then I noticed that half the restaurant was at it and some people were even talking on their phones. I was so surprised - when did people start chatting on their mobiles during meals out with their friends? Does anyone else think it is really rude to text / chat? It is almost like saying the company you are in is really boring. DH thinks I am over the top on this topic but it really is a bug bear of mine.

OP posts:

pagwatch · 22/05/2009 14:19

Of course its rude

PlumBumMum · 22/05/2009 14:27

I think it is rude but my dh is like yourself he can't stand actually he can't stand texting full stop, so god forbid you text whilst in his company

PigeonPair · 22/05/2009 14:29

I completely agree with you! I always feel a real dag if people do that when I am out with them - like they are waiting for a more interesting thing to be invited to / go along to (they probably are - ha ha!!). My other bug bear is when people talk on their mobiles when they are being served in a shop. I always feel so sorry for sales assistants when they are doing a transaction and the whole thing goes through without any exchange of words with the customer.

pingping · 22/05/2009 14:42

yabu my phone is attached to my hand I run a business and people are always contacting me at rubbish times.

snowmummy · 22/05/2009 14:46

YANBU although I always leave mine on in case of emergencies with DC's

FabulousBakerGirl · 22/05/2009 14:47

Was your DH not entertaining you enough to stop you having time to look around?

YABU it wasn't affecting your meal.

fleacircus · 22/05/2009 14:53

Would never do it myself but it doesn't bother me if other people (i.e. complete strangers, not whoever I'm with). I do now keep my phone on the table when we're out, (having it on the table means I can have it on silent, I have decided this is marginally better than having it in my bag and risking it ringing!) in case there's a problem with DD. I hate doing it and was really annoyed on one occasion when my mum, who was babysitting, rang to ask me to get her a paper on the way home - obviously I answered it and therefore joined the unmannerly entirely against my own volition.

mumeeee · 22/05/2009 15:09

YABU, They wern't on your table so it was nothing to do with you.

pinkstarfish · 22/05/2009 16:44

YABU, it's the 21st century, accept it and move on.

Bucharest · 22/05/2009 16:50

I just don't understand why people go out with a group of people and then spend all evening talking to still more people on the phone. I went out with 3 friends, and we all sat in a place, with all 3 of them phoning up other people and not actually talking to the people they'd gone out with. Bonkers.
It's a sign of great personal insecurity and need to show others how popular/important you are IMO.

Marne · 22/05/2009 16:58

YABU, I always take my phone out with me to keep in touch with the baby sitter (in case anything goes wrong or one of them is ill etc..) I often text to check all is ok and then text when we are leaving.

It wouldn't bother me at all.

TheDevilWearsPenneys · 22/05/2009 17:05

This always amuses me. I'll get a text from a friend saying 'Out having a really lovely meal, are you free tomorrow?'

It clearly can't be that lovely if you are busy texting people for non urgent things.

Ponymum · 22/05/2009 17:13

YANBU. I totally agree with you. (But I must ask, do you often go to restaurants where the men don't wear shirts? I am trying to picture this.)

jasper · 22/05/2009 17:14

Yes it is rude . YANBU

Lucia39 · 22/05/2009 17:29

Mobile phones! Very useful devices but why do so many people use them everywhere and anywhere? This does seem to be particularly prevalent in Britain BTW! I regularly see women at check-outs trying to pack groceries, keep an eye on small children, key in credit card details, and still attempt some mindless conversation on their mobile! I even overheard a woman in a cubicle in the loo answering her phone and answering with some exasperation "I'm on the loo in Sainsbury's"!!!!

As for cinemas, restaurants, theatres [even the opera]! It's just incredibly rude - hence Richard Griffiths' fully justified outbursts. I wonder how Sir Thomas Beecham [bless him] would have responded had mobiles been around in his day!

Turn the bloody things off once in a while!

As for being "on call" 24/7 sorry I don't buy it. Most phones have a "silent" option and if it rings the individual can politely get up and vacate the premises in order to conduct their "life or death" conversation somewhere else!

fucksticks · 22/05/2009 17:32

DWP - sounds like the sort of thing I'd text if out and other person nipped to the loo or summat.
I hate twiddling my thumbs with nothing to do!

BitOfFun · 22/05/2009 17:35

I haven't been out for a meal with DP for a while, I wonder if I could desist from MNing under the table?

TheDevilWearsPenneys · 22/05/2009 17:41

If you can't stop yourself mid coitus god help you in a restaurant BoF.

BitOfFun · 22/05/2009 17:55

mermaidspurse · 22/05/2009 18:18

Ha thats nothing I have just been to a funeral and someones phone went twice during the service, it's plain rudeness.

Original poster

AliGrylls · 23/05/2009 10:16

Ponymum, I guess I meant as opposed to a t-shirt. Although men without shirts sounds like fun to me.

Mermaidspurse, I actually can't believe that. That is sooo disrespectful.

I can understand if someone needs to check in with a babysitter and I did not think that this may have been the case in one or two cases - but if that was me I would probably do it away from the dinnertable, pretend I need to go to the loo or something (as yet I am still a mum in waiting).

Actually, I hate that feeling of being on call 24/7 - most things aren't that urgent and if you miss a call from a friend it is not that hard to call them back when you are free. If something is urgent then I have a voicemail I can access easily enough.

OP posts:

PuppyMonkey · 23/05/2009 10:22

I find it very unreasonable when people do it when they are at dinner/in the pub etc with me. I could almost accept it if a call came, and they looked to see who it was and then they said: "Sorry I do have to take this" and then nipped out to the foyer or something. But to have a blardy conversation while you are at the table with them... DP has done this a few times with me. It makes me feel like a right plonker.

Original poster

AliGrylls · 23/05/2009 10:28

Fabulousbakergirl, my husband always entertains me.

Actually, I just thought of another analogy (given to me by dh) - imagine you go to a really nice restaurant and everyone is wearing bermuda shorts. It would tend to ruin the atmosphere and would show disrespect to fellow diners and the establishment itself. I feel continuous mobile phone use has the same effect and is plain bad manners.

OP posts:

Salme101 · 26/05/2009 23:28

AliGrylls, couldn't agree more. It does spoil the atmosphere. I don't worry too much about what other diners/drinkers are up to, but some people appear to think that every table is an island. If that's the case, may as well be in McDonalds

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